This is Clay.
And today I want to tell you three signs that your ex's rebound relationship is likely to
fail.
Okay, so, I know it can really hurt a lot when you go through a breakup and, maybe just
a couple of days later, a couple of weeks later, or something, your ex ends up in a
rebound relationship.
This can feel really hurtful because it it almost seems like they are not taking any
time to get over the breakup, and they just erasing you and replacing you right away.
But I want you to know that a lot of rebound relationships do have a very poor track record
for working in the long run.
And today I'm going to give you three signs that your ex's rebound relationship might
have a little bit of trouble down the road or maybe a lot of trouble.
So the first sign is if your ex never really took any time to grieve from
the breakup.
Maybe they cried or something like the day they broke up with you or something, but then
if the next day it's like "Yay happy party time!
I have a new boyfriend or girlfriend!" or whatever, then, yeah, then that's not really
grieving.
For a good breakup...
For a relationship that's been around for a while, you're probably going to need at
least a couple of weeks to get through that emotional experience of grieving that breakup.
Obviously everybody's little bit different.
Everybody's internal emotional world is wired a little bit different.
So there's no rule of thumb or anything like that, but it's probably going to take at least
a couple of weeks for most regular people who are in a pretty serious, committed relationship.
And if your ex skips that grieving process that means that there is a very high
chance that their rebound relationship might fail.
OK, so if they just jump right into the rebound relationship, and suddenly
it's like "Oh, yeah, I'm just really super-happy when we're together right now!
And to be honest I never really felt any weird breakup sadness or anything from the other
breakup with my ex or anything...
It's just suddenly everything is just awesome and unicorn farts and rainbows in this new
rebound relationship!"
And that's a big red flag that that relationship is going to have some trouble in the future
and the reason why is because your ex isn't dealing with those emotions, OK?
Instead they're just slapping a "relationship bandaid" over that broken heart wound here
and they're going to have to deal with the emotions and the breakup sooner or later whether
they'd like to or not...
Whether they are distracting themselves or not...
Whether they are medicating themselves with a new relationship or any other form of distraction,
or quasi-addictive numbing behavior.
But they are going to have to deal with the emotions from that breakup.
So when that happens, it's going to put a lot of pressure on the new relationship because
they're just coming together.
Suddenly, out of the blue, your ex will start to talk to their rebound partner about "Hey
I just feel really bad" or "I just don't get it.
I keep thinking about my ex" or whatever.
And oftentimes when a relationship is new, when somebody is talking about stuff like
that, it can put a lot of pressure on the relationship, especially if the other person
is insecure, and your ex is suddenly having all these intense thoughts about you or anything
or something like that.
It can make the other person insecure.
They might feel jealous.
They might be like "Hey, it seems that you're still hung up on your ex.
What's that all about?"
They might get jealous.
I don't know.
But that's going to put a lot of pressure on their new relationship.
The second thing... the second sign that their rebound relationship might
fail is if they talk a lot about you.
And this includes either in a good way or a bad way because it means that you are consuming
a lot of their thoughts.
You are consuming a lot of what they're thinking about throughout the day.
And if you are on their mind a lot, if you are occupying a place in their heart still,
it means they're definitely still not over you and they are probably still feeling very
strong feelings for you.
And just like we talked about with the previous sign, that's going to put a lot of pressure
on the new relationship.
If you're in a relationship with someone new and you find out that they're
still thinking about their ex a lot are...
Still having a lot of strong feelings for their ex, that's probably going to be something
that's not desirable and you're going to probably have a lot of long and very serious talks
about that that may end up dissolving the relationship.
The third thing... the third sign that your ex's rebound relationship might
fail or might have some trouble is if their new relationship jumped up really fast to
the level that your relationship was with them, OK?
So, maybe it took you and your ex, when you first started dating, maybe it took you a
couple of weeks to get steady and then maybe a couple of months before we moved in together.
And I don't know how serious you and your ex were, but maybe you talked about getting
married or something like that and maybe that took a couple of years or whatever.
I don't know.
But if your ex and this new person, their rebound, are just shooting up that super-fast,
it's like we've been together for two weeks and we're already moving in together and maybe
we'll get married next month.
I don't know.
That is a huge sign that that relationship is going to have some trouble.
And what is essentially happening here is your ex is trying to recreate the
relationship that they had with you but with a new person, OK?
They're trying to elevate that new relationship to the level of the relationship that they
had with you, OK?
So essentially their relationship that they are having is revolving all around you, just
there is a different person in the relationship that's not you.
And that, I shouldn't have to say this, but that is a very, very bad place to have a long
term successful relationship with somebody.
So, if they're getting engaged or moving in together or something, and they've only been
together for a couple of weeks...
Number one, they're really trying to replicate the relationship they had with you with their
new relationship and that's bad for a lot of reasons.
But also, number two, they're also skipping a lot of getting-to-know-each-other parts
of the relationship and they're just liking the idea of having a committed relationship.
Liking the idea of being in a relationship, without necessarily knowing
who they're in their relationship with.
So they're not really getting to know each other, they're not really worrying about each
other.
And when they discover weird things about each other, and they're already super-knee
deep into their relationship, they already signed the 12 month lease, they've already
got the engagement ring, they've already... maybe they've already gotten married.
I don't know.
But when they do that and it's like "Whoa!
Wait a minute!
You are addicted to pornography?!?" or "You are still talking to your ex?!?" or "You want
to move to Austin?!?" or whatever...
Suddenly, that is going to put a huge amount of pressure on their new relationship and
it's going to make them recoil a little bit like "Whoa!
Who am I in a relationship with?
Who are you?
Maybe we did rush this too much!
Maybe we shouldn't be together!"
And that is a huge sign that the relationship is going to crumble apart when they go way
too fast, OK?
So those are the three signs that your ex's rebound relationship is going to have some
trouble or maybe even flat out fail.
I hope this helps you out.
I hope this gives you a little bit of insight into maybe your ex's rebound relationship.
And if you'd like some help on how to get back together with your ex, whether or not
they are in a rebound relationship, please head on over to relationshipinnergame.com
and sign up there.
I'd love to help you out.
And I'd love to start helping you make some progress on getting back together with the
person that you love.
So again this has been Clay from Relationship Inner Game.
And thank you for watching this video and I'll see you next time.