By the end of this video,
I'm gonna give you 5 rules for surviving
that relationship with a narcissist.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung
and I'm a narcissist negotiation expert
and I've helped millions of people through this channel
and thousands of people through my programs
and through my law practice.
Really actually help people
survive relationships with narcissists up close
and personal and up also help myself
survive relationships with narcissists
and it is my mission on this planet to help
you survive relationships
with narcissists
Not only survive,
but also thrive through those relationships
and get out of the
relationships and be powerful
and shift that dynamic as well.
So if you haven't subscribed to this channel,
make sure you do that now.
Subscribe and hit that notification bell.
I upload brand new videos every single day.
I also have all kinds of really cool things that
I'm doing because I'm so so committed to
helping you and make sure that you do that.
So let's get into the five rules for surviving relationships with narcissists.
Number one, if you are still in this relationship
and you are day to day going toe to toe with this person
whether it's a family member,
It is somebody that you work with,
somebody that you have to deal with on a regular basis.
Because that is what they wanna do.
They wanna trigger you.
They wanna suck you in.
They wanna get going with you.
They don't wanna have a
regular conversation with you.
They enjoy the process of watching you squirm
and manipulate you and have this thing
where they're sort of leading you around
and It's a sickness with them.
You know, you you can't just
have this normal conversation.
It's this thing that you get into.
You end up trying to explain yourself constantly or justify or defend yourself
constantly and so you almost have to
pretend like you're reporting the news
or become an observer of a conversation
you know.
I can see that you're upset.
I see that you are having a moment
and we can come back to this
when you are less upset or something
like that where you are almost
completely taking yourself out of the conversation
and you know they wanna
constantly attack you
and they know what triggers you.
Especially if you've been in a relationship
with them for a period of time,
a long period of time.
You're gonna say the things that
they know will trigger you.
You're horrible with money.
You're a terrible parent.
No one likes you.
Your family hates you. You know,
they'll say the things that they know are gonna
get you sucked into that thing with with them
and you're gonna wanna defend yourself
and don't take that bait because
then you're gonna get sucked into it.
So if you really wanna survive
your relationship with a narcissist,
just say, “you know I know that's how you feel.”
“I understand that that's your position.”
Don't explain.
Don't justify
and I do have a whole video by the way on
5 kick-ass comebacks to narcissist texts.
So if you're in a text conversation with them,
definitely check out that video as well.
Again, you know you're surviving
a relationship with a narcissist.
This is not an easy situation.
So, again difficult, but understand
that these people have a disorder.
It's something going on with their brain and you
can't take it personally what's going on there.
So there's a great book out there.
I've recommended it before.
We'll put a link to it below in the description.
Check it out.
It's called The Four Agreements.
It's four agreements you make with yourself
but one of the agreements is that
you never take anything personally
because the way people treat
other people is always a direct
reflection of the way they feel about themselves
and so you just you just can't take it personally,
hurt people, hurt people, right?
You know, I always think of wonder woman with bullets,
like, coming off of the the wrist there.
Just oh, okay yeah I understand.
You just can't take it personally
the way that they are acting.
Okay?
So that's number two.
So important to develop that
super strong support system
because you're really going to need it especially
you know, going forward.
Outside friends.
I mean, one of the things that narcissist do,
especially if in a personal
relationship with a narcissist.
you know, this person is your spouse or
you know the most important
person in your life.
They try to isolate you.
They try to say,
“you know, I'm the only one who loves you’’
or you know,
things like that or whatever.
Start really developing more of a
support system outside of that person have friends
or even psychologists,
therapists,
you know whoever it is that you can go to.
So that you can start developing a support
system outside of that narcissist.
I do have a video called
Self-care to cope with a narcissist
and I even have a whole playlist here on
all kinds of videos on self-care to cope with
narcissists definitely check out
the videos in that playlist
and check out my video on that as well.
Just put
“I CAN DO THIS!”
in the comments because you can just write I can do this.
Start that mantra start saying that to yourself
because you definitely can do this as well.
I do have a partnership with
betterhelp.com
if you need online therapy.
Okay?
So “I CAN DO THIS!”
Put that in the comments.
I want you to just say I can do this.
Alright.
If it's like a two minute thing that
makes you so happy every day,
whatever that is.
I mean, put on a song
and dance to it or sing out loud in the shower
or call somebody who makes you happy
or cook something or whatever it is,
but just find something every day
that just brings you joy and do that.
Find a few minutes every day to do
something that brings you joy in your heart.
Whatever that is people who have been
surviving relationship with narcissist.
You'll go the entire day and not have
done one single thing that brings you joy
And if you can just carve out
a few minutes a day for yourself,
to do something that brings you joy
that makes you so happy.
It will make the hugest difference in your life.
I'm telling you, you something every day
that brings you joy and makes you happy
anything
and number five, super important.
Even if it's gonna be ten years
from now or whatever it is.
I just interviewed somebody for a podcast,
which I'm going to be hearing here soon.
You know, he talked about how,
you know, he knew it was
gonna be ten years from then,
but he had read the book by Victor Frankl
and man search for meaning and how
you know, he knew.
You know, be years from now or whatever
but he knew that it was gonna be at some
point and he had made a decision that
you know, he could endure because at
some point there was gonna be an end.
So I want you to just start thinking about that.
I do have a free worksheet for you.
My crush my negotiation prep worksheet.
It's fifteen pages, totally free.
It's a fantastic ebook for you.
Go to get it at
winmynegotiation.com
Join my free private Facebook group
Naricissist negotiators with Rebecca Zung as well.
Lots and lots of people giving
each other support and there.
Make sure you subscribe to this channel as well.
Lots and lots of free advice every single day.
So make sure you subscribe.
Hit that notification bell.
As well, we're here for you
and thank you so much for joining me here today
and remember, today's a great day to
start negotiating your best life
and I will see you in the next video.