(crowd cheering and clapping)
- I am Big Mack, and I'm that dude.
We brought a chef, who ain't bring no food.
Where's the food? I'm hungry!
(crowd cheering and clapping)
My name Big Mack, and I feel great.
But when I dance, I cause earthquakes.
- Your topic is student loans.
(applause)
- [Woman] Oh!
(louder applause)
- Let's go Big Mack!
(bongo drums)
- Student loans. They won't go away.
January, February, March, April.
Damn Sally Mae, student loans, student loans.
I don't answer calls from scam lightly.
I shouldn't have to pay you back,
my job has nothing to do with my degree.
Student loans, student loans. What don't you understand?
I'll never have your money. Put me on the payment plan.
(applause)
(loud cheering)
- Moo. Moo. Moo.
(applause)
(hip-hop beat begins)
- Okay. Slow down, slow down!
Almost hurt my leg.
This morning, I woke up, got some eggs.
You can't even save me.
What she give me, don't call it a brainy.
Whatever is wakeful.
Oh I'm about to break. Ah!
(laughter)
(air horn sounds)
- All right, black squad, wild out.
- I take your credit cards and your social too.
I'm spending all your money on me,
but the bank think its you.
- A scammer.
(crowd cheering)
- Okay, give me Hitman Holla.
(applause)
Give me a Big Mack.
(Applause)
Hitman you ready?
- I'm ready.
- Big Mack, you ready?
- Yer.
- Boy you smell like breakfast.
(laughter)
- If you don't get your "I got so many bars in my head,
that's why hat don't fit" ass outta here.
- Boy, as a baby I bet your first words were,
"Are you gonna eat the rest of that?"
(laughter)
- If you don't get your "Where's my super suit?"
Looking ass outta here.
(cheering and laughter)
Where's my super suit!?
(crowd screaming)
- Give me Big Mack, I want you right here.
Give me Bobb'e J. I want Bobb'e J here.
(applause)
- Boy, you're built like a mother (beep)
trash bag full of garbage. (Beep) do you mean?
- If you don't get your goddamn
"my brother and me goo punch"
looking ass outta here.
- Aye, he got a mix tape coming out called
"Sorry for the wait"
(laughter)
- If you don't get your goddamn
"I'm sorry Martin, I'm sorry I lied to you"
(crowd screaming)
(crowd drowns out speaker)
- Out!
That was a good one.
- This is a hood proverb.
- What is, "Now I done brought you into this world,
and I can take you out?"
(laughter)
(crowd cheering)
- Damn, you okay?
- Oh no, I'm good. I didn't feel anything.
(applause, air horn sounds)
(laugher)
(beep)
- I have like five black friends. I'm good.
(Applause)
- I did this for my fat friend who couldn't run.
Yeah come on boy.
- What is, new year, new me. I'm hitting the gym.
Getting my body right for the summer.
(laughter)
- Damn, oh!
(laughter and applause)
- You good?
- What's up bro? You all right?
- (Beep) Getting up there before me.
- This my cousin, Ahmed.
I'm telling y'all we don't like your shirt.
- Plus he always selling B pods outside of the church.
- At the family reunion, who we introducing,
who we introducing?
- This is my sister, she just came home from doing time,
and I'm so glad she's here.
Give it up for Tekashi, the six nine.
- At the family reunion, who we introducing?
- These are my cousins, and you know what family's for?
They help you out in a jam.
Now can y'all please help me up off the floor.
- At the family reunion, who we introducing?
- I am a big guy, heavy handed without trying,
but at least with my cousins,
I can touch them and they won't go flying.
(laughter)
This has to stop!
What's up?
(laughter and applause)
(crowd cheering loudly)
(air horn sounds)
- The topic is the nineties.
- In the 90's, I was never bored.
Play Mario Kart on my N64.
- N64, that in first place.
You know I'm all that like just Keenan and Kel.
- Keenan and Kel, you never could stop me.
Before we had kids we had Tamagotchi.
- Don't know what that is, cause I am a boss.
I keep this play jumping like I'm Kris Kross.
- I'm Kris Kross, you know that do,
eat my Lunchables with my Dunkaroos.
- Dunkaroos, man that really go.
I'm a pimp. I'm a player. I'm a gigolo.
- A gigolo, you never could fail.
Everyone died playing Oregon Trail.
- The hell is a Oregon Trail?
(beep) (laughter)
- Next topic is countries.
(crowd singing and cheering)
- Talk about countries. You know, you can't hurt me.
Your favorite country. We know that it's Turkey.
