Riverdale? More like river don't, am I right?
I'll just show myself out. You know I actually really liked Riverdale season 1, I mean, I know it's corny
It's cheesy, and it had its moments of whatever, but you know
I don't know, it just had this sense of like, it knew exactly what it was. It took the kind of cookie cutter teen drama
archetype and it just ran with it.
Now I actually made a video about all that, if you're interested – link below
But Alex aren't you like old and stuff? Why do you even care about a show like Riverdale?
Well, kids, time for a little PSA. In this world,
there's three kinds of people: some people are sixteen going on seventeen
Some people are sixteen going on 21 and some people are 29 going on 12, but yeah,
Riverdale season two. I don't even, like how do you-- it's like they just took everything that made season one any good at all and
And just threw it in the trash. Now, I'll be honest here
I couldn't even get past like three episodes
Because as each episode went on, I kept thinking about how every minute I spend watching this show is one minute of my life
I'll never get back. So I might as well just cut my losses. Now instead of me
Just telling you why I think wherever Riverdale season 2 is so bad,
I think it's better if I show you. Come along with me kids
Let's go! Now to catch you up to speed on season 1
Cheryl's brother was murdered and turns out it was their dad the whole time.
Cheryl burned her house down and tried to drown herself in a lake
But Archie and pals came along and saved her. Now later Archie and his dad are in the only
restaurant in town apparently and someone comes in and shoots Archie's dad and then season 2 starts
So you can understand my excitement for season 2, right?
I mean boom right out the gate Archie drives his dad to the hospital. Music is tense emotions are high
I'm into it. Back at Betty's house, Betty and her mom are having the weirdest conversation and
And then Jughead and I went back to FP's trailer
Oh, Betty, if that Beanie wearing Cat defiled you at least please tell me that you were safe.
What? No mom we didn't. I mean, we almost did.
What? Who talks to their mom like that? Well, hey honey, how was your day
Oh, you know hung out with friends had dinner almost got filled out like an application in a trailer outside town
Why would you tell your mom any of that.
By those thugs? See I knew that Jughead was gonna follow in FP's criminal footsteps
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree especially not when there's a snake curled up in its limbs
What
If thats Snake Plissken I want him blocked, now for those of you
Who aren't like you know forty, Snake Plissken is a reference to the movie Escape from New York starring, Kurt Russell
You know because all the 15 year olds watching this show are totally gonna get that reference.
So then we cut away and were reintroduced to Veronica who also has just the weirdest conversation with her mom
What is that?
A Chocolate almond croissant, from Bean and Beluga
Unfortunately, I only have the one. The other thing Veronica? Oh this
A Mimosa, there's a bottle of champagne in the fridge just begging to be popped. That was a bottle of Cristal for your father
Okay, okay, okay?
You see you're what 15 16 year old daughter drinking a mimosa for breakfast and your first concern is um
That was for your father how about we focus on the fact that oh?
I don't know your 16 year old daughter is drinking a mimosa for breakfast
There's a running theme on this show that all the kids act like they're like you know 25
And all the adults are like 12 like I said three types of people everyone goes down to the hospital after they hear about
Archie's dad and we have a little heart-to-heart talk
Are you kidding me? You saved your dad's life
First Cheryl and now your dad. If you keep this up you're gonna need a superhero name
Pure heart the powerful. I'm sorry pure heart the powerful
Jughead I don't know I don't know how to tell you this, but that's that's not a superhero
That's a Care Bear. Archie heads home with Veronica to take a shower
And then this happens for some reason. Now back in the hospital Betty and Kevin are talking and Kevin asks the really important questions
But if we weren't, so focused on his well-being I'd be asking if you ain't- We did it
Jughead and I didn't do it. Okay, so this is Kevin Betty's friend
I want to focus on Kevin for a second Kevin is gay
I'm gonna skip ahead in the story here just for a little bit in Episode three
They focus on Kevin and how he has to cruise for dudes in a dark forest at night and when Betty tells him that hooking
Up with random dudes in the middle of the night in a forest
That's straight out of the Dark Crystal might not be the best idea. He goes on this very personal monologue
You act like we've got the same set of options, but we don't.
You live in this pale pink world of Milkshakes and first kisses and am I gonna date Archie or Jughead
Except for when she's dark Betty.
Right right right? Except for when you're exploring your BDSM sexuality, which again you're allowed to do. But I'm not. Because why
This is what I've got Betty me these woods.
Very touching except it doesn't make any sense at all.
In season one Kevin is openly dating a guy named Joaquin who just happens to be one of the the serpents in the show they make it
Abundantly clear that no one cares that he's gay. Even his tough as nails police chief dad is like: "What's that?You're gay?
All right
No one in all of Riverdale, not the school, not the town
Nobody cared that Kevin was gay or that he was dating anyone or any man. No no one cares and then all of a sudden
Season two, I guess Riverdale
just turns into Saudi Arabia, and Kevin's like I can't live my life like you guys do this is all I get because I'm
GAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!
What the heck
Anyway back in episode 1 at the hospital. Cheryl shows up like this and once she hears that Archie's dad's in the hospital
She thinks that this is apparently a good idea
you know cuz that's not totally creepy. Now Jughead and Betty go back to the diner and look for Archie's dad's wallet and they get
Treated to this bundle of rainbows and sunshine
Over the years this place has been robbed many times bricks through the windows even during the riots
I've looked plenty of thugs in the eye
this man
His goal was something else
Darker
It's like the angel of death has come to Riverdale
Jeez pop, lighten up. You sound like the cranky old guy in the Friday the 13th movies
Now this line from Jughead might not seem like a big deal
But whoever wrote season 2 really wanted people to know that Jughead really likes movies. He doesn't just like them
He has to reference them every three sentences
You're the one that looks like a dream warrior from Nightmare on Elm Street Three.
You get it? He likes movies.
I'll make you an offer you couldn't refuse
Do you get it yet?
Don't stop him. Archie going Travis Bickle is my favorite Archie yet.
He likes movies you get it kids. Now at the end of the episode surprise Veronica's dad's back
And the show really wants you to know that this is really important
By the way
In case either of you were wondering, Mr. Andrews woke up
Aw, gee you think he might be the bad guy? Anyway, I could go on and I like the whole jingle-jangle nonsense
What is that some kind of Tim Allen thing but I think I'll stop right here. Like I said season 1 was definitely cheesy
But there was always this sense of like yeah, we know it's kind of dumb guys
But season 2 they just started taking themselves way too seriously, and it's gone from fun ridiculous
to just regular ridiculous or something.
Hey everybody thanks for watching. This is my first attempt at a video like this. Obviously, as I'm sure it shows.
You know I always wanted to do animation or to be like a animator
And I kind of do with like my motion graphic video essays.
Videos that I mainly do
But I wanted to try something else. Like something where I could kind of go back to my older style of video where it's a
Lot of like jokes and stuff, but without going all the way back
I still want to do something different something that like
Took effort and like something I needed to work at and so for me
This was kind of a happy medium where I can still
Do the same type of videos that I used to do just in like a more unique or like a better way
I guess I mean I've been a huge fan of people like of course TheOdd1sOut and Jaiden Animations and and people like that
for like a while
And I always wanted to try animation since I was a kid I wanted to be an animator this was a really fun
experiment you know let me know on Twitter if you guys liked it if you want to see more of this type of stuff because
It is it's fun to make, it's tedious.
Let me tell you. quite tedious, but it is really fun to make. Anyway, so I hope you liked it
and I hope you know it made you laugh a little bit anyway subscribe follow me on Twitter and all that and
I'll see you next time with a new video