hey everyone and welcome to top think today we're going to learn about how to trick yourself
into being confident now let's begin number one identify commonalities
comparisons destroy confidence even when you feel good about yourself comparisons can cause
lasting damage to your self-esteem or maybe you see someone who's more attractive than you are
or maybe more successful than you are maybe you feel intimidated by a social butterfly
you may wish you could navigate the social world as well as they do these comparisons emphasize the
differences between you and them you highlight the best things about someone else while focusing on
the worst things about yourself but you too are far more alike than different just think about
your most vulnerable moments washing your hair in the shower putting your pants on in the morning
tossing and turning in your bed at night hey you experience dozens of small vulnerable human
moments throughout the day and so does everyone else the people that intimidate you the people you
think are more attractive confident or charismatic than you are they wake up they shower and they
get dressed the same way you do they make clumsy mistakes they sing in the car they spill coffee on
their shirt they're regular people just like you so anything they can do you can do too so if you
want to trick yourself into being more confident just remember how similar everyone really is don't
put strangers up on a pedestal because it doesn't matter how good looking or outgoing someone seems
at the end of the day they're no different from you and you're no different from them number two
artificial comfort zones comfort zones are another powerful way to inspire confidence
everyone has their personal comfort zone a circle of places people and activities
where you feel the most comfortable inside this bubble you act the most like yourself
because you know you understand and you feel control within your personal comfort zone
you draw power and confidence from the boundary between familiar and unfamiliar comfortable and
uncomfortable in the same way you can create artificial comfort zones to trick yourself
into feeling more confident an artificial comfort zone is a comfortable boundary you create
inside of an uncomfortable situation there are a few different ways you can do this
the first is physical whether you're going out to a new restaurant or networking at a conference
just latch onto a physical location where you feel a sense of comfort maybe you have a table all to
yourself or you found a corner of the room where you feel comfortable it really doesn't matter what
kind of physical that you choose because inside this physical space you are in control you know
who comes in and who goes and just like that a small physical boundary turns an overwhelming
social event into something easy and manageable but social events aren't the only uncomfortable
situations that you'll face so the second kind of artificial comfort zone is a restriction
many people use this method for their social media they control the people they follow the posts they
read and the images they see they use limitations and privacy to control their social life
and that gives them confidence because they know who they can see and who can see them finally you
can use time as a kind of comfort zone alright let's say your friends want to go to a concert
but you're not feeling very confident you can trick yourself into feeling more confident by
creating a time frame you may say something like i'll enjoy myself from 8 to 10 and then i'll go
back home it's easier to come out of your shell when you know it's going to end sometime soon
the promise of comfort relieves your anxiety and tricks you into feeling more confident
number three negative countering when you're feeling anxious negative thoughts take over
your brain it may feel like you can't escape these self-deprecating patterns all you can
think about is failure or inadequacy but there are ways to counter those negative thoughts and
reorient your brain toward a positive state of mind one powerful trick is called negative
countering the goal is to counter your negative thoughts with a surplus of positive thoughts
so for every negative thing that pops into your head just think of five positive thoughts each
time you worry you're not good enough give yourself five reasons why that's not true
this technique directly combats destructive thought patterns and tricks your mind into feeling
significantly more confident the first time you do it it may feel challenging you may struggle
to think of five positive thoughts but as you repeat the process it will get easier and easier
your mindset will grow more and more positive until you think positive thoughts
without even trying and just like that forced positivity can evolve into genuine confidence
number four self-empowerment here's another great way to trick yourself into being confident
do something you're really good at no matter what you're passionate about your talents are
a wonderful source of confidence so use your passions and talents to inspire yourself and
trick your brain into feeling confident all right let's say you have an important phone call with
your boss in 20 minutes but you're nervous about how it's going to go hey don't spend those 20
minutes worrying instead do something that you're good at if you're an artist then draw something
if you're a musician play your favorite instrument use your talents to give you a burst of confidence
and that way when you're on the phone with your boss you won't feel nervous or shy
you'll feel confident and capable because you just spent time doing something you love
number five physical confidence physical confidence often translates into psychological
confidence so if you want to trick yourself into being confident make sure you look the part the
way you dress the way you style your hair the time you spend getting ready all of these things can
dramatically affect your mindset because exterior confidence opens the door for interior confidence
in other words if you're happy with the way you look you're more likely to act like yourself
but let's get one thing straight the goal of this technique is not to impress other people
you're not changing the way you dress so that other people will envy or admire you
if that's your goal you're not drawing confidence from your own personal satisfaction instead you're
relying on shallow external rewards and those rarely ever inspire confidence in the long run
so spend time on your appearance because you like the way you look change the way
you dress because it makes you happy just do it for yourself and a lasting confidence will follow
number six channel your talents your memory can help you rediscover confidence from your past
before you enter an uncomfortable situation just take a few moments for yourself
sit somewhere quiet close your eyes and think back on the most important moment
in your life revisit the memories in which you felt confident powerful or inspired think about
your achievements the accomplishments you're proud of the obstacles that you've overcome
picture those moments as vividly as you can and remember all the hard work you invested
in each of those achievements after revisiting empowering and inspiring memories those memories
change your mental state you'll find yourself operating with more confidence than ever
when you're feeling nervous you may forget all the reasons why you deserve to feel confident you get
so wrapped up with stress and anxiety that your achievements just fall by the wayside and that's
why it's so important to use these quiet moments to revisit those memories and re-inspire yourself
you have plenty of great reasons to feel confident in yourself all you have to do is remember
number seven overcome your failures how often do you think about past mistakes do you lie awake at
night stewing over each one of your failures for many people this bad habit is surprisingly routine
they consistently remind themselves why and how they failed but this negative pattern can destroy
your confidence so how can your failure create confidence how do past mistakes trick your brain
into performing even better to take advantage of this trick you have to change the way you think
about failure failure is not a reason to feel stressed or nervous failure is a reason to feel
empowered to feel confident because each time you fail you're learning something new you're moving
one step closer to accomplishing your goal yeah so it didn't work out last time yep you made mistakes
but those mistakes led you here and will help you perform even better the next time around
just think about each failure as one step in the right direction and use those lessons to
inspire confidence moving forward number eight change your breath sometimes a few breaths can
transform your attitude you may feel swept up in your own negativity you may not realize
that you're drowning in stress and anxiety but a small change of pace can snap you back to reality
there's no right or wrong way to change your breathing the only thing that matters
is the change itself so instead of breathing unconsciously take a moment to focus on your
breath breathe long and deep hold your breath for five or ten second intervals
take a few short breaths and then a few long ones any combination works because changing your breath
resets your mental state it provides an escape from destructive ideas and negative patterns
a change in breathing reminds you that everything is under control that you can accomplish anything
that you set your mind to so if you're feeling overwhelmed just breathe breathe intentionally
and deeply you'll find yourself wielding a new sense of confidence hey thank you
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