• From inappropriate sandwich innuendo, to totally ruining a game of spin the bottle,
the Planet Dolan crew re-enact some of the best true stories from our subreddit: the
dumbest things you’ve said while trying to be romantic – I’m Danger Dolans Mysterious
Brother and today I’ll be your narrator
10 - Swally0322 Nixxiom Nixxiom once went out on a date with a girl
his friend Hellbent hooked him up with and he was really nervous because he didn't usually
go on many dates.
During the meal she says to him "I'm having a really nice time tonight" and Nixxiom didn't
know what to say, so he thought back to when his friends were talking about pickup lines
and for some reason he said "You know I feel like you work at subway because I bet you
could handle my footlong".
She got up, walked out, and he hasn’t seen her since.
9 - why_am_im_so_bored Pandora When Pandora was younger, she was really keen
on a guy at school.
One day she said to him "Hey babe I bet you know how to 'fix my computer'".
He did, and came over to her house and looked at her computer.
There was obviously nothing wrong with it, and what she really meant was "Hey babe come
over to my house so we can kiss".
She then tried to kiss him and he literally climbed out of her window and told her he
could never like her.
In a panic, she replied: "But we go together better than shit and piss!".
Unsurprisingly, he never talked to her again after that.
8 - Pinapplepunch GhostToast When GhostToast was in 5th grade he was nervously
sitting next to his girlfriend in a grass field.
In a moment of panic, he said to her ‘Do you uh.. want to eat grass?
He then proceeded to eat some grass from the ground.
She stared blankly at him and got up and walked away.
The next day he saw her in class and was so embarrassed he nearly peed his pants.
7 - TheHappyHopper Dolan When Dolan was younger he tried to ask out
this girl at school when suddenly Hellbent came running down the hall and yelled, “DUDE
YOU HAVE A MASSIVE ERECTION SEE LOOK AT YOUR CROTCH”, this led him to walk away, silently
embarrassed, with everyone (including the girl) laughing.
6 - KFORS Melissa Melissa was once on a date with a guy and
decided to play a bit of pokemon go while they walked home.
When they got to her front door she invited him in for some cold water as it was a hot
summer night and they had just walked a mile.
She nervously blurted, "So do you want to come inside, drink some water, maybe let me
get a Pikachu?"
Get it?
(peek at you) He just kind of stared at her and said "No, I'm good thanks" She was hoping
a bad pun would loosen the mood, but she was wrong.
At least she didn't say something about “Sqwirtling”.
5 - EveTheCursedGirl Snewpee and Doopie Snewpee was attempting to be romantic with
her friend Doopie, giving her subtle hints that she had a crush on her.
But Doopie thought she was joking around.
Weeks later at a party, Doopie showed up in a red dress and Snewpee was in a tuxedo.
She had brought Doopie flowers, kneeled down on one knee and asked her to be her girlfriend.
She laughed, took the flowers, and said 'You’re so sweet but I’m seeing someone else.'
She was shut down in front of everyone.
Doopie got off her knee, went back home and cried as she ate the box of chocolates she
was supposed to give to her.
4 - InvisibleGuardian369 Slapped Ham On the last day of school holidays, Slapped
Ham found a pretty flower that he wanted to give to his crush on the first day of school.
He practiced what he was going to say to her: "7 billion smiles and yours is my favorite"
then hand her the flower.
But when he saw her the next day he ran up to her really excited saying "TAKE THE THING!
TAKE IT!"
She laughed and when he explained what he had planned she smiled and told him that it
was beautiful and what he actually said was funny and adorable.
3 - BluetheWartortle Pringle When Pringle was a kid, he had a crush on
a girl in his class.
One day, his friend Sweet Commando told him to flirt with her so he could win her heart.
As Pringle walked over to his crush he exclaimed: "Hey girl, you look majestic like a horse."
Apparently he said that because he thought horses were the most majestic animal in the
world.
She replied, "Did you just say my face looks like a horse?"
After that, he froze in awkwardness, regretting his decision immediately.
2 - SovereignofSabers Hellbent When Hellbent was a kid, a girl wanted to
play spin the bottle with him.
He didn’t like her that much, but for some reason he decided to tag along.
She told him that they were playing "super" spin the bottle, meaning that each person
had to say something romantic when the bottle landed on them, and then kiss.
She spun it and it landed on Hellbent.
He didn't even know what "romantic" meant, but she got up close to him and whispered,
"What do you think about me?"
Without thinking, he blurted out, "your head looks like a turnip, and you smell like puberty-obesity."
She looked like she wanted to cry, but for some reason she still kissed him on the cheek.
He told her that her lips were drier than lizard lips and she ran out of the bathroom
crying.
Number 1 – What’s something dumb you’ve said while trying to be romantic?
I had my first girlfriend when I was about 10 or 11.
It was weird, and I didn’t know what I was doing.
I must have liked her though because one day I found a ring and I planned on giving it
to her as a present.
We went on a field trip to the local pool and I didn’t talk to her much because I
wanted to talk without anyone else there.
So, while we lined up for the bus back to school, she wanted to know if I still loved
her, which she communicated by passing messages through like 5 of her friends.
I said yes but they weren’t convinced.
After being pestered by them for AGES, I just said no because it’s private and I really
hated talking to her friends about it.
And that’s how I accidentally dumped my first girlfriend.
Huge thanks for the folks over on our Planet Dolan subreddit for submitting their stories.
We have another question for you: “What’s the weirdest conversation you’ve had with
a stranger?”
Let us know in the reddit page linked below and you might be featured in a future countdown