- Hello, lovely people and welcome to my filming room again
with the lovely Stevie Boebi.
- Hi.
- We're back for another episode
of "Sweet Aunt, Spicy Aunt".
You're the spicy one.
- I wonder if one time we should swap
and you try to give spicy answers
and I try to give sweet answers.
- Oh, we should definitely do that.
I'm not prepared though.
- Let us know in the comments if you want us to do that.
- I think I would be bad at it.
I don't even know what I'd say.
I could try, unclear.
No, in this series we give you some advice
to questions you've asked everyone.
On my Instagram, @jessicaoutofthecloset,
and Stevie's Instagram @Stevieboebi.
- I just wanted to make you say it.
Any of queries that you have about life, we're here for you.
We are ready, we're gonna answer.
I shall be giving some sweeter,
maybe a little gentler advice potentially.
And Stevie's will be more,
burn everything to the ground
- Block and delete everyone.
- But before we dive into it,
I have a very exciting announcement.
Oh hi, what a delight to see you as I sit here
with an important announcement.
As of this very moment, yes, this very moment.
This moment right here,
this moment where this video is released.
This video, this one.
This one, hi.
All of my merch in my DFTVA shop
is currently on sale at 20% off.
And these are lines that will not be restocked.
That's the Tilly and Walter iron on patches.
The Some Such Tosh enamel pin,
the Crest Enamel pin.
There are still a few limited edition pride pins,
so I've thrown those in there as well.
Point is swoop in now, snap things up
because once they're gone they're gone.
Much like the Because Gay enamel pin.
It's just gone, completely sold out.
So click the Lovely People merch link
in the description down below
or check out the product in the merch shelf
if that is something you can see in your country.
Ah.
And thank you so much for your purchase
and supporting the channel.
- Do you like spicy food?
- I love spicy food.
What kind of question is that?
- I wonder which of us can handle spicier things.
- How would I live with my wife if I didn't eat spicy food?
- Yeah, I feel like there's so many different kinds of spice
and sometimes Josie will be freaking out
about how spicy something is and I'm like, it's fine.
And then sometimes I'll be like, this is way too spicy.
And she's like, it's not so,
- No, no, I have a baby who complains
if things aren't spicy enough.
Like you know when people serve you Prawn crackers
but they're like the plain Prawn crackers,
he does not eat them now because he's like,
I feel lied to.
Give me the spicy type Prawn crackers.
- Sensory seeking, love it.
- [Interviewer] How do you tell your parents No,
as an adult?
(laughs nervously)
- You know, I did see this TikTok that was talking about how
if you learn how to gentle parent children,
you can do that with your parents.
So like when they're saying things that are inappropriate
or if you just wanna say no to them,
do gentle parenting tactics to them.
So if they're like, I mean no,
you have to let me show up at this time at your place
even though you've told me multiple times
that I shouldn't show up at that time.
You can be like, I understand you're having big feelings
about this right now.
But you know, no is no.
We have to respect each other's boundaries.
That type of thing.
- I'm hearing a frustration about this situation.
- Yeah.
- However, this is a hard no this time
and we will have to address this later.
- Also, you can validate their feelings.
You can be like, you know exactly what we both just said.
(laughs)
- Gosh. Okay.
Huh. Yeah.
So, interesting.
We very much gentle parent our child.
He has no issue saying no to us.
So clearly that works out.
Yeah. Goodness.
Okay, I better bring out my gentle parenting handbook
and see if that works the other way around.
- It's great in customer service jobs as well, you know,
if you have any customer service experience.
Deescalation.
- [Interviewer] Next, how do I flirt?
No one seems to realize when I'm into them.
- Ah, hard same.
This was me for a very long time.
All of my dating.
And then I met my wife who also does not realize often
when I flirt with her.
Although the great thing about her
is that you can just tell her stuff.
- Yeah, my tactic is always
to accuse them of flirting with you
and then see how they react.
- Yeah, that's a good one.
- Yeah. - Straight up there.
- Just manipulate them, you know what I mean?
Be like, are you flirting with me?
It's even, it's better if like the thing they said,
not flirting at all.
- Is that not sort of off putting for the other person?
- Yeah.
- Okay, but would they not,
if they had been considering maybe flirting with you
and then you've just come on a bit like,
are you flirting with me?
And now they're like, oh wow, absolutely not now.
- Yeah, I think, I think if they now pause
or act kind of uncomfortable,
you can just say, oh my God, I'm just kidding.
It's totally fine, Lol.
And if they go, oh my God, I would never flirt with you
you're not my type, then you have your answer, you know?
- Okay, but then what if they paused
because they were uncomfortable, but then you just said,
I was joking, but now they're confused because you said
that you were joking. - Then you do it again.
