(quaint jazz music)
- We all have for you pages that have the algorithm
serving us that sweet, sweet content
that it thinks we're gonna like.
So we're gonna go through our for you pages today.
I'm here with Noah and Chanse and Angela and now,
let's just start with my feed, Courtney.
Let's just jump right in.
Okay.
(somber piano music)
What is happening?
- What?
- I definitely get served that kind of content all the time.
You guys ever get the unironic, elderly TikToks?
- They just like Doja Cat?
- Hashtag Doja Cat.
- Is this about the mug?
- [Courtney] I don't know.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Any ladies feeling like this tonight?
- [Noah] Yeah.
- Maybe they're referring to like anyone feeling
like this tonight.
Like maybe he's trying to feel out for somebody.
- Like sexy?
- Yeah, but also on TikTok, if you put a hashtag on the--
- [Chanse] Yeah. Right.
- text, it doesn't do anything.
- [Chanse] No.
Wow.
You do love cats.
- I love cartoon sounds and cats.
This is 100, the algorithm is serving today.
This is basically occupying my brain every morning,
making sure my cats are fed,
and just Tom and Jerry sounds.
- So you stop for that.
You watch that whole thing.
- [Courtney] Yes.
- Love it.
- [Courtney] Yeah.
- Love it.
- And I love that they leave space for me to laugh
in between each cartoon.
- A lot of space.
A lot of space.
(Courtney imitates sound effects)
- Yeah, they give you all the room.
- [Narration In Video] So, first of all,
let me assert my firm belief
that the only thing we have to fear is
fear itself.
- What in the hell?
- Courtney?
- [Courtney] No. No.
- What led us here?
- See, I think this is one of those ones where
I was brushing my teeth when I was scrolling through TikTok,
so I accidentally left a weird one on loop.
- Yeah.
- The biggest mistake you could make.
- So the algorithm thinks that that's what I'm into,
but I am not.
- The black jabbawocky man.
- [Courtney] Yeah, it's a little weird.
- Yeah, he's going solo.
- [Chanse] Very strange.
- It's a little weird though.
Was that Fortnite dances?
- [Chanse] Yeah.
- I do love a silly Fortnite dance.
- I think we're just missing a drop.
- [Courtney] Yeah. - Yeah.
- Right at the end of it.
- A beat. - A beat.
- Or maybe a shot?
- A melody?
- [Courtney] Yeah.
- Some music.
- [Courtney And Angela] Yeah.
- [Courtney] And also--
- Something felt very like he was dancing kinda?
- Yeah.
It was like in between dancing and like-- - Standing.
- Exercise.
- [Angela] Yeah.
- Like yoga poses.
- Maybe that was the best this jabbawocky could do.
- [Courtney] Yeah.
- [Angela] I guess.
- Who made this TikTok--Shane?
- Happy thirsty Thursday.
I spilled mimosa all over my dress and then I cleaned it up.
Follow me for more updates.
Love you, bestie.
- Yeah.
- Hell yeah.
Oh God, love it.
We love the gulping at the end.
Wow. Well, we all love, we all have seen this lady, right?
- Yeah. Hundred percent.
- Izzy rocks, right?
- [Noah And Chanse] Mhm.
She's awesome.
Yeah, I do get served these.
This is, this is just the normal feed.
- I love people that treat their TikToks
like they're close friends.
- [Courtney And Angela] Yes.
- You know, like they're updating you on everything.
- [Courtney] Yeah.
- And here's what she said today and I'm like, oh, go in.
You can follow the drama.
- [Courtney And Angela] Oh, yeah.
- You scroll back, yeah.
- Yeah. No, those creators are the best.
Best of the best.
All right.
Angela, you ready?
- Angela?
- Okay, I'm embarrassed.
I can't wait.
Here we go.
Here's the first one.
(heavy electronic music)
- As an alpha male, someone who wakes up
at 4:00 AM every day and takes a cold shower,
I will settle for no less than a 10.
If she farts, that's beta.
That's a low value female.
No, thank you.
- Oh,
my god.
- Angela.
- It's giving Andrew Tate.
- No, no, no. This guy's got hair.
- [Courtney] Just like like one of those funny Italians.
- This one of those funny Italians.
