How to overcome the generation gap? Part 2
This is very important as senior citizens, number 1: we remain centered.
We don't react to our “bahoo” (daughter-in law), or our son or daughter's behaviors, number 1.
2nd: don't feel insulted at all.
What is insult?
Some words coming out of somebody's mouth.
They are saying all that because they are so stressed.
The biggest problem is seniors feel insulted.
They feel hurt. You should not feel hurt and insulted.
Be like diamonds, you know diamond?
Even if you put it in the mud, it doesn't get spoiled.
If you just understand, they have become sick mentally.
Anyone who insults you know that they're not in their senses.
They're not sensitive.
Why they're not sensitive? Because they're stressed.
Any stressed person cannot be sensitive.
And this lack of sensitivity, they throw words like anything,
without even looking at the impact that the words are having.
One thing can I tell you: even your children have good intentions,
don't doubt their intentions.
They have respect for you, they have love for you.
Never question their respect or their love for you.
But if they say something, if you even your daughter in law say something,
don't take it to your heart as an insult.
I have one advice also for the “bahoos”, the daughter in laws, you know?
Win over your in laws with love and the sense of belongingness.
Every daughter has fought with her mother.
Between mother fights, you don't…. it doesn't really hit you.
But even if your mother in law says 1/10th of what your mother would have said,
you feel so upset. It just throws you off the balance.
My dear, your mother and your mother in law are of the same group, same age group.
They are of the same category.
So, the way you take your mother's comments.
You have fought with your mother and next day you go and sit with her.
In the same spirit if you behave with your mother in law,
you can make a difference at home.
This is very important, that can keep you going.
And it will also give a “sanskara” to coming generations.
If you're sitting and playing bridge, if you're playing cards all the time.
Waste of time my dear.
Time is eating you and you say you're killing time.
Time is killing you. Don't waste your time in playing bridge.
And all this useless stuff. Put your attention, focus in studying, in reading.
There is no end to it you know?
There are many things which are secondary, which is not so important.
Which can … which you can do away with it.
Those things you should do.
What’s some bigger issues, say, suppose your son or daughter
is taking a big loan which is very difficult,
you must advise that.
And if there are adamant, if they really want to do it,
tell them: “OK, look. These are the concerns about it, you think about it and you do it.”
Sometimes they don't listen to you, as children don't listen to you.
But you know they will listen to another uncle or aunt.
Some uncle or some aunt.
Then you call them, tell them, take their help also.
Tell them: “Look, my son is going on this investment, I feel it's very bad”.
Someone expert in that field, you call them "why don't you advise my son?"
He will take your advice better.
We have to influence the influencer of your children.
Other children have more influence on your children,
and other's parents have more influence on your children.
So you have to find, go through those.
This is very important.
You must cooperate. Will you cooperate? We will all do together something.
All of us in the family will do one activity together.
So when you convince people to get into a single activity,
it will be very good.
In the same way, everyone can join to cook something.
“OK, we're going to make salad”.
So, each person will cut one vegetable.
And you can have competition, who will get the fastest?
Without cutting your hand, your finger!
Who’ll get the fastest.
Let us make a salad.
Suppose there’s someone who has never cooked at home.
Tell them “Today is your duty, you cook”. We’ll all help you.
They will also like it, you know?
Why only the lady of the house should cook?
And the lady say: “No, I am not cooking”.
“Let the man cook that day”.
Ok she can stand, “ok you can cook, I am going to see what would you like to make?”
See, you can create some thrill in the house, in the family.
Even just few people in the family.
We can play around, we can make many, many things.
So, these are the ways that we can spend time together.
And we have energy to do what we want to do.
And we have sharpness of the mind. You know?
Our spirit is alive, all these benefits are there for us.