is pride the cause of low self-esteem
state tuned. this is Damon Cart from NLP
gym is pride a sign of low self-esteem
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I did an interview with Steve Andreas
who's a legend in the field of NLP and
that interview is available on this
YouTube channel. I asked Steve what was he
most proud of
he's had a a a body of work career an
amazing career in NLP and therapy in
general I think he's 81 at this time and
i think it was 80 whenever I interviewed
him last year and so I asked him what
you know what are you most proud of you
didn't exactly like my question he
didn't like the word pride and he said
that he could say what he was most
satisfied about but that he didn't he
didn't engage in Pride and I asked him a
little bit more about that and basically
what pride is pride is a sign of a shaky
self-concept it's a falls in line with
self-esteem a lowered self-esteem and
lowered confidence and the reason for
that is pride is a symptom of comparing
yourself to other people and comparing
yourself to other people you gotta start
exploring and unpacking why we do this
and we all do it to a certain extent
nobody's immune to it
nobody's immune to pride nobody's immune
shame and pride and shame are really on
the same spectrum two different ends of
the spectrum but their cause is the same
and that is comparison when you compare
yourself to others it may give you a
temporary sense of superiority which
feels good and that's what creates pride
but the truth is that comparing yourself
to others will only serve to limit you
it will only serve to lower your self
esteem because when you play the game of
comparison
then there's always gonna be somebody
who's better than you at something and
when you come into contact with that
person who's better than you at
something and you're doing that
comparison thing
well then your self-esteem is going to
drop and that's also where the feeling
of shame comes from where we're not good
enough where we're of lower value so
here's the thing to comparing yourself
to others sometimes can be helpful if
you're saying athlete and your you have
your you know your competitor who's
better than you has a better time than
you have something that they do better
comparing yourself to them in order to
reach their level skill are to surpass
their level of skill as a way of driving
yourself to be better at what it is you
want to be better at that can be a
healthy thing is sort of like healthy
competition but if you're comparing your
value your your self-worth in a sense to
someone else's and if they're like a
better person
this will always get you into trouble
like I said you
we do it because we want to feeling of
superiority like oh we're better than
those people at least I'm not like those
people those people do this sort of
thing
inevitably you're going to run into the
people who you compare yourself to and
see as better than you and then that's
gonna bring you down that's going to
lower your self esteem and also in the
worst-case scenario brings about the
feeling of shame which is of no use to
you it will not help you in anyway so if
you catch yourself comparing yourself to
other people break that pattern stop
yourself right there and say okay what
am I doing here what am I getting out of
business why might why am I doing this
is it because i want to feel superior or
do I want to shame myself to I want to
feel worse about myself some people
engage in that kind of behavior and it's
not going to help you if you're feeling
a sense of pride again step back look at
what it is and say okay this is really
the result of me comparing myself to
someone else
our group of people and trying to feel
superior to them it's okay to be
satisfied when you do something that
you're happy about that you accomplished
yeah absolutely celebrate that feel
satisfied about that and that's what
steve was basically telling me he said I
don't want to feel pride about anything
I've done because that in that implies
that i'm
was pulling I'm putting myself above
someone else are a group of other people
rather he would rather feel satisfied
about it and that's something that comes
from within that's not about looking
externally that's about this is what i
did and this is what I feel good about
in the moment I'm I'm present to the the
situation and in that situation I feel
satisfied
I'm not comparing myself to others I'm
not comparing myself to anything
externally i'm satisfied right now with
myself with the way things are and with
whatever I accomplished our whatever I'm
feeling right now that will get you so
much further than pride or comparing
yourself to others or just for the
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