I love these funny Italian guys.
And with the ones that you can't tell
if they're being serious or not.
I probably shouldn't pay them attention,
but this stuff does come up, yeah.
- [Courtney] Okay.
- It's that POV I care about.
What does the world look like through their eyes?
- Do you click on their profile to see
if they're being ironic or not?
- I think occasionally.
- [Chanse] Or you just scroll?
- Sometimes, depends.
- [Courtney] I love lurking. - Yeah.
- [Chanse] Yeah.
- A little lurk.
Let's go to the next one.
(heavy upbeat electronic music)
- Toothbrushing, it's low value.
Tigers don't do it, so any woman that does it
is also low value.
Think on that.
- Okay.
So this is really like,
a bunch of people talking (bleep) about women.
And that is not my for you page, okay.
It isn't.
- This is what's coming up.
- It's what the algorithm's sending.
- Okay. I don't know what I,
I don't know how to defend myself
because these are probably being funny.
Yeah, it's a hot take, okay?
Let's go to the next one and hope to God
it's a woman talking.
- [Chanse] Oh no.
(hip hop music)
- You know, if you don't drive a Lamborghini,
that's on you, bro.
You're poor and you suck and I'm rich and you suck.
And I'm gonna, I'm gonna have sex with your girl.
That's on God.
No cap, ass.
- "No cap, ass."
- This is so (bleep) up.
I have so much toxic masculinity.
- Oh, my god.
- Okay. I, I didn't, I did not think
these would all come up like that.
But yeah, this comes up.
I love men doing podcasts.
I love male podcasts TikToks.
- This is one of those days when the algorithm is
like trying something new for you.
- Yeah.
- Where it's like, you like this?
And you're, you just have to like hit not interested.
- I think a common thread with these is like,
is this a serious thing?
Is this man being serious--
- [Courtney] Is this guy for real?
- Or is this a joke?
- Yeah, yeah.
- He seems extremely serious
and extremely owns a YouTube channel.
- Yeah.
This guy makes a lot of money, I bet.
- [Courtney] Yeah, I bet.
- On his podcast a lot. - [Courtney] Yeah.
Okay, we'll go to the next one.
(intense dubstep music)
Okay. This is--
- Who is that?
- You guys know Dhar Mann?
- [Courtney] That's not Dhar Mann.
- That was, that's Dhar Mann?
- [Angela] Yes, it is.
- That's Dhar Mann?
- That was Dhar Mann. - What's Dhar Mann?
- Wow. He cleans up.
- Of course there's a Dhar Mann fan cam edit
in a video Ian's directing.
- Wow.
- Yes.
I was telling some people,
me and my friends have fallen into watching Dhar Mann
and getting really high and watching Dhar Mann.
- What is Dhar Mann?
- Oh, my God. - [Noah] You don't know?
- Dhar Mann's videos.
You're gonna like, this guy is mean to this girl who,
jokes on you, she has a really hard life
and you should feel bad.
- Yeah.
Girl with acne gets bullied.
What happens will shock you.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Lawyer gives homeless man $5.
The end will shock you.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, so he's all over my for you page.
- All right.
- Okay. I feel very seen, embarrassed, and I hate myself.
Thanks.
(Chanse, Courtney, and Noah cheer)
- [Chanse] So Noah, what do you thinks
gonna be on your for you page?
- What do I think is gonna be on my for you page?
You know what?
Maybe it'll be like weird.
Oh, like someone who like thinks they're really smart.
So someone who like dropped out of college, maybe,
and is now trying to teach us how to like better ourselves.
Maybe like weird history.
Like did you know that in 1942,
the US government sprayed everyone with--
- [Chanse] Right.
- Aluminum?
Oh. Maybe like a chef who makes really plain things.
- That's definitely your, that's your jam.
- Okay, so boring chef, history.
What a for you page, I can't wait.
- Can't wait.
- Can't wait to see.
- All right, let's check out the first video.
- Put a finger down if you crashed through the floor
in a Spencer's Gifts and landed in the basement
with all the brooms and mops.
- What?
- [Courtney] And that's the video.
- Crashed through the,
I didn't even know Spencer's had basements.
- Spencer's has everything.
