Our first guest is an Academy Award winning actress, a best
selling author and a real wild card
when she sits in this chair.
Please welcome my friend Diane Keaton.
[MUSIC - HARRY STYLES, "ADORE YOU"] Walk through fire
for you.
Just let me adore you.
Oh, honey.
Walk through fire for you.
Just let me adore you.
It's the only thing I'll ever do.
Your wonder, under summer skies.
Thank you.
Wow, this is so different.
Yeah.
Oh, and Ellen, my God, it's beautifully orchestrated.
Yeah, it's fun.
It's nice to be distant from you.
It's--
This feels so weird, because usually I'm closer.
Right?
And does that--
Duh.
Yeah.
Does that scare you sometimes when you're closer?
No, it's very attractive.
I mean, I don't mind being closer to people.
Yeah, but you just said, it's nice to be distant.
Well, right now, because we don't want to die.
No.
I mean, not today anyway--
No.
--or ever maybe.
No.
[KNOCKING]
Do you think there's a chance--
oh thank God, is that coming?
Yeah.
This is the real--
Here.
Oh, wait a minute, don't go.
Can I kiss your hand?
No, you can't kiss his hand.
He's nice though.
It's the kind of ice you like, too.
What's the ice you like?
Oh, what's that?
Oh, liquor store.
Liquor store ice, like, from a bag.
I can't actually--
You can't reach it?
I can push it to you.
It's always wonderful to be here.
All right.
What do you have in your jacket?
What do you mean?
I don't know.
Is there something there?
Yeah.
Oh!
Oh, that's for later.
[LAUGHS] No, the problem is--
What is it.
I'm going to be on another segment with you--
Yeah.
--and I didn't want to lose that.
That's where you put it?
OK, grandma.
I did.
All right.
Moving on.
Shall I start drinking now.
Yeah, you should start drinking now.
How long do you have to bear with me?
I'm going to bear with you for about six minutes
in this segment.
Oh.
And then another few minutes in the next segment.
OK, so that means--
thank you.
You're welcome.
Thank you for being here in person.
Thank you for wanting to be here.
Oh yes, and I did want to.
Yes.
Yeah, thank you.
Drink up.
You started posting like crazy on Instagram.
Like, you're sharing your entire life.
I enjoy it.
I don't know what to say about that.
Oh, I'm sharing incidents, right, in my life?
Yeah, like you went to Goodwill.
I did go to the Goodwill.
So she's bringing clothes.
Can you imagine going to Goodwill
and getting Diane Keaton's clothes?
I mean there's some fabulous things that you're giving away.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
Well, it is maybe a little crazy.
Well, I mean, that's a lot of--
That's me, actually.
That's a lot of clothes.
Yeah, that's a strange woman doing something generous,
I guess.
Right.
Oh my God.
Look at all the clothes.
There's a certain point where I didn't need all the clothes
that I had, so I thought the best thing for me to do
would be to give it to the Goodwill.
Of course.
And then maybe somebody, if they were interested,
would maybe buy something and give to Goodwill.
Yeah.
But I mean, are they going to find things like that?
Are they going to be dressed like you
if we see people walking--
Yeah, they're things that I've had.
Wow.
You also posted on Instagram making tacos.
Yeah.
I love tacos, and I like to share it with the world--
Yes.
--which needs it, man.
It's the only thing I know how to cook.
Yeah, it really is the only thing you cook.
And I have to say that that's it.
Yeah.
You know what I like about this show?
What is it?
The wine.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, most people don't have wine for me.
But when I come on, Ellen's so generous about that.
Right.
That's our new promo.
You know what I like about this show? the wine.
That'll get them here.
People at home are enjoying their wine, too,
when they watch this show.
I hope so.
That's what I like about it, too.
I see them drinking when they're at home.
They're drinking at home.
Yeah, they are.
They can't drink here.
So anyway, sometimes they have pets on their laps
and different things.
They do?
Yeah.
People have pets, they have wine.
Seriously?
Yeah.
That's so sweet.
We enjoy it.
We'll see someone-- oh look, there's somebody in the back
that's holding--
Oh, someone has a pet?
See, there's someone with a doggy.
Oh, oh there!
Yeah, in the back.
Oh, look, and in the other corner there's a man holding--
There's a man?
Where's the man?
Oh, to the right.
I'm interested in the man.
OK, well--
Oh, and he's got a dog.
Hi!
There's a bunch of men.
There's some men here in this studio.
Where's some other men?
There's other men.
Where though?
I don't see them.
He's raising his hand.
There's a lot of men.
Which man?
Stand up, man.
Stand up, mister.
Hey!
Stand up.
Hey!
You're great!
There's another man.
There's a man!
There's another man.
Another man!
You know, I've been holed up at the house alone.
All right.
I could use a man or two.
No, no, no.
No, not a good idea.
You're not going to get frisky right now.
I can't?
Just keep drinking wine.
Should I go to break.
Do you want me to go?
No.
Oh.
No, I don't want you to go.
I want to know about your new dog.
Is it new?
Oh hi, hello, how are you?
That's a man, too.
Yeah.
The dog is a special dog.
Yeah.
The dog-- I'm having some issues with the dog.
The dog was gifted to me.
[AWW]
Oh where is he?
You see the dog?
Yeah, he's cute.
Oh, the worst!
See what I mean?
What's his name?
Look at that face.
Love her.
It's a girl.
Her name is Reggie.
Reggie?
That is a great photo.
Yeah, look at that.
She got light on her eyes.
Are we showing you the photo for the first time?
That's the bad part of her.
Oh.
What she's doing now is she's eating all my grass.
Oh, that's horrible.
Yeah, yeah, she's not a good dog.
Oh, no.
But she is the life.
Oh my God.
I can't believe you took this.
That's horrible.
You took that picture.
Oh my God.
That's terrible.
OK, I know she's not a good dog, I said that.
Yeah.
Look, look at that face.
Yeah.
Is she a golden retriever?
Yeah.
Oh.
Yeah.
I think she is.
Yeah.
All right, now I have to go to break.
Whatever you say, Ellen.
I'm happy.
Just keep drinking.
Ellen, can I stay?
Yeah.
We'll be back.