Hello everybody! MY name is Markiplier
and welcome to 'Netflix and Chill: The Game!'
Now believe it or not, I've never done this 'Netflix and Chill' thing (Suuure..)
so I have no idea what it means.
But I've heard that it has to do with the ladies
Or the men, if you bring them back for Netflix and Chill
I don't know what happens
BUT I'm an EXPERT at it!
Because I'm an expert at romancin'
I played Huniepop!
Which means that I know how to "seducenate"
Okay, anyway
Alright, let's get into it
So, this game
ahhhhhh
*Intense shrugging*
I don't know
I-I uhh, it was recommended by you guys
OOOOooooOOO
The music is very good
Why do I have a garage door in my living room?
That's literally like [cough]
That's a loading dock-
Hello!
Hi, how's it going? How are you doing?
Am I seducing you?
'Oh boy, my Tinder date will be here super soon. Man, hope it goes well.'
Oh!
I know what I'm s'posed to do!
I'm supposed to help this guy get laid!
I can do just that
'Just need to set up a few things'
Oh you know: booze... A bag over my head cuz I'm
horrendously ugly
Alright.
What've we got?
'Alright! Netflix is a go, now all we need is the chill'
Well, let me put on my suave shirt
And get on my Axe body spray
So that I can smell up this whole place
What're we doing?
That is a big-ass lamp.
That lamp's bigger than you are!
What?
HUH?
'Chill-ustrious.'
[doorbell rings]
What did I do?
HI!
I'M SO SEXY!
My date's here, I can't wait to say hi to her!
'Does my hair look good?'
Pfft! Does it ever NOT look good?
'Do I have something in my teeth?'
Yeah, teeth! Lets go.
'Oh yea, I don't have teeth.'
Oh, gross. God!
This guy doesn't even have a FACE.
'Here goes nothing.'
...Goddamn right...
Why... why... I-I-If this is the first time you're dating this girl, why is she coming over to your house?
That seems very strange...
Usually you'd go out to a nice restaurant or something?
Oh I'm supposed to do this, okay.
HI! How's it going?
You look lovely Ms. No-Face!
HI!
Hello!
Oh, this is weird.
Hug, shake, HIGH FIVE!
YEEEEEEAAAAH!
BAM!
Come on!
Don't leave me hangin'!
Up top!
Yeah!
Alright.
'Were you talking to yourself a moment ago?'
I always do, is that a problem?
Yeah, absolutely!
So what if I was? You got a problem with that?
Don't mess with me! I know how to live my life.
'Woah, no need to get defensive.'
Uh, I get defensive at all times.
I'm not getting defensive, what are you talking about? Screw you, lady!
'Ahh, surrre. It's cool if you were though, I do it all the time.'
Oh, she's crazy too!
'Yup, not weird at all.'
'Well come on in!'
Alright... Just have a seat on my gigantic couch by my gigantic lamp.
Where we can watch Netflix and chill
So what are we watching?
Ummmmm... Superhero!
That always... that always impresses the ladies, I suppose.
Let's see... 'Woah woah there, Jason. We only just met.'
'Let's get to know each other a bit before making a commitment like that.'
Oh... Okay.
I haven't been on a date in a while, sooo...
I don't know, living my reclusive life inside a industrial warehouse with a loading dock,
I often, you know, sometimes forget what it's like to actually talk to a woman.
'So, uhh, I just realized that with these movie dates, it's kind of hard to get to know a person, you know?'
'Couldn't agree more!'
'So what do you say we...
BANG! SEXY [Close? Clothes?]!
Ok, anyway. Move on to a little sumthun-
MMM YEAH! MOVE ON TO SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE INTERESTING...
[creepy laughter]
YEAH! LIKE WHAT?
I'll show you!
Oohh man...
'Make a move'
Yeah! Be bold! You gotta be bold!
Oh. 'You seem like a really gu- great guy, Jason... I just... don't know you that well yet.'
Let's see
Awww...