- Yes. Spencer's got a lot of things.
Spencer's got a special basement.
Everyone's been there.
One of my favorite things to watch on TikTok
is people I can laugh at, makes me feel better about myself
and yeah, one of my favorite creators.
If no one knows what a Spencer's Gifts is,
if you go to like any mall,
it's kind of like the, more edgy than a Hot Topic.
It's like in the back you can find like weird sex toys.
In the front, you can find like anime stuff.
- [Courtney] Yeah, so true.
- Spencer's Gifts had sex toys?
- It does.
- Like, not actual.
It'd be like, like Shrek with a fat ass.
- No, they have full on vibrators.
- Yeah, they have full on things.
- A wall of vibrators. - [Chanse] Wait, really?
- Yeah.
You just didn't walk further in. - At Spencer's?
- [Noah] You just keep walking.
- Not my Spencer's.
- Definitely not in my Spencer's in my mind.
- Not in your Christian Spencer's?
- Yeah, not in my Christian Spencer's.
- Oh, anywhere, anywhere.
- Not my Spencer's.
- Let's check out the next video.
(bright lively electronic music)
- [Angela] What is happening?
- [Chanse] Yes.
- How often do you go to Spencer's Gifts?
- You know what?
According to my for you page, daily.
- Yeah. It must have heard you say,
or were you talking to Spencer that we work with?
- About gifts to get.
- [Courtney] Yeah, maybe.
- Yeah. Yeah.
That's what, that's what happened.
I really love this video, this creator.
It's a well known creator.
- [Courtney] She's a Crocs model.
- [Angela] I love her stuff.
- [Courtney] Yeah.
- Yeah, right.
She often, she makes those videos where she points to text.
But she points a couple of times.
- [Chanse] Right.
- Because it's a fake out move.
- [Chanse] Right. - Yeah.
- So, you know, you don't know which time
is gonna be when the text comes.
It's pretty fun.
- Yeah.
- Right.
- That's, it's such a funny joke on the pointing.
- It's a reinvention on kind of TikTok content.
- [Courtney] Yeah. Let's be real.
Noah, have you fallen through the floor
of a Spencer's Gifts?
- Yeah, what's happening?
- All the, the brooms and mops?
Is that what happened?
- I have a feeling the next video will tell us the answer.
- [TikTok Creator] If this came up on your for you page,
these cards were designed for you.
- Oh, perfect.
- [TikTok Creator] This means you're gonna fall
through the floor of a Spencer's Gifts
and crash into the basement
with all the brooms and mops.
- Oh.
Oh.
- Question answered.
Pulled the devil card and then let me know
that I'm gonna fall through a Spencer's Gifts.
- So you're going to.
- It's gonna happen.
- You do have Spencer's Gifts vibes.
- Yeah? Going on. Like I work there or I shop there?
- [Chanse] Both. - [Angela] Both.
- A little bit of both? - [Courtney] Both.
- Yeah, I waited until I was manager
for the better discount.
- Smart.
- Yeah.
- [TikTok Narrator] The mall slasher had a specific way
of capturing and killing his victims.
They set a trap in a Spencer's Gifts
and they crashed through the floor
into the basement with all the brooms and mops.
We were able to uncover a photo
of them caught on security cam.
- Whoa.
You were, you were getting the true crime TikTok.
- I was, yeah.
But only about the Spencer's Gifts.
- [Courtney] Yeah.
- That's what it is.
I like true crime if it's very, very unique.
- Yeah.
- Just the oddest true crime.
- Who's that sexy makeup artist?
- I don't know.
This is one of my favorite creators.
She does these all the time.
She does makeup videos and talks about weird deaths.
- Yeah. Well, I just want you to be careful
whenever you go near a Spencer's Gifts, okay?
- From here on out, I'm gonna hire a shopper
through an app to go and get my dildos.
- Yeah. Smart.
Very smart.
- Yeah. Get your dildos somewhere else.
- I, I'm very familiar with my for you page.
Like I know exact, it's very curated for me.
I'll see like drama, like school drama or like work drama,
like people yelling at each other like in the workplace.
- Okay.
- I love that (bleep).
- Like right before a fight happens?
- Yes, right before a fight.
