Every now and then we get a story
that makes so little sense,
there's only one person who can help us figure it out.
So please welcome Ronny Chieng.
(cheering and applause)
Thanks, Trevor.
This is a golden age in America for con men.
From the Oval Office to the Oval Office,
they are everywhere.
But what I'm about to show you has got to be
the most elaborate con I've ever seen.
Televangelist Jesse Duplantis
is hoping to take the word of Jesus to new heights
with help from a $54 million private jet.
In a video posted to his website last week,
he asked his followers for help funding the aircraft.
We believe in God for a brand-new Falcon 7X
so we can go anywhere in the world, one stop.
This preacher needs a $54 million private jet?
Meanwhile, I once did a Kickstarter for a bus pass.
I only got 17 bucks and a coupon from my grandmother.
All right? Thanks for nothing, Pópo.
And if you think you hate this guy now,
just wait till you hear his sales pitch.
Now, some people believe
that preachers shouldn't have jets.
I really believe that preachers ought to have
and go on every available voice, every available outlet
to get this gospel preached to the world.
I really believe that if Jesus was physically
on the Earth today, he wouldn't be riding a donkey.
Think about that for a minute.
Yeah, I thought about it for an hour,
and it still doesn't make any sense.
And it wasted an hour, all right?
The donkey was a symbol of Jesus' humility.
It was the Toyota Camry of his time, all right?
And even if Jesus wouldn't be riding a donkey,
do you have to jump straight to private jet?
The gap between donkey and private jet
is all of transportation.
Okay?
I bet Jesus would be fine taking an Uber
or at least... or at least an UberXL,
just so he has space to stretch his arms out,
you know what I'm saying? Because...
Yeah, you know.
And you want to know the craziest thing
about Deacon Dollar Sign saying he needs his followers
to buy him a new private jet?
He already has a trinity of private planes.
I've owned three different jets in my life,
and I... and used 'em
and just burnin' 'em up for the Lord Jesus Christ.
This is the very first plane that I purchased for the Lord
back in December 1994.
Then the second one I-I purchased
was in January 2004.
The one I'm flying right now-- and I've been with...
it's been with me 12 years.
Now, people say, "My Lord, can't you go with this one?"
Yes, but I can't go at one stop.
Okay, wait, so you think the message of God
is really important
but only with no layovers.
"I need to save these people from hell
"as long as I don't have to stop over in Cleveland!
Please, God, no!"
And, Trevor, this is not just one guy, okay?
It turns out there's a whole offshoot
of American Christianity called the prosperity gospel.
REPORTER: Duplantis is among a group of televangelists
who preach that their wealth is God's will.
This preys upon the poorest people
that want and need money badly,
where they're told, if they give money,
God's gonna bless them a hundredfold.
REPORTER: Duplantis lives in a 35,000-square-foot mansion
tax-free.
Yo, this is the greatest scam ever, okay?
Jesus is a better tax haven than the Cayman Islands.
I'm gonna try that.
Yeah. Next time the IRS comes knocking,
I'm gonna tell them I'm not paying
because I make jokes for Jesus, okay?
Mazel tov.
And if you're buying the idea
that these pastors want to help the people,
just listen to how they feel about the people.
REPORTER: Fellow televangelist Kenneth Copeland
recently bought a $36 million Gulfstream V jet.
The two have commiserated about how they can't fly
or pray with commercial airline passengers.
The world is in such a shape, we can't get there without this.
-That's right. -We've got to have the... We would have...
The mess that the airlines are in today,
you can't manage that today,
-th-this dope-filled world, -Right. Right.
and get in an air... get in a long tube
with a bunch of demons.
"A long tube with a bunch of demons"?
That is...
not wrong, okay?
To be fair,
these guys might be con artists.
But now I get where they're coming from, okay?
Because I'm pretty sure if you look up "demon" in the Bible,
you'll see a guy spread out in the middle seat
eating a tuna sandwich with his shoes off.
In fact, getting in a long tube with a bunch of demons
is pretty much the slogan of Spirit Airlines.
Ronny Chieng, everybody!