>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME AUBREY PLAZA.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
HI!
>> HELLO!
>> Stephen: HI.
>> HI.
>> Stephen: SO GLAD TO HAVE YOU ON.
>> ME, TOO, I LOVE YOU.
>> Stephen: I LOVE YOU, TOO, I'M A BIG FAN.
>> I LOVE YOU, TOO.
>> Stephen: FIRST QUESTION, OBVIOUSLY, DO YOU DO YOUR OWN
STUNTS?
>> YES!
NO.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU ANYTHING LIKE THE CHARACTERS?
IN THIS MOVIE, YOU PLAY TWO GIRLS WHO ARE BASICALLY BIGGER
GOOF BALLS THAN THE GUYS.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: IN THE MOVIE.
>> OH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU TROUBLE?
>> UM, I'VE BEEN TROUBLE BEFORE, YEAH.
I WOULD SAY, YEAH.
>> Stephen: ONE THING I LIKE ABOUT YOU, IS YOU LOOK LIKE YOU
HAVE A SECRET ALL THE TIME.
>> I WAS JUST ACTUALLY THINKING BACK THERE THAT I HAVE A SECRET.
( LAUGHTER ) THAT I SHOULDN'T TELL ANYBODY.
AND I'M NOT GONNA DO IT.
>> Stephen: NO.
>> NOT NOW, NOT TONIGHT.
WHAT!
>> Stephen: BECAUSE WE-- BECAUSE WE WOULDN'T LIKE THE
SECRET THAT YOU HAVE?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
I'M JUST SAYING ( BLEEP ).
I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T HAVE-- I DON'T KNOW.
>> Stephen: THERE'S NO ACTUAL SECRET.
>> THAT'S EXACTLY.
I HAVE NOTHING IS GOING ON UP THERE.
NOTHING.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE PLENTY GOING ON UP THERE, COME ON.
>> WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT?
I HAVE NO IDEA.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: YOU LOOK DANGEROUS.
>> I'M SORRY, I CAN'T HELP IT.
>> Stephen: DID ANYBODY EVER TELL YOU THAT BEFORE, THAT YOU
LIKE KIND OF LIKE A DANGEROUS PERSON?
>> YES, YEAH, SURE.
I THINK IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE TONE OF MY VOICE, AND
SOMETHING IN MY EYES OR MY HALF-PUERTO RICAN BACKGROUND.
I DON'T KNOW.
>> Stephen: I WOULDN'T TOUCH THAT WITH A 10-FOOT POLE.
>> I WOULDN'T.
( SPEAKING SPANISH ).
>> Stephen: WHAT?
DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
YOU COULD JUST MAKE IT UP.
I DON'T SPEAK SPANISH.
>> WELL WHAT, DO YOU SPEAK?
>> Stephen: A LITTLE BIT OF LATIN.
I TOOK-- >> ME, TOO.
>> Stephen: YOU TOOK LATIN?
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
( LAUGHTER ) ( SPEAKING LATIN ).
>> OKAY, I DON'T REMEMBER THAT.
>> Stephen: THE FARMER IS IN GALL.
THE FORUM IS IN GALL.
THAT'S BASICALLY IT.
>> I DID TAKE LATIN.
I WENT TO AN ALL-GIRLS' CATHOLIC SCHOOL.
>> Stephen: HOW LONG DID YOU GO?
>> FROM FOURTH GRADE TO 12th GRADE.
>> Stephen: THAT'S SERIOUS.
>> YUP.
>> Stephen: DID YOU LIKE IT?
A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK OF THAT AS AN OPPRESSIVE REGIME, LIKE THE
IRON CURTAIN.
>> NO, IT WASN'T LIKE THAT.
I LOVED IT.
AND WE WERE-- WE HAD A CONVENT ON THE CAMPUS, AND THE NUNS
TAUGHT US.
BUT OUR NUNS WERE COOL NUNS, LIKE SISTER BETTY PLAYED THE
GUITAR.
>> Stephen: SHE PLATE GUITAR?
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: WAS IT A LOT OF ♪ OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN
HALLOWED BE THY NAME ♪ THAT'S COOL.
LIKE INTERPRETIVE DANCE AT MASS AND STUFF LIKE THAT?
>> NO, WE WERE MORE TRADITIONAL ROMAN CATHOLIC KIND OF
TRADITIONAL.
BUT WE GOT CRAZY SOMETIMES.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
>> OH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A MOVIE I WOULD GO SEE.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> YOU KNOW, I JUST FINISHED SHOOTING A MOVIE IN ITALY WHERE
I PLAY A NUN IN THE 1400s.
>> Stephen: SERIOUSLY.
>> YES, GET READY FOR THAT ONE.
WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT TONIGHT.
>> Stephen: WE'RE TALKING ABOUT-- I WANTED TO KNOW WHETHER
YOU HAD EVER CONSIDERED THE HOLY ORDERS, DID YOU EVER THINK-- YOU
LIKED THE NUNS, RIGHT?
DID YOU EVER THING I COULD DO THAT?
>> HONESTLY, YES.
I REALLY-- I DID HAVE-- OH, GOD.
>> Stephen: I WENT TO THE TROUBLE HAVING THIS MADE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I'M TELLING YOU YOU'RE GOING TO
LOVE THIS MOVIE I JUST DID BECAUSE IT'S THAT BUT AN ENTIRE
MOVIE OF IT.
>> Stephen: OF A NUN WEARING INAPPROPRIATE CLOTHING AND MORE
LIPSTICK THAN A NUN WOULD EVER NO.
>> YEAH, NO, YEAH.
>> Stephen: DON'T TELL ME ABOUT THAT ONE.
LET'S GET BACK TO "MIKE AND DAVE NEED WEDDING DATES."
HAVE YOU-- WEDDINGS HAVE, LIKE, THREE THINGS THAT PEOPLE WANT--
THE COUPLE WANTS TO GET MARRIED, YOU KNOW.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: EVERYONE ELSE EITHER WANTS TO LEAVE AS QUICKLY
AS POSSIBLE OR THEY WANT TO HOOK UP.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: RIGHT?
HAVE YOU HAD FUN AT WEDDINGS?
>> UM...
( LAUGHTER ) I'VE BEEN TO, MAYBE, LIKE, TWO
WEDDINGS THAT HAVEN'T MADE ME WANT TO RUN OUT THE DOOR.
BUT I TRY TO HAVE FUN.
YOU KNOW, I TRY TO HAVE FUN, YOU KNOW, WHEREVER I AM.
AND I WAS MAID OF HONOR LAT YEAR AT A WEDDING.
>> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS.
>> THAT WAS A LOT OF RESPONSIBILITIES.
>> I PREFER TO GO TO WEDDINGS WHERE I DON'T HAVE ANY
RESPONSIBILITIES.
YOU HAVE FUN, YOU DRINK -- >> WHAT DOES THE MAID OF HONOR
HAVE TO DO?
>> YOU KNOW, ATTEND TO THE DRESS--
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE TO GIVE A SPEECH?
>> I GAVE A SPEECH.
I DON'T REMEMBER THIS SPEECH I GAVE.
>> Stephen: WHAT SOUNDS LIKE A FUN WEDDING.
>> THE ADVICE I GOT WAS TO BE SO DRUNK BEFORE THE SPEECH THAT YOU
DON'T CARE ANYMORE.