Well I don't wanna do that, that's just mean
Let's see, 'Withdraw but don't apologize'
Apologizing's for wimps!
Be bold about everything!
'Well, you never know if you don't try.'
'Heh, yea I guess you're right.'
'I have an idea! How about we...'
[Confused grunt]
...'Have a conversation'
Well that's usually,
An interesting strategy for dates. Not usually what I go about but,
Let's do that!
Sure, okay.
What about?
I dunno.
'Deep intellectual discussion about society'?
Well that sounds boring!
Uuhh, God dammit! 'Down with society'?
Hoho yeah! Get into politics on the first date
'Down with society!'
ANARCHY REINS! I'M GONNA GET LAID!
Uuhh
Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh
-f course!
'Society is great.'
'Why is it great?'
'You're quite the interviewer.'
'You're the one making all the bold statements.'
'Okay, society is great because...'
We're making progress 'n' shit, that's what we do as a people!
Okay?
Wow. Actually...
'Despite all the craziness in the news and the constant fear and gloom and doom it spits at us,'
'if you really look at the numbers, we're like at the best point in history.'
'I mean we have the lowest child mortality rate of all time, women have more rights than ever,'
'and so many people have internet access now.'
'I'd say it's actually a pretty great time to be alive.'
'Wow... very inspirational!'
I'm so turned on right now!
Not her, I'm talking about me.
Intellectual always gives me a 'brain boner'
'Hey, what do you say...'
'...play a game!'
'Okay! What do you have in mind?'
'Let's play truth or dare!'
Always a great game to play on the first date!
Because you want to make them as UNCOMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE
'What is this, 6th grade?'
C.
YOU CHICKEN?
HUH?!
LITTLE BABY GIRL!
Don't wanna admit her deepest darkest flaws?!
Aww come on, bring it on
Bring it on!
Okay.
[muttering] 'Works for me!'
Let's see, 'Jason, truth...or dare?'
Well I always like to go for truth first, because then it reveals my crushing insecurities.
'Okay, hotshot. Tell me, what do you think about me?'
Oh.
'YOU'RE A BABE!'
Uaaa! You're so fine!
You're a BABE!
Total babe, 100%
10 outta 10 babe levels
Ohoho yeah. I know how to talk to the ladies.
When it's a multiple choice question on all my dates
Which is what it has been...
For some STRANGE REASON
Not 'cause I only play dating simulators!
BUT I KNOW HOW T-
'What can I say, I like how it is...'
'You know... I like the things that are in front of my face.'
Yeah...
'Oh, don't be so modest. You're gorgeous.'
'Haha, okay, enough of that.'
'I think my ego is gonna explode out of my head if I get any more compliments.'
Haha! Woohoo!
Yeah, we might as well just explode outta these clothes huh?! Yeah!
Hehe, okay anyway...
'I'll do truth too, since you didn't step it up while you had the chance.'
OOHH I see how it is.
'That's cool. Okay, my question for you is...'
Let's see...
OOHH!
'What do you think of me!?'
Huh?! You asked ME that!
[grunt]
What do you think about me, BABE?
Huh?!
Oh no, she's leaning away!
'Oh, uhm. Yea, you seem like a really great guy, Ja-'
WELL GOD DAMMIT!
This is bullshit!
Alright fine! Whatever!
Pfft, never know if you don't try!
Fine, whatever.
AWWW WE'RE GONNA WATCH?!
WELL THIS IS CRAP!
THIS IS A LOAD OF BULLSHIT!
This date's almost over and we aren't even close to getting laid!
I mean chilling!
Jus' chilling... Nothing happens...
'It's about time I left'?!
What!? Wha- Oh!
OKAY BYE!
WHAT?!
'I have some laundry to do'?
No, c'mon!
C'mon!
Little bit? I'm so lonely!
The crushing emptiness of my industrial warehouse gets to me sometimes...
I'm very depressed...
[mumbles the game dialogue]
I'm not gonna 'sha-tay'.
Hey come on, babe
Let's see...
'I really like you!'
Even though I just met you...
