[Merc:] "Right. Let's find all these mutated monkeys and take--"
[Suppressed gunshots]
"Did you see something!?"
[Laughs] Here they come...
[Merc:] "What the hell!?" [Screaming]
[Hysterical laughter]
Eh, y'know me, I'm gonna be playing on the hardest difficulty every ga--
[Alarm blaring, gunshots] Alright, so on Realistic apparently the enemies can shoot you super accurately
right through the wall.
Oh, I dunno wh--think we're gonna have to go and switch this down to easy.
I've successfully sneaked into the enemy base. No one knows I'm here--
[Sniper shot, pain sound]
What the fuck... [Second shot, death sound]
[Harland Doyle:] "Hello?"
Uhp, here we go.
[Doyle:] "Are you there? Call me Doyle."
[Jack Carver:] "How do I know I can trust you?"
[Laughs]
[Doyle:] "Well, for starters, how 'bout the fact that I haven't turned you in?"
[Carver:] "Good point. Keep talking!"
[Loud laughter]
I'm prone in the grass... no one can see me... I'm com--
[Alarm goes off] What the FUCK!? This is EASY DIFFICULTY...!? THIS IS---!
Shooting anyone alerts all the guards--
[Merc:] "Whatever it was, it's not worth our trouble!"
--so I'm gonna try and sneak up on this sniper guy with a knife--
[Merc:] "There he is!" [Gunshots]
--and that did not work at all.
And... it didn't alert anyone.
Alright.
Ohh, they're bringin' a fuckin' helicopter to kill me?
Just gonna drop 'em off right in front of me?
Know what...
Why don't you suck on this?
WHAT!? [Laughs] What? [Explosion]
[Harsh whisper] If I'm in my ghillie suit, I'll be impossible to see...
until I'm very close.
[Merc:] "What was that?"
[Whispering] Oh, fuck, they spotted me already.
Now I see why the game is called Far Cry:
'cause the enemies can see--[Car starts] What the fuck?
[Gunfire] Because the enemies can see you from ACROSS THE REALM.
Doesn't matter where you are, they can just spot you.
[Engine running]
What are they doing?
Alright, they're stuck down there. [Laughs]
[Gunshot, pain sound]
[Merc:] "Noooooooooooooo!"
[Merc:] "Did you see somethin'?"
[Hysterical laughter]
[Gunshot, pain sound]
I don't think they could see me from way over the--that's just pushing it.
[Alert noise] And they saw me.
Okay. Yep.
IT'S A GOOD THING THIS BABY CAN SWIM! SEE YA LATER--
Oh. Wait. I'm thinking of boats.
Bo--
[Carver:] "Doyle! My arm is turning green!"
[Hysterical laughter]
[Doyle:] "Sounds like you caught the bug."
[Carver:] "I thought I took the antidote!"
[Doyle:] "The antidote should--"
Patience is the name of the game.
You wanna be a stealth master?
[Clears throat]
You gotta take your time.
So I'm proning--I've been proning through this whole level--
[Merc:] "Whatever, I think it was nothing."
--for about three hours now, and no one has--
[Merc:] "You see something?"
[Merc:] "IT'S HIM!"
Are you FUCKING KIDDING M--
Seems to be a beach area, we got a truck down there...
two guards...
AND A BOAT IS SHOOTING ROCKETS AT ME.
[Explosion] FROM WAY OVER THERE.
Is that car seeing me?
I can't tell if he sees me or if he's just driving around.
He's comin' this wa--
[Impact, pain sound]
Uhp, he just killed one of his own guys. [Chuckles]
AH, SHIT!
[Gunshots, loud laughter]
Doin' pretty good--
[Far Cry theme music playing REALLY LOUDLY]
Oh god, what is this music?
Did somebody see me?
Does EVERY GUARD ON THE MAP see me?
Wha-- [Music ends abruptly]
Oh.
That's defin' the music.
That's def--OH GOD. [Explosion]
IT'S THE BOAT!
OH FUCK!! IT'S THE BOAT!
You know what, boat-- [Gunfire]
Ehh, suck on that, ehh!
EHH, WHAT!
[Explosion, death sound]
NOOOO!!!
I'm looking for my son, Elmo.
[Merc:] "Who's that?" [Gunfire, screams]
Have you guys--?
[Merc:] "Where is he!?"
Now you don't know where I am?
In this confined area?
[Merc:] "Come on, you wimp!"
Did you just call me a wimp?
Now I see why this game is rated "M" for language.
Oh, helicop--you wanna play that game?
[Fires Rocket Launcher] Take that!
[Laughing]
[Imitating merc's voice] "Oh, there he is, I think I see him!"
"Yeah!"
"Nope."
"Wai--"
"Oh, th--yeah, that's him. That's Far Cry."
"Yeah, I got 'im now."
"Nope."
"Oh, wa--wa--wai--woah--woah--woah!"
"I think I see him, I think I see him."
"No, that's nothin'."
"OH WAIT--woah--woah--woah."
"There he is."
"And... wha--there he is."
[Gunshots]
SAY HELLO...
TO MY LITTLE DICK!
Wai-- [Laughs]
Look at this guy!
He doesn't know what the fuck is happening!
[Laughing]
[Explosions] Who could possibly be shooting at me with pin-point accurate mortar strikes?
Oh, it's THE BOAT!
Of course. The fucking boat!
I'm just gonna hide down here, fuck dat boat.
[Explosion, merc death sounds]
[Laughing]
'EY BOAT! SAY "HI" TO MOBY DICK FOR ME!
BOOM!
[Confused] Boom...?
Come on!
[Explosions] Th--there it is!
Now the explosion got him! Coo--
Where's this guy goin'? He's goin' somewhere.
He's got a plan.
[Gunshots] WHAT!?
One... two... three... four...
[Gunshots, pain sounds]
[Merc:] "Are you okay?!"
I can very distinctly hear a car running...
and they only make their running noise when there's enemies in 'em.
Oh, yep.
Think they're over-- [Gunshots]
WHAT!? Haha, you're fuckin' kidding me!
[Laughing] I think--I think the car's supposed to come out and chase you out of this building.
But it-- [Laughing]
Fuckin' game.
Fuck you!
Alright.
Eh...
And, yep, there they go.
Yeah, we're not doin' that. Ahh--nah--nah, we're not doin' that, guys.
Game ovah.
[Harland Doyle:] "Listen up. I've hacked into the secure channels,"
"and it looks like Valerie is being transferred to a chopper."
[Jack Carver:] "Ohhhh, maaaan!"
He can definitely see me.
I think I'm out of his range. I think he can see me,
but he can't shoot me at that range.
That guy, he's--he can see me. Right?
[Rocket Launcher fires]
Yep. He can see me.
[Explosion]
[Harland Doyle:] "You must be Jack."
What is this cutscene?
[Jack Carver:] "How did you know THAT?"
[Doyle:] "I've been expecting you."
[Hysterical laughter]
What the fuck is this?
I'm fighting this gu--thing now? [Laughs]
This is my favourite part-- [Suppressed gunshots] --of the whole game.
Here they come.
Waiiiiiii--aaaaaand
they jus-- oh.
[Merc:] "Where is he!?"
[Merc:] "Whatever! I think it was nothing."
[Hysterical laughter]
Take two, here we go. [Suppressed gunshots]
Aaaand they just watch 'em come.
Aaaand... [Impacts, screaming]
[Laughs]
OH FU--FUCK!!