- When it comes to name brands,
who's the smartest cookie?
- Let's talk about that.
(upbeat techno music)
- Good mythical morning.
- For those of you who've been asking
about signed copies of "The Lost Causes of Bleak Creek",
listen, for a limited time, we got 'em
on sale at the mythical store.
Get your while you can at mythical.com.
- Signed by us.
- Yeah.
- Christmas time is here, y'all,
and there's nothin' like a cookie
to bring you good cheer, but if you like eatin' cookies
a lot more than you like makin' 'em, I feel you,
and we're here to help you decide the best cookies to buy
from the store.
- And you may think that the best cookies
are the ones you've heard of, but listen up, buddy roll.
We have learned that sometimes,
name recognition is nothing but smoke, mirrors,
and billions of dollars of marketing.
- Mm-hmm.
- So, today, we find out if those name brands
taste the best. - Bronds.
- Or if they fall to the rest.
It's time for Knock-Off Knockout: Cookie Edition.
- In every single round,
we're gonna have four plates of cookies
placed in front of us. - Whoo!
- I'm excited about that.
- One of those will be the name brand
that we all know and potentially love,
and then the other three will be generic brands
of the same type of cookie.
- We're gonna be competing to correctly guess
which cookie is the brand name,
and then, whoever wins will receive
a very special cookie jar jar!
Ha!
(dramatic music)
We're starting off with the classic.
Chocolate chip cookie.
We're tryin' to find the Chips Ahoy!
- Chips Ahoy.
Now, these are lighter in color.
These are lighter in color except for the edge.
- Those are kinda uneven. - These are darker.
- I'd say that's a fair cookie.
- Now, you like chewy Chips Ahoy!
- I do.
I have a weakness for a chewy
cookie.
This one's fluffier.
- That's a good cookie.
- I actually prefer this cookie.
You prefer this cookie?
- Mm-hmm. - What about this cookie?
- Oh gosh.
- Oh.
That's a crunchier cookie.
- That's almost a gingersnap.
- More chocolate chips, too.
So, if you like chocolate chips and crunch.
- I don't need to eat any more of those.
- Number three is for you.
And see how this one is lighter in the middle
and darker on the outside?
- What's that mean?
- It means its not Chips Ahoy!
- It's the opposite of me.
Light on the outside and dark on the inside.
(crew laughing)
- It's not that this cookie tastes bad,
but it's the worst of the four.
You agree?
- [Rhett] That's the worst.
- I don't know, I thought. - That's the best.
- See, I thought this one.
- Well, vote for it, then.
(laughing)
- [Stevie] You ready?
- I'm ready - I think it's too light.
- You know what?
- [Stevie] Okay, flags up.
Three, two, one, stick 'em.
- I actually think it's this one.
It's the crunchy chocolaty one,
cause they're spending more money on the chocolate.
- Really?
You might be right, I don't know.
- [Stevie] The Chips Ahoy! Cookies
are on plate
two. - Rhett!
- Yeah. - You stinker!
(laughing)
- [Stevie] The other ones from Rhett's to Link's
are Target's Market Pantry. - Not bad!
- [Stevie] Signature Select Treasure Chips
from Albertson's. - Not good.
- [Stevie] And Kroger's ChipMates.
- I like Kroger.
We've established that.
Kroger brings it, but
Albertsons needs to go out back
and just be put down.
- No!
They can hang with me.
Dang!
(laughing)
(dramatic music)
♪ It's Nilla Wafer tasting time ♪
- Okay, look at these.
Lighter Nilla Wafers.
Darker.
- [Rhett] Real dark!
- [Link] Real dark!
And then back to number one.
- Yeah, one and four match.
I'm just gonna go straight whole bite.
- Mm.
- Nilla Wafers are always a little bit smaller
than how I remember them.
Every time I see 'em.
It's like they're all getting smaller.
- Ooh, this one is raunchy!
(crew laughing)
- This one tastes like a moth ball.
- Not good at all.
- [Rhett] I mean, moth balls are not good.
- It tastes like it has cleaner on it.
Some sort of chemical. - Wow!
- It tastes like detergent.
- It's been laced!
- Is this a Tide Pod?
(crew laughing)
- Whoever's making this is tryin' to kill you!
- It tastes like Tide!
- [Link] It literally does.
Taste one.
- It tastes like.
- If I die, you're gonna die.
- Tell me that doesn't taste like detergent.
- [Crew] Yeah, that tastes gross.
- These are okay.
- Those are good.
Wow.
Super crispy.
- Yeah, these are.
Is it really vanilla-y?
- Oh, that's good!
- It's not a vanilla flavor.
It's an additional flavor.
Almost like a hint of cinnamon.
- You're right, you're right.
There's cint-a-mon in there.
(crew laughing)
I agree with that sentiment.
- So weird, it's like a Christmas Nilla Wafer.
- Maybe it is, we don't know the rules around here.
I'm ready.
- [Stevie] Kay.
Three, two, one.
- It's got to be these.
- Oh, really?
No, it's those.
