﻿Taylor: With Katy out of the way I started talking to John Mayer more and more.
One day, he asked me what day it was. It’s October 16th....... your birthday....1
month later we spoke again..... Mayer: I’m so drunk, i feel like im “Slow
dancing in a burnin room” Taylor: um same...
Taylor: But i wanted things to move faster, so i followed my instincts.
Taylor: Hey im totally lost, can you help me? John: Yeah sure
Taylor: but i wasn’t lost, i knew exactly what Ms. spears was talking about
John: Madonna released her album gold digger in 1860
Taylor: wrong Taylor: was that
the one with Aretha Franklin in it? John: yea they were like sisters
Taylor: also wrong Taylor: Ok thanks, I think I got it
now Taylor: It was the season of Winter in Los Angeles
California. Who knew they had snow here. Taylor: Things were going great for my speak now
album, I knew I had to get a photoshoot booked for the album cover, but I was still broke.
Luckily Perez told me Ms. Banks has photographers in her model class. She lent me a photographer
for an hour, all I had to do was fill in for an absent student later that day.
Tyra: 2 of you stand before me but I only have one -photo in my hands.
Taylor: *chuckles & giggles* Tyra: Is there something funny Taylor Swift?
Taylor: No I just thought how you said “you only have one photo in
your hands” was kind of cringy but... Tyra: BE QUIET TAYLOR!! STOP IT!!!!!
Tyra: I have never in my life had to yell at a girl like this!!
Taylor: Huh Tyra: I was rooting for you we
were all rooting for you!!! How dare you! Taylor: um school ended 4 hours ago,
I think I can just go home now... Tyra: Learn from this!!! You don’t know where
the hell I come from!! You don’t know what the hell I been through. When you lay down at night
take responsibility for yourself! Taylor: so yea that was odd,
maybe it was just that time of month for her... Taylor: Suddenly my phone started blowing up
with notifications. It was John Mayer,
he tweeted a request to duet with me! Perez: Taylor swift, how do you feel about
POPSTAR John Mayer wanting a duet with you? Taylor: I freaked out when I heard,
because I've been such a big fan of John for such a long time," "I'm really excited about
just the idea that he would even mention me on his Tweeter!" *Whispers* text me later
perez. Taylor
:Over Winter break, Lady Gaga went on her Monster Ball tour, her shows were so freaking weird.
Once school was back in session, John Mayer and I did a duet for the back to
school assembly in the gym. His body was like a wonderland
Paparazzi: Keri Hilson, R&B songstress! do the pretty girl rock!
Keri: ayyyeeee hahah Paparazzi: Wanna hold the magazine?
Keri: Yea who is that? Paparazzi: It’s your
lovely music video teacher Beyonce.... Keri: No im sorry I can’t do that .....
*Cut to Pretty Girl Rock falling off Itunes* Principal Jackson: skahhh jimona!
Students I’d like to remind you all that the 2010 Super Star High Grammys will be this Saturday.
These awards are picked by a bunch of snooty prestigious airhead artists like Elton Flop,
Stevie Wonderbread, David Bowie Germanotta, and LLNOTCOOLJ. So submit your albums to your
label and and may the best student win. Oh damn it my nose. Oh god. Can someone call Dr Phil?
Oprah: He’s not a real doctor Principal Jackson! MJ: What, are you serious?
Nicki: I bet Superbass will win like mad grammys Rihanna: Dang it mon,
i gotta finish my Loud album, Nicki: Hey don’t forget Rih Rih, we
still gotta film the music video for my song Fly. Rihanna: uggggh whhy mon, I hate dat song !
Jackson: now here’s a bit from a super relevant and famous celebrity comedian Carrot Top.
Carrot Top: hey guys, it’s me .the old carrot. You know from celebrity death match?
I’ve been at this school for 10 yrs, I literally graduate this year........
Aww screw you guys
*cuts to Taylor, Perez and Kesha in the bathroom*
Ke$ha: You have to submit your album “Fearless” to your label, and if you add “u belong with
me” to it, its for sure to win Best Album! Taylor: Im not even signed with a label...
Ke$ha: yea ya are. When you enroll here you're automatically signed with Super Star High Records,
they’re shit but it’s a label. They’ve probably been stealing
your money this whole time. Taylor: i don’t know ke$ha,
last time I did this I almost got put in the flop book and Queen Bey almost sent
the illuminati after me. Plus Gaga apologized. Ke$ha: she’s a manipulator, she didn’t mean that!
Perez: Ke$ha’s right, so far all we’ve done is make Gaga look like a hot hooker covered
in grass fed sirloin, Fearless will win album of the year, once we rig the vote of course.
Ke$ha: It’ll destroy Gaga and make her quit music forever, and she’ll be kicked out of
the pop queens. Rih: Heeeey Drake,
Drake: aye girl Rih: So I wanted to know
if you can rap on my song “What’s my name” Drake: i don’t know. What is your name?
Rih: No the song is called “ What’s my name” Drake: Oh.... well i still don’t know your name...