You have to follow it up
with accusing them of flirting with you again.
Like once or twice a day every time you hang out with them
until they say yes.
- How long does this normally take?
So my, my flirting issue is that I'm very openly effusively
positively kind to everyone around me.
So most people tend to think that I am flirting
with them all the time, including middle-aged men
in situations where I really don't want 'em to think
that I'm flirting with 'em.
It's really quite uncomfortable actually.
But if it's someone I specifically want to think,
know that I am flirting with them,
I really have to go quite beyond and quite out there
because I call everyone darling.
If your issue is that you are just very snugly, cuddly,
kind and a little bit flirty with everyone,
if you're a bit of a flirt, let's be honest here,
if you're a bit of a flirt with everyone,
and this one person is really catching your eye,
then maybe you're actually gonna have to just
lay it on a bit thick.
- You could just straight up say I am flirting with you.
- I know this sounds like I'm flirting with you
but that's because I am.
- Yeah, everyone will love that.
- You really are very gorgeous.
- All right, we need a gif of that.
- [Interviewer] Advice for a relationship that's going
from a friendship to more after several years.
- Take it a little slow, feel it out,
because if this is a very deep friendship
that you've had for a number of years,
and it means an awful lot to the two of you
and it's starting to slide into somewhere
that could be a bit romantic,
the worry might be,
oh are we just testing the romantic waters?
Like what if it actually isn't fully romantic?
What if this doesn't work out for us?
We'll be, be damaging our friendship.
But first of all, just know that lots of
lots of friendships have romantic moments
and you can still be friends.
And also just because someone becomes your romantic partner
doesn't mean that you stop being friends with them.
My wife is my best friend that is in many ways
separate to her being my wife and my romantic partner.
Like she is my best friend.
She's the funniest person I know.
So there's that element.
And then there might also be some fear
around just the unknown of a new romantic relationship.
- Yeah, I think the opposite.
I think you should go hard, fast, move in together,
talk about kids right now to avoid slipping back into,
because you've had a longer amount of time
establishing like an emotional baseline for your friendship
and what that means, so if you slowly do it,
then you, in my opinion, risk sliding back into friendship.
So you should get married right now
- Have kids tomorrow.
- Yeah.
- That will definitely help in the situation.
- Elope.
- [Interviewer] What are some sweet and spicy ways
to decorate my disability aids?
For example, my walking stick and walker
- Cover your walking stick in pearls
and then you can go to a place that does,
sprays motorbikes.
Sometimes I have to act things out.
Sprays it, sprays motorbikes
and you can get them to like decorate your walker
in pastel colors, like a pastel rainbow.
- Love that.
- I think that'd be really nice.
Also, I quite like tassels.
- That's a little bit toeing the line
of sweet and and spicy.
- How is that toeing the line?
- I feel like tassels are a little bit spicy.
- It depends firstly on what color your tassels are.
Secondly on the placement.
- Are you not talking about nipple tassels?
- Absolutely not, Stevie Boebi.
- What other kind of tassels are there?
- Reel it back in.
- So the spicy way to decorate a walker and a cane,
in my opinion, is to add (censored) to the cane.
Testicles to the cane.
- Sorry what?
- The walker, you can like make a giant vulva
to put on the front of it so people will see you coming.
- Okay.
- Anyway, tell me more about tassels.
- Yeah.
- Wait, we have to do this now.
I have to make a cane with testicles
and you have to have one with pearls all over it.
- That's definitely going on your channel.
(laughs)
- Move that question to my channel.
- [Interviewer] Where can I find queer girls
when I don't have time to go clubbing?
- Oh my gosh, I don't think you need to go clubbing
to find queer girls.
- Depends on where you live.
There's so many places.
- No, no because if I don't think right, okay,
I think you need to find someone in life
who matches with you, right.
And if you are not a clubbing person,
why go clubbing to meet your person
- Yeah. - who matches with you?
So you would just be meeting people who go clubbing
but then, then what?
Then the person that you meet is like
"I'm gonna go clubbing, you coming?"
You're like, "No sorry
that was a one time thing so I could meet you.
I'm never doing it again."
- Yeah. - And you don't match.
Whereas if you maybe found some other kind of like
daytime queer women's groups to go along to,
even if and God I remember doing this
'cause obviously chronic illness,
I'm not great at nighttime stuff
and I know we all have different,
we all have different times to be awake.
I'm looking at you.
For me it's not nighttime.
- Jessica's saying all disabled people
cannot be out at nighttime.
That's why disabled spots only,
only allow you to park in the daytime.
- So me personally not great after the hours of dark.
