So, I'm going to do my best, not to ramble in today's video, but I want to kind of talk
about something. I want to touch base something that is kind of, kind of off topic here a
little bit. Maybe we could file it under mindset. I guess that would probably be the best way
to go about this video, but I just want to share something with you. It was regarding
a client that I worked with earlier this week. So first off, let me, let me start by saying
I am doing what I am most passionate about. I love career coaching. I absolutely love
it. I love it. When I can see that I've made a difference in somebody else's life, um,
you know, have helped them secure a position and I've helped him secure it faster than
had they not worked with me. And this is, this really is what just makes my day, but
I'm going to tell you a little bit of a secret here, and that is some days career coaching
absolutely sucks, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
And so let me, let me tell you a little story that happened this week. I'll share this with
you. So first off, if you are new to this channel, my name is Bill Benoist. I am a career
coach here in Silicon Valley. I primarily work with people in mid to late career, but
the videos are for everyone. And I wanted to share this one. Um, situation had happened
earlier this week. I've been working with this client really super great guy. I really
enjoy working with him and he's been kind of a long-term client little over two months,
um, which is really kind of coming to the end of this. But about a month ago, he was
in talks with a company up in San Francisco. That was looking really super good. And so
the time before last, so I'm talking about a meeting that we had just in the last week,
but the time before that, when we met, he said that they were moving very, very quickly
clay.
He had talked with the recruiter the day before our meeting and the recruiter said, we are
expecting to get an offer out to you either tomorrow or the next day. So as like I'm talking
with him and it was like, really, he's super, super excited. And I'm, I mean, I'm really
super excited for him too, because, you know, heck that offer could be coming in while we're
talking. I mean, it was just, he was just really geared up for it, but this is what
the recruiter was, was telling him. And the recruiter was, um, no, it was a third-party
recruiter. It wasn't an actually an internal recruiter, but he said that the company wanted
to move really quick, and they really liked him. He had gone through a number of interviews.
Now on top of this, this individual was also in the middle stages of interviewing with
one of the big fives here in Silicon Valley.
So the big fires, you know, we're going to talk about is apple, Facebook, Amazon, Google.
And I'm sorry, I can't remember what the other one is, but it's out there. And anyway, he
was, um, he was interviewing with, with one of the big four and he's, he was in the middle
of the rounds of this and he said, this was really going well for him too. These interviews
were really going well for him. So, we, you know, we finish our call. Okay. And I wish
them a lot of luck. And I say, you know, definitely let me know. You know, as soon as you hear
something. So we had another meeting this past week and I was, you know, the first thing
I did was I went and I checked the, uh, LinkedIn, his LinkedIn profile to see if he had updated.
If he had landed with, you know, this one position and it wasn't, you know, it wasn't
updated, but that didn't mean anything either.
I mean, some people will do that immediately. Others, you know, they, they kind of forget
about it, but we get on the phone and I could tell right away just by his facial expression,
just by his facial expression, he said they, uh, they didn't offer me the position at the
company. And I could just tell he was really super upset. I mean, he was, he was just in
this guy, so nice. And I just, I just, my heart just dropped. My heart just dropped
because I was, I mean, I was cheering for this guy. I was so happy for him. And when
he told me this, it was like, my heart had dropped. Like it had never dropped before,
because like I say, I, you know, really enjoyed working with this person. And he said, you
know, I just don't understand it. They, you know, the recruiter, you know, a month, month
and a half of interviewing and he gets a call, he didn't get a call.
He gets an email that made him this, that essentially it said that they've decided to
go in a different direction with us. And then he tells me, he says, but on the positive
side, which I was like, when people see the positive, he said the, uh, other interview,
the, um, is going really, really super well. In fact, the hiring manager called me yesterday
and he said, you know, we think you would actually be a better fit for now. Let me back
up a little bit. The hiring manager called him the week before. So it was like, you know,
a week after we had talked and he said, we think you would be a much better fit for this
other position. And I want to arrange another interview with you with someone. And they
did this on a Friday. So this is now the following, you know, Monday.