Those are good, though, right? - Nilla Wafers.
- [Stevie] Are on plate number
three. - Yeah.
- Dang it, Rhett!
You a cookie monster! - The others.
- [Stevie] From Rhett to Link
are Albertsons Signature Select.
- I like Albertsons!
- You like Albertsons.
Man, I wanna kill it!
- I like Albert and his son.
(crew laughing)
- [Stevie] Clover Valley from Dollar General.
- Dollar General. - Dollar General.
- Is mixing the detergent and the cookie.
- You gotta separate aisles, Dollar General!
- Hold on, but you know what?
You throw this in with a big load of whites?
- Yeah. (crew laughing)
- That's us, a big load of whites.
(laughing)
- [Stevie] And Great Value from Walmart.
(dramatic music)
- All right, now we're gonna get Figgy with it.
- The Nabisco Fig Newton.
- Now, you had a lot of Fig Newtons at home growin' up.
- There was a time
where I went Fig Newton happy. - The Fig Newton season.
- I called it. - Yeah.
- [Rhett] The season of Fig.
- [Link] I gravitated towards them.
- [Rhett] So, you should get this right.
- I already know which one it is.
Just by lookin' at 'em.
- That tastes like a Fig Newton.
- Yeah it did.
Now, these are smoother on the outside.
Those are darker.
Oh, sorry.
- I'm gonna get another one.
- Just cause I touched it with my...
- Don't touch a man's Fig right when he's gettin' ready
to eat it.
- Hmm.
- Oh, that's better.
That's almost juicy.
- [Link] I actually think this one's better.
- Your taste buds are broken, man.
- Rhett.
- Why do you like things that are bad?
- Just because I disagree with you
doesn't mean that I'm broken.
- But the first two rounds. - It may mean that I'm right.
- The first two rounds, you chose Albertsons,
which really didn't taste well.
Or good.
(crew laughing)
- Ooh, these are.
These are kind of stale.
- Don't hold that against them.
- A Fig Newton is somethin' that
once I stopped eating them, I never looked back.
I never thought to myself I miss Fig Newtons,
and now that I'm eating them, I'm like.
- Have you ever gotten that one out of your hands?
- I'm not gonna touch that one.
- How does that make you feel?
(crew laughing)
- I don't like Fig Newtons.
I can't believe I ate them for three years of my life.
- I never understood it.
I'll be honest with you.
But it was the only thing you had at your house to eat.
- They're chewy.
There's nothing crunchy in it.
That's why I liked 'em.
Just for the consistency.
I have your label.
- I have your label.
- And I want your label. - Nope.
(laughing)
- I'm not super confident in this one, but.
- [Stevie] Oh.
Okay.
Well, we're there.
- This is what I was gonna do, as well.
- I didn't want you to think that I was copying you,
but I knew you were gonna do that.
- Okay.
I went with these because
they have the most reminiscent taste
and they're also, I remember them being smooth, right?
- But I do prefer these a little bit.
- Yeah, cause they're from Albertsons.
- Probably.
- [Stevie] The plate that you prefer is the correct answer.
- Yeah. - Oh, dang it!
- Really?
- [Stevie] Please do not throw the Fig Newtons.
The others are Walmart's Great Value,
Dollar General's Clover Valley,
and Trader Joe's.
- So, you're saying these are the real Fig Newtons?
- [Stevie] That's what I'm sayin'.
- Oh dang. - How's that possible?
- I could've bridged the gap.
(dramatic music)
Now, let's find the original Barnum's Animal Crackers.
Now, Barnum's and Bailey's and all those people,
they went out of business.
Right, for the circus?
They're still makin' the crackers?
And by the way.
- They're in the cracker business, now.
- They're crackers.
This is a cookie episode.
Why do we eat crackers for?
- But they're technically a cookie.
- [Link] They are because they're sweet?
Is that why? - I don't know.
- [Rhett] That's a cow, I picked up a cow.
- I don't know.
This one's like a mountain goat.
- Slight lemony flavor. - Lemon.
- You remember that from the original animals?
- No, I don't.
- Camel.
Huh, that one really gets a cracker taste
on that back end.
- It does, doesn't it?
This is not a cookie.
- It becomes straight up cracker at the end.
- That one's still a cookie.
This one becomes a cracker.
- Crackle.
- Had they changed the design. - Who would eat this?
- This is like.
Is this a nursing hippopotamus?
- This is somethin' to get children excited.
- I think this is a hippo nursing a baby hippo.
Or is the hippo just grabbing its own breast?
- What would you do if you were a hippo?
- I guess be mistaken for a girl.
I can't tell what this is.
- Look at this one.
They didn't even take the time to cut the legs out.
- Yeah, that's cheap.
- It's definitely one of these two.
I mean, we both know that.
- Well, the thing we learned is that
they have a lemony flavor.
I like these better than those two,
and I'm gonna taste this.
These are the best tasting.
Did you eat one?
- Yeah, I had one.
- Which one do you like the best?
- Number one.
- I don't like lemon flavored stuff.
