So, that is the government building down there.
Which I... Look at the lighting on that.
It's one of the cleverest... Cos it looks like curtains.
JAMES: It looks like theatre curtains closing or opening.
Is that where the Prime Minister hangs out?
-No, no, don't, don't, don't. -He's not there?
No, don't call him Prime Minister.
Well, what is he, then?
Well, weirdly, I was reading the Financial Times.
And I've saved it. Hang on.
Mr Hun Sen, a ruler of 31 years,
who insists on being referred to as:
"Lord Prime Minister and Supreme Military Commander."
So, if you are referring to him, you must say,
"Lord Prime Minister and Supreme Military Commander."
His wife, Bun Rany, she is officially known as:
"Most glorious and upright person of genius."
I want to be called... In fact, I want--
Most glorious and upright person of genius.
I want you two to start calling me that.
After a bit more conversation, we went to bed.
Well, one of us did.
I've got paint, paint brushes,
and then I've got spray paint.
Where's the bicycles?
Oh, they're here. Thank you.
Thank you so much. Thank you very much.
I love to follow you.
JEREMY: The next morning, I fitted my new lavatory seat and air-conditioning unit.
James installed his drinks fridge.
And after Hammond had slipped into his new shirt...
we set off.
And immediately, it was hard to keep a straight face.
We have played jokes on one another before,
but I'm not sure we've ever pulled one as good as this.
From where Richard Hammond is standing,
he has no idea what James and I have done.
JEREMY OVER RADIO: Hey, guys?
This is the first time we've run under our own steam as a three.
RICHARD: Yeah, it feels good.
I'm not sure it feels that good, though, does it?
Do you know what might feel better?
(ENGINES REVVING)
JAMES: Thank you.
Very funny.
JEREMY: After a few miles, I turned off the Mekong
and asked Hammond to follow me to the town of Chau Doc.
And this time, when we arrived under the watchful gaze of yet more officials,
we were determined to park well.
Jeremy? You've now got my boat and I'm not on it!
JEREMY: What?
I'm not on it and it's no longer tied on!
- It's not tied on on that end? -No, it's come off!
-Why didn't you tie it on? -I thought I had!
Oh, for God's sake. Your boat's got free, Hammond.
I quickly picked up Richard so he could re-acquire his boat.
-(ALARM BLARES) -OK, that's that test concluded,
"Where would it go?" test. It went to there.
JEREMY: Yeah, exactly. So we now know--
That's the drift, we've established the drift, it goes that way.
Everything we need to know.
JEREMY: Finally, we managed to tie ourselves to some land.
And that is how we do that.
And it was at this point Hammond got the joke.
(RICHARD LAUGHS)
-I've just seen it! -What?
What you've done to my boat.
-Have I been... -Yes, all day.
-How have I not seen that? -You haven't seen it all day.
You've been through Cambodian customs, Vietnamese immigration,
-Vietnamese customs. -Oh, my God!
You've driven probably 100 miles down the Mekong.
-I waved at people. "Hi!" -The thing is, Hammond,
it's very bad luck to change the name of a boat.
Oh, God.