'If you walk out the door, I probably won't see you again.'
'Sorry, Jason. I just don't feel the same way.'
'It's been fun. Have a good night.'
Goodbye...
'You too, Marta...'
Ok...
[Mark pretend-crying]
[pretend-crying continues]
I'M SO LONELY!!
[pretend-crying continues]
Okay anyway, 'The End'!
And then I lived out the rest of my days in total solitude
Not even another human being gave me the time of day, because I failed
The Netflix and Chill.
So this time, let's go bold!
We're gonna go 'dare'
Yeah!
Dare me!
Come ON!
'Glad to see you're not a wimp.'
Psh, would you be dating a wimp?
C'mon, I'm so strong and self confident
and definitely not crippled by insecurity...
'I dare you to...'
Uh-huh, what, yeah?
'Hold on, trying to think of a good one.'
Okay
'First thing that comes to mind...'
Any day now!
'I dare you to do your sexiest dance.'
Well! I'm good at that! I could...
I-I'll do my best!
'Haha, you're joking right?'
I'm not joking!
[Mark making jostled noises and shrieking] *headphones fall off mark *
That's... That's the patented Markiplier Mating Dance™
Everybody, write that one down for when you're at the club
Cranking it out...
[humming]
'Why would I be joking? What? You scared?'
Let's see...
'I don't wanna scare you'? Why would I scare you?!
Because of my amazing sexual abilities & danceness?
Let's see... Pshh, I ain't scared!
Let me show you!
Here we go!
Any day now!
Let's go!
Hammer time... Moo... Twerk! Okay! I'm good with that!
Oh yeah!
OH YEAH!
Oh Marky likes!
Ooh I wanna date this guy!
Oh yeah!
'You're so funny!'
I AM so funny! I'm really funny!
I'm a really funny guy.
'What can I say, but I was born this way?'
'Hah, hold the applause please.'
Ok, so that's good, I guess
I just need to remember to not make a move, because I just embarassed myself by twerking
in front of a girl I just met, because that's probably not... some, thing...
I should do on the first date... Anyway.
Okay.
What is...
Your deepest, darkest, secret?
Yes...
'What's your deepest, darkest secret?'
'Oh, gee, well that got intense pretty quickly.'
I mean what do you expect? I just twerked my buttocks off!
'Well? I'm waiting.'
'Haha okay...'
'When I was a little girl... I thought that Carrot Top was really hot.'
What??
'Wow. Okay, didn't expect that.'
Huh... That's a pretty dark secret.
'I don't know, he was so confident in his weird appearance. I thought that was sexy I guess.'
As a little girl?!
That's bizarre.
'Remind me not to ask any questions like that again.'
'You asked for it.'
'Ooh, this is a good part. Let's get back to the show.'
'Not fighting you there.'
Wha? What do you mean 'not fighting me there'?!
[Gibberish]
Have a good time!
I accept your love of Carrot Top!
It's okay...
I guess?!
[mutters "this is bullshit"]
'Hey, it's been nice, but I think it's about time I left.'
'What? So soon?'
Awwwwww!
[fake-emotionally] Stay a little longer!
[sad grunt]
[mutters "C"]
'I really like you...'
'Yeah... Maybe.'
Oh?
[gasp]
OH?
Ooooooh...
I'm going for the kiss!
Yeah! Meet me halfway!
YEAH!
ALRIGHT!
That's the chill part!
'Okay, I think I can stay a little while longer...'
Yeah!
We did it!
Yeeeah!
Everybody dance! [jostled noises]
[noises continue]
Okay! So I hope you all were taking notes, we'll have a test on the third Wednesday... [outro music fading in]
Of this month...
I will go on a date with each and every one of you individually to see if you can seduce me!
So thank you everybody so much for watching!
Maybe there is a secret easter egg ending in this game, I dunno.
You can play it through the link in the description below, as always,
and thank you everybody for watching!
And as always, I will see YOU..in the next video!
Buh-bye!
[audio from previous videos, outro music]