So, I like these the best,
and I like these the second best.
These are horrible and that's number three for me.
- [Stevie] Ready to guess?
Okay. - Yeah.
- Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's it.
- [Stevie] The Barnum's Animal Crackers
are on plate number
four. (buzzing)
- Wha?
- [Stevie] That's right!
The one you chose is Trader Joe's.
The next one is Target's Market Pantry
followed by Costco's Kirkland Signature.
- Somebody's been feeding me
the wrong animal cracker. - Are you serious?
- All my life. - This is not.
- What's in my mind about how they look.
They've updated the design.
- My whole world's been turned upside down.
I don't know if I can go on.
- Well, they taste the best
and I'm going forward without you.
(dramatic music)
- Okay.
Couple things to note.
Number one.
This round's gonna be worth two points.
You have a chance to tie.
- Yes!
- And we are blindfolded because we're tasting Oreo's,
and Oreo's, if you didn't know, say Oreo on them.
- I'm in a plate.
That's a sweet, sweet cream in the middle of that.
- I would think I just ate an Oreo.
- Yeah, that tasted like an Oreo!
Felt like an Oreo, too.
This one also feels like an Oreo.
- Huh, this one's more crumbly.
- Yeah, a lot more crumbly, not as crunchy.
Not nearly as chocolatey.
- I don't wanna give too much away,
but I don't think that's an Oreo.
- Yeah, that ain't an Oreo.
This one seems to have more frosting in the middle.
- Y'all put a Double Stuf in here?
- This one's a good one, too.
This is a good cookie. - That's a good cookie.
- It's got more frosting than number one,
and a very similar taste.
The chocolate is a little more
cocoa-y.
Is this the last one?
- [Stevie] Yeah, you're doin' great.
- Oh, this one's thin.
- Oh.
Somebody sat on these.
- Where's my freakin' cream in the middle?
- Yeah, these got sat on in the store.
- This is the Dollar General. - I'm gonna put that one back.
- At their mess again.
- It's really down to these two.
- They don't taste bad, but.
- Is this in front of me, or is?
- Is this in front of you?
You don't even know what's in front of you?
So, this is two,
and then this is,
is this one?
And then this is two, okay.
One.
(crunching)
Mm.
- How much cookie is too much cookie
cause I'm about to be there.
- I didn't wanna eat two.
I forgot, it's really three that we're concerned about.
I accidentally put some daggum two in my mouth
and I meant to put a three.
(crew laughing)
Now I'm chewing multiple.
(crew laughing)
- [Stevie] Okay, I need you
to be very careful. - My mouth is so confused.
- [Stevie] Be very careful with your sticks, please.
- Yep, always am.
- [Stevie] And I'm not even gonna count down.
You just gingerly place them where you believe,
cause you can't see each other, so just.
Okay, good.
- I hope that was two.
No, dang it.
Oh, it appears that you.
- [Stevie] What are you going for, Link?
- What're you doing, man?
- I'm just tryin' to find
number one.
Okay, found it.
- Hold on, I think you just took mine out.
(crew laughing)
That's mine.
There we go, all right.
So, that's our final guesses.
- You can't.
- [Stevie] Okay.
All right, I see what's going on here,
and you can both remove your blindfolds.
You both have.
- I gotta go for the gusto.
- Oh, oh! - I'm doing this.
- Final answer. - Okay.
- [Stevie] All right.
So, Rhett is going plate one and Link is going plate three,
and you may remove.
- I just read the cookie, I'm right.
(laughing)
- Dang it! - Yeah.
- Look at that.
- Hey, this is not a bad cookie, though.
Who is this? - This is one is good.
It better not be from Albertsons.
- [Stevie] The one next to Oreo is Walmart's Great Value.
The one that you said was good was Trader Joe's.
- Trader Joe's.
- [Stevie] And the last one is Kroger's.
- Kroger's?
- They put a lot of filling. - You made it plural?
- [Stevie] Kroger's owns it.
- Oh. - Apostrophe.
- Okay.
Thought you were tryin' to be like our moms.
- Trader Joe's.
- Turn everything plural.
- Very good.
- Well, congratulations, Rhett.
You're the cookie ID, man.
So, you get a cookie Jar-Jar.
- A cookie Jar Jar!
- Oh, I get it. - Me so happy!
(laughing)
- Take a bite of his eyeball.
- Glue?
- Yeah, man, go for it.
It's not gonna be any worse than.
- Oh, gosh, it's a chewy one.
Y'all made this last week.
(laughing)
- Thank you for liking, commenting and subscribing.
- You know what time it is.
- I'm Jacob.
- I'm Levi.
- We're about to make cookies.
- [Both] And it's time to spin the wheel of mythicality!
- What's in those cookies?
(laughing)
- Contain yourselves, boys.
- Click the top link to watch us
taste Girl Scout cookie knockoffs in Good Mythical More.
- And to find out where the wheel of mythicality gonna land.
- [Rhett] Look, feel, and smell your mythical best
with our mythical grooming collection
available at mythical.com.