Now, it is time, ladies and gentlemen,
to play Send To All!
Ladies and gentlemen, we're now going to go over live
to Chris Kamara, who is actually in the Send To All box!
Chris, are you there?
Michael, how are you?
It's Chris Kamara! How are you, Chris?
Aw, couldn't be any better, thank you, and it is great to be here.
So, Kammy, who are you here with tonight?
This is my oldest son, Ben, and my youngest son, Jack.
Ben and Jack, ladies and gentlemen.
The boys are in! They are my pride and joy.
Oh, that's so sweet!
So, Kammy, let's talk Christmas in the Kammy household.
It's your birthday as well.
It is. On Christmas Day. Christmas Day, yeah.
There you go, happy birthday! Thank you.
Merry Christmas!
My real name is Christmas Kamara.
Christmas Kamara!
Is it a good thing, that?
Now, obviously, when I was playing football,
I played for 22 years, so I never had a drink
on my birthday until I was 38 years old.
How large did you go on your 38th birthday?
Have you stopped since?
I can't remember!
That must have been quite the birthday!
So, we see you, we know and love you,
on Sky during the football, on a Saturday. Yes.
Cos we're not allowed the footage, are we, on the TV - the rights?
That's right.
So we have to make do with people describing what's going on.
Now, why is that such a struggle for you?
LAUGHTER
So you watch the game, you're facing in the right direction?
Yeah, watching the game as normal, so the game is going on there,
and then I have to turn the other way and then speak to Jeff,
so anything can be happening behind me.
I have a six-inch screen in front of me,
and my eyesight is going a little bit,
you tend to miss one or two things.
Can we talk to you about glasses?
Is that something you've ever considered?
Do you refuse the use of glasses?
No, not at all.
Everyone likes it better if I say, "I don't know, Jeff!"
OK, this is going to be so, so fun.
Well, thank you for being so generous with your phone.
If you'd like to pop it in the stocking that we have here,
and I will bring the phone down.
Can you see it? It's right in front of you, it's that red thing.
I can't! I need them glasses again!
Oh, God!
Catch! No!
No, wait! Wait, don't!
Kammy, wait!
Kammy, wait! These carollers were going to sing
while I moved the phone down, so maybe...
You just sing and then drop it at the end.
OK? I'll stand here.
All right, come on, start singing!
# Ding dong, verily the sky
# Is riv'n with angel singing
# Glo-o-o-o-r-ia
# Hosanna in excelsis! #
Well, that worked!
Thank you very much, our carollers!
There you go, you can have some chocolate money.
There you go, an acorn - how thrilling.
There you go, thank you, see you.
I am now, ladies and gentlemen, in possession of Chris Kamara's
mobile phone, it's in my hand now!
All right, so...
There it is, ladies and gentlemen.
That is Kammy's phone!
CHEERING
Oh, is it your grandchildren, Kammy?
Yes. Oh, sweet.
What are their names? I can't see them for the apps.
Can't see them for the apps!
Kammy, you need glasses more than anyone I've ever met!
This is your own phone, Kammy!
It's Solomon and Connie.
Solomon and Connie, there they are.
They are behind your very important apps,
Ryanair, Jet2,
and Monarch.
Someone likes to travel in style!
This is one of the benefits of having no eyesight -
it's like first-class, who knows?!
OK, so what else have we got here?
We'll have a look at your photos.
Oh, my goodness, there you are...
Is this how you get your wet-look hairstyle?
Oh, my God!
Talk us through this one, Kammy.
I feed some sheep at the back of my house.
OK, but you know the whole point of a selfie
is you can see it before you press it?
All right.
There's another one, look at that!
I really do need them glasses.
Oh, my God!
Of all these pictures, you can actually assemble your face!
Is that you kissing that...?
That is, yeah, we were in Nairobi last year.
Were you kissing him,
or are your eyes so bad, you had to get that close?
Up until here, you thought it was Peter Crouch.
Bit of FaceTime.
Are these people you've been face FaceTiming?
Ben Shephard?
Oh, from the telly? Yeah, of course. You know Shep.
What were you FaceTiming him about on the 27th of the 8th?
That's a while ago, that's August.
You don't use FaceTime very much!
I know what this is -
these are accidental FaceTimes, aren't they?
You're not wrong! You've tried to call them, you're talking to them,
and Shephard is looking into your ear.
"Do you want to come on holiday with me?
"I'm going on jet2.com!"
I feel too excited. I'm going to have to FaceTime Ben Shephard.
Go on.
Oh, come on, Sheps!
I've never done Facetime on Send To All.
Yeah! What?!
CHEERING
Hello, Shepsy!
Sorry, mate!
Hold up, wait, wait, wait!
Hold on.
I-I-I...
I need to put my trousers on! I need to put my trousers on!
LAUGHTER
Kammy's up here in the box. Wave, Kammy.
There's Kammy.
What are you doing, Ben? Sorry to catch you with no trousers.
Well, I'm just relaxing.
I'm just relaxing with the family. Show us round, Sheps.
You might as well show us round.
OK! You want to have a look round the house?
OK, there you ago.
There's the family.
Hi, guys! Hi, boys!
That's Sam, and there's Jack.
Good to see you.
What's in the fridge, Shepsy?
Here you go...
Lovely house.
I can't believe this is happening!
Oh, here you go. The wife made this.
Oh, lovely, look at that!
That looks a beautiful chocolate cake for Christmas.
This is actually my Christmas Show! This will be on, if you give us
permission, this will be on BBC One on Christmas Day.
