(TV audience cheering)
What, did you raid my fridge?
Yeah, you got something you wanna tell us, Todd?
How far along is the pregnancy?
(mocking laughter)
No, I'm stress eating right now.
Just downloaded a new dating app
and...I have, like, zero messages.
Let me see your profile picture.
I look great.
(record scratching)
#
Yeah, that's weird.
Uh, why'd you retouch your abs?
Did you re-edit one nipple higher than the other?
No. Abs, yes, but I didn't touch the nipples, all right.
And plus, you guys don't know anything about relationships.
Uh...I'm married.
Okay, okay, here's what you need to do.
You just gotta change that picture.
-Absolutely. -Yeah.
-What? -You need a picture with people
in it to show that you're fun and normal.
What about Halloween, huh?
Yeah, we had some cool pictures from that.
It's an oldie but a goodie.
A classic.
Here we go, here we go, here we go.
Wait, wait, wait, should we wait for Todd?
Right now we just look like a sad salad.
-Um, no. -Hey, we gotta move.
I think I hit, like, a parked car or something.
Uh, but, Todd, where's your burger patty costume?
Yeah, what's with the bows?
Eh? Right?
-I'm a gift to all women. -Todd!
-I hope you saved the receipt. -No, I didn't.
Dude, you ruined the whole burger costume.
-C'mon, it's gonna be great. -Oh my gosh.
It's gonna be great. Free drinks all night,
because I am gonna be getting free drinks.
-Shut up, Todd! -No one's gonna--
-Here we go, here we go. -I'm gonna go low.
Fine, go low.
-Mmm...nuh-uh. -Okay.
Okay, they say that you should use
a profile pic that shows your interests.
Mm, mm, I could do my fantasy football draft,
I'm the commissioner.
What is that?
Shows a lot of leadership.
You--you kinda like to hike.
Remember--remember the hiking trip?
-Yeah! -Okay guys, ready?
Wait, hold on.
Todd!
Seriously? Uck. What are you--
-Every time. -Oh my God.
-He's giving us some butt. -What are you doing?
Just keep--keep snapping, it's fine, guys.
Oh, it's cold!
-Um... -Hm, no.
You're just afraid of the male form.
That's a direct pec pic.
Okay, okay, hold on, I got this.
Vegas, okay.
I might be the only one who remembers it.
But you looked great that night.
Milo, Milo, take another one, take another one.
Okay, I'm sorry, I think there's a misunderstanding.
Yeah, we asked you to take a picture of us,
not be in the picture.
Semantics, semantics!
I can't find any pictures where you're not hanging out
with club girls.
-So what? -That's a giant red flag, okay?
No one wants to date a guy that hangs out
with other hot chicks.
I got it.
Use this one.
Aww, me and your grandma's cat?
Yes! You're relaxed, you're smiling with teeth.
There's a cat!
There's a cat.
My heart is melting.
Okay, I'll do that.
But, um...should I use my real name?
-Yes. -Absolutely.
What did you write?
I wanted to get "Little Dipper" but it was taken,
because I like to be the little spoon.
That's awful.
It's terrible.
You guys want any of this?
I--no thank you.
Yeah, no.
I'm gonna eat all of it.