Or like what the aftermath,
like when some people start filming they're like,
"Oh, this bitch is trying to start some drama."
- Yes, yes, yes.
- I'm in a lot of voguing content.
- Oh. Balls
- A lot of ball content because that's also,
there's a lot of fights at balls too.
- Love it all.
Okay, let's see it.
- Hey everyone, it's your favorite TikTok vampire,
and I wanted to invite you to my birthday party this weekend
because I'm turning 201 eleven years old.
Also, I love Marvell movies.
You may be wondering,
why does a vampire like me enjoy Marvell movies?
Well, that's because they're cool as (bleep).
- Oh, my God.
- I'm a big Marvel head, what can I say?
- You are.
- I am a big Marvel head and since Blade is coming up,
and the Black Knight was just in Eternals,
like we have a lot of vampire content coming up.
So I'm trying to get on ahead of it before.
- Smart.
- Hey, smash or pass?
- Pass.
- Excuse me. Smash or pass?
- Pass.
- Excuse me. Smash or pass?
- Oh yeah, smash.
I like desperate looking guys.
- It's, so a lot of the fan edits are on my page
and so I like stalk myself
and find the ones that like really like to tear me apart.
- Those are the real fan edits.
- Those are the real ones 'cause how am I gonna learn
if you're not tearing me apart? - [Courtney] Yes.
How am I gonna--
- Right.
- If it's all positive, you gotta go in and find the ones.
- If you didn't have this, how else are you gonna learn?
- Yes. Thank you.
- So true.
- I'm trying to get better. - [Courtney] So true.
- I'm trying to get better.
- That was rough.
- I'm finding like the generic white guys
who don't want to smash me.
- [Courtney] Yeah, yeah.
- [Chanse] Right.
- You put those on loops
so you know your algorithm, give me more.
- Right. Give me more, give me more.
- [Courtney] Give me more.
- O, house of Aaron, trust in the Lord.
He is their help and their shield.
He that fear the Lord, trust in the Lord, he is their help.
- Wow.
- What?
- You're getting some priest ASMR?
- [Noah] What's that about?
- Well, it's just when it's hard to listen to.
It's so I need it whispered to me.
- [Courtney] The Bible?
- Yeah. I like to learn.
I like to learn more.
Cause I'm so familiar with it already.
I almost had a Bible minor in college and so
I like to learn more to weaponize myself against those.
- Nice.
- See, ChristianTok.
- ChristianTok.
Christian ASMRTok.
- It's good balance, right. - [Angela] Christian ASMR, yeah.
- It's good balance cause vampires,
they're not very Christian.
- No. You literally hold a Bible up to them, they go,
(Courtney imitates sizzling)
- Yeah, right.
- So make sense.
- What a mix.
You have people talking (bleep) about you,
and now we're at first Corinthians. - [Courtney] Yeah.
This is bizarre.
- I love that someone else is holding up the Bible.
- [Chanse] Right.
- To read.
- [Chanse] Huge Bible.
And so we have one more video from me.
- One more.
- [Man In TikTok] Rating spaghetti sounds. Bucca di beppo.
Three out of ten.
Olive Garden. Seven out of ten.
Old Spaghetti Factory.
One out of ten.
(lively instrumental music)
- This is my favorite TikTok I've ever seen.
- Wow.
It was like so off-putting,
but still made me hungry for spaghetti.
- Yeah.
And I'm a slut for a chain restaurant.
- Yeah, you're a sound guy.
You love ASMR.
- Yeah, you love the sounds.
I feel like we learned a lot about each other today
in a way that I really didn't want.
What do you think people would've thought
about your for you page?
- They would've thought I'm an awesome chick.
- Yeah. Not beta, alpha chick.
- No.
- I'm such a cool girl.
- [Courtney] Definitely not pick me energy.
- Well, that was my for you page,
but you know what's for you is these pins.
(Noah, Courtney, and Angela whoop)
- You can find them on Smosh.com, the dumpster wizard pin
and "My favorite YouTuber is dead" pin.
There's a limited number though,
so go now while you still can.
- [Courtney] Yep.
- Let us know who's for you page you want us to see next
in the comments please.
- Yeah.
- Bye bye.
(upbeat pop music)