If we give you permission, yes, indeed!
LAUGHTER
Do you want to say anything to your mate, Kammy?
Yeah.
I thought you were going on holiday.
Ha! I wish I HAD gone on holiday!
I can't thank you enough,
the unexpected Unexpected Star of the show, it's Ben Shephard!
CHEERING
Happy Christmas, everybody!
All right, we're going to pop the text in now.
It's a bit of fun. So...
Why is this so enormous?
Kammy!
Would you do us all a favour and go to the optician?
This is the biggest thing I've ever seen!
OK, the idea behind this text, Chris,
is that you're going to send a text intended for your darling wife.
Anne. Anne.
Now, what do you call Anne?
Anne.
I don't know why I said that!
Never darling or babe or...?
If I call her anything else, she'll think I've done something.
OK, so Anne.
Right. "Hi, Anne.
"Here it is.
"My Christmas and birthday list."
So, we're going to start with...
"One-litre tub
"of wet-look gel."
I'm running a bit short.
"Moustache pencil."
You'll like this next one.
"Electric...
"..back shaver.
"Silk kimono...
"..with tiger design."
In brackets, "(Short.
"(Above the knee.)
"David Beckham
"Instinct
"Eau de..."
I'm just going to write "toilet" wrong, and leave it there.
"Verruca socks.
"Tickets to Steps reunion tour."
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Glasses!
Glasses!
That's very clever!
Someone in the audience said that, well done!
"Lorraine Kelly's Bums And Tums...
"..work-out DVD."
In brackets, "(Shearer swears by it.)"
Is Shearer in your phone?
Yes.
"Leather wallet
"with PIN number
"engraved.
"Cash."
OK, and then finally, we're going to go...
"Pink cashmere jumper."
In brackets,
"(That's YOUR present.
"(You might as well buy it
"(while you're out.)"
All right, any suggestions from the audience, please?
Guyliner.
Guyliner!
Yes, I'm replacing cash with Guyliner.
Sorry?
Selfie stick. Selfie stick.
That's very good!
Very good! That's very good!
Selfie stick.
That's very funny.
How do you end a text, Kammy?
With a kiss. Ah, sealed with a kiss.
There's a kissy heart one, that's nice. OK.
Shall we send that to everybody in Kammy's phone?
CHEERING Right, so...
..that has delivered!
Ladies and gentlemen, the wonderful Christmas Kamara!
Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time to find out
what replies
Christmas Kamara has got on his mobile phone
in tonight's Send To All!
CHEERING
So, the text that went out...
"Hi, Anne..."
That's Kammy's missus.
"So, here it is, my Christmas and birthday list..."
Because, of course, your birthday is on Christmas Day.
"One litre tub of wet-look gel, moustache pencil,
"electric back shaver, silk kimono with tiger design -
"(short, above the knee) -
"David Beckham Instinct eau de toilet,
"verruca socks, tickets to Steps reunion tour, glasses,
"Lorraine Kelly's Bums And Tums work-out DVD -
"(Shearer swears by it) -
"leather wallet with PIN number engraved,
"guyliner, selfie stick, and pink cashmere jumper -
"(that's your present, you might as well buy
"(it while you're out).
"Kissing emoji."
So that went out. Quite frankly, we'd better crack on.
So, we'll start with Jo Hull, who's that?
She's a friend of my wife's.
Is she called Hull or is she from Hull?
She's from Hull. She's from Hull.
"Well, that's an impressive list.
"I reckon Anne has already got the glasses from the market.
"The Lorraine Kelly DVD I have, so will get you a copy.
"Mind you, it never worked for me.
"I thought you already had a tiger silk kimono..."
LAUGHTER
"Good luck with the rest."
Who is Alex Beresford?
The weatherman on Good Morning Britain.
So, Alex has gone for, "Midlife crisis in full effect.
" #PrayforKammy."
Ray Winstone...
OK, Ray Winstone has come back
with a crying laughing emoji, followed by...
AS RAY WINSTONE: "I'm telling everyone because, as you know,
"Kammy, I'm a right grass."
OK, Rochelle Humes.
AUDIENCE: Ooh!
You do Ninja Warrior together. We do, yes.
Super fun.
"I'm very upset with you for making Anne buy her own present."
And then she's ended with, "Unbelievable, Jeff!"
Glenn Murray, striker.
Yeah, Brighton.
"Surely that wasn't meant for me, was it?
"Bit of Steps?
"Yeah, Kammy!"
Then he's put the dancing emoji.
"They don't stand a chance with the 'tache pencil,
"wet-look gel and David Beckham spray!"
He thinks you're trying to seduce Steps.
"No worries, Kammy, won't go any further.
"The special ingredients are safe with me."
Thanks, Muzza.
Lesley Young. Who's Lesley Young?
She's another friend of my wife's.
Yes, she is, because she's texted, "I'm actually sat next
"to your wife."
And then she's gone, "What am I meant to say?"
Andy Warmup - "Lorraine Kelly's DVD is very good.
"I've lost 4lbs."
I don't understand this, but Ben Shephard...
Ben Shephard has actually...
He has gone, "Ugh, think you've forgotten
"the haemorrhoid cream,
"and the little old blue pills, mate.
"By the way, tell McIntyre I'm now completely naked."
LAUGHTER
There's only one way to find out.
Facetime number two, please.
Ladies and gentlemen, a huge hand for a sensational sport.
Christmas Kammy!
CHEERING
Thank you, Kammy, thank you so, so much.