And he said, it went really super good, got along great on the zoom call. Everything's,
you know, moving forward. And I think this one is gonna, you know, come up us. So as
much as I'm so frustrated with what happened, you know, at the one company I have this one
going on and I asked him, I said, I, you know, I said, you know, this is really good. I says,
do you have anything else in the works though? Since we've, you know, we last spoke and he
says, why I've sent out my resume to a couple of places. And there's one that might, you
know, be on the horizon there, but nothing, nothing from, so we're talking a little bit.
And then all of a sudden, I just, I see this change of expression on his face. And he says,
Hm, I just heard it.
Literally the email he came in while we're on a zoom call. And he says, I just heard.
And they said no to this position as well. And I could, I could actually see the T years
welling up and his eyes. And yeah, there was just, there was nothing really that I could
say, you know, during this time, because I know that, I know he had to just get over
this, you know, get over this hurdle. He had to go through this, this period, this process
of grieving is hard as it was for me to see this. I could, I couldn't even imagine what
it was like for him, because he was now starting back to literally square one. He was, I mean,
he had these two companies that he had been working with for well over a month. And they
just, you know, they, they, they both abruptly fell through, you know, when I got off the
phone with him, I, uh, yeah, I couldn't even do anything.
I mean, it was literally it, I just had to go, go out and sit down outside on a bench
and just really kind of take as myself. And so what I'm saying is sometimes, you know,
just working as a career coach can suck, you know, because you really get into, um, you
know, you become part of this, but almost like a partnership with someone. So as bad
as it was, you know, for him, I actually felt it too. You know, I go back to something and
it's really difficult to, um, it, it, you, you cannot just start practicing this at the
moment that something happens. You have to practice this beforehand. And that is, you
may have heard of before. It's called the five minute rule. And again, when something
comes at you the first time around, that's really bad. You can't just sit there and say,
oh, I'm going to practice this five minute rule that bill talked about, but I'm going
to give you this rule.
And I want, you always keep it in mind. And so when the little things that don't go your
way, this is great to start practicing this rule. Because when things like this major
events happen and you've been practicing this for awhile, it will help you get over it.
But essentially, I want you to understand something. It just, these three words, just
these three where it's just keeping in mind, can't change. It, can't change it. You know
what, if you've been denied, a position been said no to a position that you thought was
going to happen. You can't change it. If you, you can change how you respond to something,
but you can't change what has happened. I want you to, that's a really important distinction.
There you get in a car accident, regardless of whose fault it is, you can't change it.
All you can do is change your reaction to it.
You know, somebody cuts you off. You can't change that, but you can change your reaction
and set a timer on your, your, um, smartphone for five minutes and sit there for the next
five minutes. Just feel it just kick and scream and shout and yell and do whatever you need
to do. You know, set yourself a time period there because you can't change it. You know,
so set yourself this, react to it. But then after that five minutes is over and this is
why they call it five minute rule, then start planning. What you're going to do. Next things
always are a lot easier said than done, but this is why I'm bringing this up to start
practicing this now, because these are the kind of tools and resources that you need
to keep in mind when you're in career transition. You're looking for another job because some
things like this happen, I can count on.
I need both hands to do this, to count the number of times where I've seen someone fully
believe that they are going to be being offered a position. And it's pulled at the last minute.
You don't know why it's pulled. I mean, you know, maybe you just rubbed somebody the wrong
way. Maybe they had an internal candidate. Maybe they simply pulled the position because
of funding. You don't know, right? You don't know you can't change what has happened in
the past, but you can react or you can change how you react to that. That's your choice.
That's your choice. So, anyway, this is what I wanted to talk about today. Um, you know,
I hope that you can take this resource, find it useful if you haven't already subscribed
to this channel, make sure that you do so hit the bell notification as a do upload new
career tips and strategies every Tuesday. And I'd hate for you to miss anything. Thanks
for stopping by. And I look forward to seeing you next week.