-Yeah, it is good to be here, but thank you for --
-You seem like you're in a bad mood.
-I am in a bad mood. Sorry. I am in a bad mood.
-Why?
-Because you bring me out after Taylor Swift
and, like, all of the excitement, the biggest --
one of the biggest stars,
and then it's deliberately to sabotage
that I come out here.
-I'm not doing this to sabotage you. I would --
-I come out here in a corduroy shirt.
-I could hear you walking out before you even came.
I'm actually so happy that you're here
and I want to talk to you about "The Last Best Hope,"
but I want to talk about, just in general,
I saw somewhere that --
You're in such a bad mood.
Such a punk. You are such a punk, man.
-You were holding it sarcastically.
-I wasn't holding it sarcastically.
-I'll hold it. -I was holding in reverence.
-I'll hold it. -Oh, gosh. Alright.
I wanted to ask you a thing,
because I think this is a compliment for you.
A lot of teachers -- -Oh, yeah.
-They're are asking you for your last special
to be put online, because they want to teach it to their --
They're teaching it to their students.
-Actually, they're not asking me.
They just use it. Nobody's paying for it.
No money, no credit, just use it at their classes.
But I am grateful for it. I know it sounds like I'm not.
Because I consider myself --
I was always in that role with Jimmy at "SNL."
I was really a mentor and a teacher to you.
You were just a young, wet-behind-the-ears boy,
and I told you -- I'm the reason you have this show.
Remember what I said when you were there?
-What is going --
-And I remember telling you -- Early on, I said,
"When you leave the show, do a couple of unwatchable movies.
Then go into talk-show... [ Laughter ]
What did I say? -This is unbelievable.
-Hey, come on. Oh!
-Which one?
Give me that...
Which one was unwatchable? -Oh...
[ Both laugh ]
-But this is -- Look at this.
You're doing material that is
going to go in the educational system.
-I know. It is good.
-What kind of changes would you make if you were a teacher?
What would you say to these kids?
What do they have to learn?
-Well, here's the problem, is our education system,
we teach what?
Study hard, bear down, you'll be a success in life.
-Yeah. -That's not our system.
We're a sales country.
We should be teaching kids that the person
that studies hard, that goes to work and just works,
and doesn't talk to anybody, they go,
"That's the office psycho."
We're -- Teach personality.
Kids should be taught first day of preschool --
Everyone has social anxiety.
Teach your kids to walk in and memorize --
Like, just walk in first day of preschool and be like,
"Is it me or is this bus driver a little off?"
Something like that.
[ Cheers and applause ]
You know, get people to...
-A little bit off.
-Teach them how to work the crowd.
That's who does well in our country,
the people that walk in and be like,
"See? This kid knows what I'm talking about."
The kid doesn't even know. They're like this.
But you're like, "You get it. You get it."
Just bond.
You're like, "The other kids -- I don't know if they get it.
You know, they're like zombies. You get it, you know?
We need more kids like you in this class, I'll be honest.
Not a lot of us left."
It's a personality country.
-Yeah, it is.
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪
-I just want...
Hold up.
Yo! Sit down!
-You're holding it sarcastically.
You're holding it sarcastically.
Chris, Chris, how can I --
Chris, how can I help you?
-I just came to see Taylor Swift, Jimmy.
-No, you missed Taylor Swift.
-Are these all military people? -Yes, these are all military.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Yes!
25% got fake vaccines. [ Laughter ]
-Chris, good to see you, as always.
You missed Taylor. I'll send you a link.
-Alright. -I'll send you a link.
Chris Rock, everybody.
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪
-Oh, that's great, Jimmy. Nice. That was accidental, too?
Hey, let's bring out
Harry Styles and Olivia Wilde next.
-Colin, when I talk about "The Last Best Hope,"
you're going to go on the road with this.
You're going to travel the country.
-Oh, sure I am. -Yeah.
But this is -- Can I ask you about this, though?
"The Last Best Hope" -- who is the the last best hope?
-Well, it's a quote from Lincoln
about the country being the last best hope.
But in this case,
it's "Colin Quinn, The Last Best Hope."
I mean... [ Cheers and applause ]
-"Colin Quinn, The Last Best Hope"
is running now through November 20th
here in New York, then heading to
cities across the U.S.
For tickets, go to colinquinn.com.