how much control do you actually have over reality keep watching this is life
mastery gym I'm Damon Cart and I teach people just like you cutting-edge NLP
processes and techniques so that you can master your life and take charge of your
destiny so if that sounds good make sure you click that subscribe button right
down here so you can get these videos on a regular basis so be forewarned this
can get a little complicated and I'm trying to make it as simple as I
possibly can but if it's not making a whole lot of sense to you there is a
link in the description below if you click that link I am holding a free
webinar on Tuesday and in that webinar I will take you through some exercises
that you can get an experienced anding of this rather than just hearing me talk
about it over the several years of doing lots of NLP training nor linguistic
programming and doing a lot of practice and also teaching it and coaching it it
has been amazing to discover what reality is really made up of so by the
end of this video you're going to have a much better understanding of what
actually do you have within your control of the actual reality that you live in
now before I get into this if you have any comments or questions make sure you
put them right down here in the comments section and I will respond to you so the
three things that I'm going to cover in this video is first of all that your
reality is not based on what you think it is it's actually based on your
perception the second part that I'm going to cover is that your relationship
to yourself isn't really a relationship at all and then the third part is I'm
going to go into where NLP and Eastern philosophy meet because it actually gets
very very interesting so let's get started reality is based on your
perception not reality itself you might be thinking no that's not true
Damon I know think there are certain things that are true and there are
certain things that I just perceive a certain way or I have certain beliefs
but here's how it really works you have your five senses now people
like to argue that there is a sixth sense or there's extra senses have at it
and you can argue that all you want all we know of is that we have five senses
so those themselves or their own sort of filters they're their own sort of
limitations because there was once a point of time many millions of years ago
that this idea of an eye or the eye itself however you want to say that eyes
didn't exist and gradually through evolution there was a way of bringing
cells together and I guess somehow a neurology and nerves that suddenly you
have this thing called eyesight until then no living organism had eyesight so
you have these five senses that have been developed to take in the reality
around you take an objective sensory based information there could well be
more information out there that we just don't have the senses to detect so
there's your first level of perception you can only perceive what your
neurology can bring into it would you can only perceive what you can sense
so as you're receiving this information you have to manage it somehow you can't
be focused on all this information at one time and this is why we have this
sort of split between a consciousness and an unconsciousness so everything
that is not in your conscious awareness we can say is in your unconscious and
that can be anything from your heart beating you know we don't consciously
make our heartbeat to just memories that you've had that you don't think of
anymore they're not front of mine they're not in your conscious awareness
but they're in there somewhere and they do affect your consciousness so
as all this information comes in you find a way to manage it I'll go into
much more detail about this in another video about how we delete the stored and
generalized information which is what NLP is based on but anyway we'll just go
to the this idea that we manage this information we can't process it all at
one all at once we can't be thinking about it all at once so we turn it into
a map a map of reality and so that map just like any other map that we
useful because we can get an abbreviated version of the territory and so now we
have some sort of greater perspective of it if you think about you look at a map
on your phone it's not the actual territory there's the map and then
there's the territory and there's no reason why you'd want to completely
recreate the territory and it would not be useful anymore the map is useful
because we can hold it in our hand and get a maybe a bird's eye perspective or
we can have a different perspective of the map but it's not going to be the
total perspective so that perspective that perception is how we perceive
things in our reality we have an internal map it's not everything
it's generalized it's distorted it's deleted or information is deleted but we
we create a sort of generalized map of what we think our reality is and this
just doesn't have to do with how we perceive the world around us this also
has to do with how we perceive ourselves and also how we perceive ourselves is
also what we project onto the world around us so what we believe to be true
inevitably affects who we think we are and who we think we are inevitably
affects what we believe our reality is that we're living in now this brings me
to the second part which is you are not really having in a relationship with
yourself and this is so common in self development self-improvement self-help
we hear things like well I need to love myself more or you'll hear these gurus
say you need more self-respect or you need to love yourself more and when I
hear this I know where that comes from I I know that feeling I know that sense
I've been there I've been in that trapped in that duality where I feel
like there is sort of myself and then this other self and then there's this
other self that sort of observes my true self and makes comments on it and I'm
sure most people have that experience is sort of how we're critical of ourselves
you know you have that voice in the background that's kind of commenting on
everything and when we entertain these ideas of like my relationship
myself what we're really talking about is we're talking about a relationship to
our perceived self it's not actually real it's a concept there is no way that
you could have a relationship with yourself that means you would have to
have a part of you that is outside of you that's sort of relating to the you
that's here and that just doesn't make any sense but we do have we do create a
self-concept some people refer to that as the ego some people refer to that as
your self-image but we forget that it's conceptual we forget that it's that it's
not real and we start buying into this idea that there really is sort of this
relationship to self and that actually creates a lot more problems than it