- My favorite Turkey, Drake and me damager,
Kevin Bacon face must be from Canada.
- Must be from Canada. That wasn't funny.
Are you from Europe? Cause you're looking hungry.
- If I look hungry, I'm gonna eat a kids meal,
You? Mad face. Me? I is real.
(cheering)
- Your topic is being broke.
- What you eat when you're broke?
I used to search Google.
When I was in college, all I ate was noodles.
- Oodles and noodles, been eating since kids.
I pay my rent late, no food in my fridge.
- No food in your fridge? You my guy, but no food?
That is a lie.
- That ain't no lie. It's all how you handle it.
When you go broke, you eat syrup sandwiches.
- Syrup sandwiches, I ain't gonna be mean,
but you not eating is hard to believe.
- Hard to believe. When you broke, you cheat.
Aye, yo, brother. Let me hold something till next week.
(laughter)
- Oh yeah, ha, this is my game.
- Your word is ambidextrous.
- Okay. All right, hold on.
I think I should mentioned this.
I got diabetes, but I ain't stressing it.
Cause that free pot there? I'm gonna mess with it.
And I be eating with both hands, ambidextrous.
Ah, yeah!
(laughter)
- Aye yo, Nick Cannon is so fly.
- [Crowd] How fly is he?
- I invited him to the barbecue.
He brought a pan of chicken, mac and cheese,
mashed potatoes, and that was just for me.
- Fat facts, fat facts.
(cheering)
- Yeah. Sasha probably thought I was Mark Henry.
She got all excited. Hey Sasha.
They tried to put me in the same outfit as Yvng Swag.
Before I came out here.
Oh, you don't believe me.
(cheering)
- Wild out.
- Yeah. Nick, bruh.
I don't know if you know this,
but it's big guy season right now.
And Lizzo has inspired me to love my body.
So Nick, the longer you hold that water in,
the more clothes I'm gonna take off.
(cheering)
- Spit! Spit! He's in his draws!
(laughter, cheering)
- And the award goes to Jussie Smollett.
- Oh, okay. Ah. (chuckling)
I want to thank y'all for the,
"Right, what had happened was" award.
Ah, so many people I want to thank.
Oh I want to thank, Lee Daniels.
Though it all he never turned his back on me. Not once.
Not even when I asked him too,
he never turned his back on me. Not once.
And last but not least remember Jamal Lyon.
It's not who I am. It's what I do.
Shout out to Nigeria!
(applause)
- I'm the man of steel. Yeah. I'm your homie.
I don't eat beef unless there's Kobe.
I'm a cop.
But you got to understand before Will Smith was the genie,
I was Kazaam.
- Shaq!
(applause)
- Come on Big Mack!
I just took a DNA test,
found out all you skinny haters hate when I have my ass out.
But I love me so, truth hurts when you see me coming,
and I'm big, black, and beautiful, BBW.
- Oh, Lizzo! Yes!
- Black squad, wild out.
- Aye, yo, Atlanta turn up.
- [Crowd] Turn up for what?
- Me and Casanova went to Bern's restaurant.
I had got the chicken and mac and cheese.
Remember that? That banana pudding was popping.
They thought I was Ruben Studdard,
so I didn't have to pay for nothing!
(cheering)
- Go Ruben!
- (singing tune of the Wedding March)
- Hey, hey, hey baby.
I can't wait for dinner. You said you got a bun in the oven.
I'm about to, oh, that bun.
I guess we have to now. Right?
(buzzer sounds)
- I gotta return that.
(laughter, crowd singing tune of Wedding March)
- Hey, what's taking you so long.
I've been waiting. And why are you wearing that dress?
Oh, oh no, no, no, no.
When I said I couldn't wait to walk down the aisle with you.
I was talking about the supermarket.
You know it got all the deals. This ain't no ring box.
It got all my coupons. Look.
Hey, get changed. I'm gonna meet you in the car.
- We gotta tell the truth.
- [Cast] That waist trainer ain't working.
That waist trainer ain't working.
Feel your gut, gut, gut, gut , gut, gut.
Look at that body!
- These are the steps you got to follow,
if you wanna be an Instagram model.
- Mack come train with me,
cause you got more rolls than a bakery.
- Hold off. Ain't gonna lie. It finna get hectic.
She got mad cause I asked her was she pregnant. Hold off.
- Personal trainer? I don't need one.
I don't do pushups, but I eat them.
- That waist trainer ain't working.
That waist trainer ain't working.
We see your gut, gut, gut, gut, gut ,gut.
Look at that body!