[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
Psst.
Come in here.
If you've learned anything from watching Momsplaining,
it's that moms need to take care of themselves, right?
You can't take care of the kid if you're not
taking care of yourself.
And I've said it before, I will say it again--
you have to put your mask on first.
And I did.
I think it was an exfoliating aloe one?
It doesn't matter.
But now, it's time to take a bath.
[THEME SONG] To all you moms out there, yeah, doing it right!
I am proud to say, this is our sixth season of Momsplaining.
We have talked to birthing experts.
We've talked about toddler tantrums, cracked nipples,
perineum stretching, vagina nicknames, vagina tearing,
vaginal recovery, a lot of things vagina, to be honest.
But there are a lot of things that we didn't show you,
because I guess we ran out of time?
Or mainly because they were too gross.
So today, I'm going to show you some of those things.
For instance, when I birthed some babies.
Push, push, push!
2, 3, push, 5, 6, 7.
When I was waiting to have my baby,
I was doing a lot of online shopping.
Oh, really?
And I was very grateful that I did not know my credit card
number offhand, because sometimes that epidural makes
you feel so good.
It's like, sky's the limit!
Above the crib, isn't that cute?
Let's put that in the cart.
Did you feel that one?
Yeah.
I do need to know if you're pushing.
She's pushing a little bit.
Yes.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.
Head's out.
[CHEERING]
[CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
She's beautiful.
And that was a really big head.
That was a big head.
It was a big, beautiful brain.
Phew!
I have seen some things.
[SAD MUSIC PLAYING]
Ryan Hansen and I showed you some wacky baby products,
but here's a little more of what happened that day.
Hi, I'm Kristen Bell, special guest star of the new show,
Ryan Hansen Solves Crimes On Television.
And here with me is the star star
of the new show, Ryan Solves--
[LAUGHING]
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
Right.
That's heavy.
Contestant number 1.
It's a baby.
Whoa.
You know what?
You don't need one of these unless you're
faking a pregnancy like a villain in a Lifetime movie.
This is for the guy to wear.
What?
First of all.
Just like this?
This is not right, is it?
[HIP HOP BEAT PLAYING]
Wow, wow, wow.
All right.
I take it back.
I really like it.
You want to make sure and point, because then the angle,
and then you could just dip it under here.
Do you see this?
This is piece of cake.
But remember--
Manscaping.
--there's a razor.
And you can't see.
I just really don't think you need--
Also, you're swollen up like a [BLEEP] damn baboon down there.
OK.
Do you know what I'm saying?
[NO SPEECH]
Oh, jeez.
That is fun for 3 minutes.
And then this is kind of cool being a guy,
because you're just like, I'm done.
And that's how long pregnancy lasts.
It's roughly around 3 to 4 minutes.
Fun fact about Ryan--
on my wedding day, I had to shoot a simulated sex
scene with him.
On my wedding day.
[WEDDING MARCH PLAYING]
I met some hilarious kids along the way.
I'm kind of dying to ask you a question--
am I the biggest celebrity you've ever met?
No.
No?
My dad's even bigger than you, and he's a celebrity.
My dad's--
Wow.
Way to keep me grounded, Maya.
He like them.
Do we have a translator?
[HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING]
Everybody's on the ground, everybody's krumping.
I like it.
Why don't you grab a Danish or a coffee or something?
Because we got this.
Yeah, we got it.
We'll take it from here.
Thank you so much.
We're about to take over.
Hello, everyone.
Did you guys come down the slide and come back to your seats?
Is that possible?
I thought it was not going to be this difficult.
You guys, we're doing a mommy and me class,
just not a me class.
We have some fun stuff to do with you guys over there.
Can you join us?
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
Whoo!
That was a day.
We never got them to sit down.
Thank God for editing.
Here's some more of what you didn't see.
Come on in, Andy.
Yeah, get that picture.
Get this photo.
Hey!
Oh [BLEEP]
[CREW LAUGHING]
They told me I'd get fired if I didn't do it.
They're all fired.
[CREW LAUGHING]
Let's see this guy.
Isn't he cute?
He is cute.
But you should just know, this is a lot cuter than what you're
going to get, because my second one came out
looking, honest to God, like a rotten cantaloupe.
So just be prepared.
And have you ever seen these videos where people just
cut the belly open, and then they
see if the baby crawls out, and then they're like,
my baby definitely crawled up and came right to my chest.
Yep I've seen them.
[NO SPEECH]
[LAUGHING]
That's what the universe thinks about that.
In the mood for a scratch?
Hey, sweets.
You have get right on it.
Tyler, Tyler.
Come on.
What does he think this is?
He doesn't know, he just likes to lick
anything and everything.
Tongue, tongue, tongue, tongue.
So I hope that Momsplaining has helped your parenting skills.
Or maybe taught you a new word you didn't know before,
like whale eye, or maneater, or baby cannon.
But mostly, I hope that you've learned
that the best resource for a mom is another mom.
And friends, you need pals, pals you can rely on.
Alexa, call Monica.
Hello?
Hi, can you--
Yep, be there with a rose in ten.
It takes a village.
Specifically, a village set on a winery.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]