So I very much was like, let's look around
for things that young lesbians want to do in the daytime.
And I found like the Queer Women's Walking Club.
It was a great thing for me.
Like, Queer Women's Cinema Club,
Queer Women's Lunch Club.
And every single woman there, other than me,
was over the age of 50.
I was like, okay, well I'm,
Hi friends, hi everyone, hi.
But the thing is you start to meet people
and create a network.
So yes, maybe not everyone there is going to be your date,
but they might know someone who knows someone
who knows someone who knows someone,
and then you meet other people
- Because we live in Brighton, which is very gay,
very queer, lots and lots of events and clubs
and stuff like that.
Like we don't necessarily have to go clubbing
because it's not the only thing that there is.
But a lot of places, there's no such thing as a queer space
that doesn't have alcohol
or is a sober space or is a daytime event.
I would say most of the world does not have
events other than gay clubs or gay bars.
So that can be a bit tricky.
When I have been in places that don't really
have a lot of queer events, I just get on Tinder
and try to make friends that way.
Put on my profile looking for friends.
In lots of places, queer people are friends with each other
and they throw their own dinner parties
or they go to the cinema in a group or you know.
The most unrealistic thing
about representation of queer people in media
is that there's like a bunch of straight people
and they have one gay friend.
I've never ever in my life known a gay person
who is the only gay person in a friend group.
You know, we tend to stick together so
- Oh we did for a while have a gay friend group
with our token straight girl though.
- Yeah, that that exists for sure.
- That does happen.
We do have the token straights
- Go to your ex's birthday party
- You know, that kind of thing.
We actually had a really, one of our best friends
is a girl that Claudia went on a date with once,
and they really did not hit it off at all on that date.
And then we were like, Hey bud, should we end this here?
She was like, yeah bud, let's, let's not do that.
Let's just be pals.
We're like, yeah.
And now they're really good friends.
We're really good friends.
We're great friends with her partner
and we're all part of a bigger group.
- Yeah, so you can go on a Tinder date with someone you know
that you might not necessarily end up with
or be interested in just so that you can score an invite
and someone playing matchmaker later on.
- Yeah, don't swipe away from someone.
I actually don't know which way you swipe
but don't swipe away from someone because you're like,
they're too much like me.
No, no, maybe you should click on.
Does that happen?
- Click on. - I don't know
- Super like.
- I've been married a while, okay.
- I couldn't tell you if it's swipe left or right.
I don't remember.
But also, I get confused
'cause sometimes people think this means swipe, swipe left.
Some people think this means swipe left.
I don't know which one I think.
I think this is swipe left if you're looking at the phone
because I'm trying to get to the page that's left of it.
So if I drag the page that way I'm swiping left.
But a lot of people think that it's swiping right.
Yeah. So I never know which one it is
and I get 'em confused.
- Anyway, thank you so much for this education
in swiping left and right.
Brilliant, we'll come back to on that one.
As always, it's been a pleasure to have you Steve.
(laughs)
Thank you, I really look forward to decorating
canes and walkers with you
- Oh my god. - in a
future video on your channel.
- Definitely.
- It's going to be an experience.
However you can right now hop over to Stevie's channel
via a link in the description for the second part
of our "Sweet Aunt, Spicy Aunt" today
where we'll be answering more of your questions
and hopefully learning more about not Tinder swiping
left and right
because we apparently don't have that down yet,
which is left and which is right.
Who knows.
But Stevie, where else can people find you on the internet?
- Well, you can also click on the playlist
to watch all of the episodes that we've ever made
of "Sweet Aunt, Spicy Aunt"
but I'm also on TikTok and Instagram
and Twitter and YouTube.
It's either Stevie or Stevie Boebi.
- And you can find those linked in the description
down below.
Thank you so much for watching and don't forget
that everything in my merch store is
from today, 20% off.
And everything will indeed be gone
very soon because it is indeed closing.
And Happy International Women's Day
- To those who celebrate.
- Wait, do we not all celebrate International Women's Day?
- Oh yeah, if you're not a woman.
- I think you can still celebrate.
- Oh right, yeah.
- International Women's Day, you're celebrating women.
- How do you celebrate International Women's Day?
Tradition that you do?
- Apparently, I clap. No, I,
- Like maybe making a vulva walker or one with testicles.
You know, women have all different genitals.
- Actually, one thing I like to do is share in my stories
female creators who I think are really great.
- Oh, cute, I love that.
- That's one of the things I like to do.
But I also just like to send text messages to women I like.
- I love that.
That's a great tradition.
Text some women that you like.
- So thank you so much for watching
and I'll see you in the next video.
Bye.
(upbeat music)