solves and now this brings me to this connection between NLP and Eastern
thinking or Eastern philosophy now before I got into NLP I had gone head
first into Zen Buddhism and non-duality and I learned many wonderful things in
those philosophies you can even call them religions or disciplines and at the
end of it though I get to a point where it just it wasn't fulfilling it didn't
answer the questions that I wanted answered primarily because what I was
looking for was something more practical more applicable like I it's great to get
a sit and I used to do this sit up or I used to sit for three hours meditating
and yes it felt good yes I've had some insights but it wasn't really creating
the light creating the life that I wanted to live and I really wasn't
actually feeling better about myself I was still sort of caught in that duality
of self and other and me commenting on myself and then me saying okay well I'm
not happy with myself and I'm not sure that I love myself and am i showing
myself enough self respect I was still caught in that even though
philosophically I understood that that was creating all of my problems and
where I think many people go wrong not just in NLP but in self all self
development and self improvement is this idea that I'm going to sort of cultivate
I'm going to I'm going to clean up I'm going to empower this self that I'm
having a relationship with and actually that usually leads to
arrogance that leads to greater egotism and it just feeds that duality even more
which creates more conflict and creates more problems because I'm trying to push
and create and cultivate myself which is just an idea and it's not working
because I look around me and my life hasn't changed and it's not becoming the
successful life that I wanted it to be or that I hoped it would be and others
aren't perceiving me as this great pristine person that I feel like I'm
trying to cultivate through affirmations and through getting outside validation
from accomplishing goals and being successful for some reason it's just not
working so what is the answer what am I getting at here and you might be
thinking Damon you're just making me feel worse about this I do all this
stuff in personal development and I do the Zen and the the Buddhism and the non
duality stuff and you're basically telling me that's all wrong well no I'm
not I'm actually not there is a way and there and there's multiple ways and a
lot of what is in personal development and self-help and zen and non duality
it's all there all that you need is actually there the most important thing
to understand is that there is no relationship to self you are yet there
is no way that you can actually step outside of yourself and judge yourself
and judge your Worth and say that you are of high worth or of low worth there
is no self and other and the more you understand this the more you dissolve
this idea about there being a self another and you just be and you just
become then there's no conflict there's there's no back-and-forth and that's
ultimately what I think duality and Buddhism is trying to get across but if
there's ever this ideal that you're trying to become and that you're trying
to push yourself into becoming and that you're trying to sort of cultivate
there's going to be that push back unless unless you understand that there
is no self-image there is no or this generalization you make about yourself
this self-concept is exactly that a concept and when you fully understand
that then changing it becomes a lot easier
changing yourself when you realize it's not real well it becomes very easy it
becomes what you want it to be and when you make those changes and in yourself
and you don't take it too serious that will affect your reality your reality
will you will have the experience of your reality shifting and changing now
this does come with a warning because done the wrong way it can make you
delusional and detached from what we call reality of course what I just
explained that you know the reality is made up anyway but there is a certain
accuracy there is an accuracy where you know if I see a tree and I point when I
say that's a tree well it is a tree and I can we can devolve into this or
digress into this well it's only a tree because we call it
a tree bla bla bla and that's not that doesn't that's not useful but there is a
certain amount of accuracy so think about the map again and the territory if
the map is inaccurate it's not useful to you so we go back to thinking in terms
of more about usefulness you want to create a useful sense of self
all the while understanding that it's not actually real it has more to do with
what you pay attention to in your life so you have all of these experiences if
you put more attention on the mistakes that you've made and on the problems
that have happened in your life you're likely that's that becomes your reality
so therefore you have a problematic life with lots of issues and lots of mistakes
that you're making however if you put more of your attention on what is
working in your life and where you want to go in your life and what you value
what you want who you want to become and at the same time acknowledging that
you're imperfect that you will make mistakes then this is the this is the
road this is the route to getting to what I'm talking about where you
dissolve that idea that there are two parts of you or that there's self and
then there's other and then there's an other that's always judging yourself so
ultimately what we're doing here is cultivating a perception you want to
cultivate a perception based on your actual experiences so that it creates
the reality around you that is conducive to the person you want to become
at the same time creating the you that you want to be and that you want to
become based on actual experiences and based on who you want to become in the
life you want to create going forward and it is complicated as this might have
sounded it's not actually all that complicated it's actually a lot simpler
if you know what you're doing if you found this a bit confusing I understand
I was there and if you want to learn more about this it really really need to
experience it it's not something that we can intellectualize too much this is why
listening to certain gurus or listening to Eastern philosophy well it feels good
it sounds good but it doesn't always seem to come
together it's really something you need to experience so if you want to
experience that then you want to sign up for this free webinar that I'm doing
it's in a few days and if you go to the description right down here below you'll
see that there's a link click on that link and you'll see how they how you can
sign up for this free webinar if you like this video make sure you give it a
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