>> Stephen: HEY EVERYBODY!
WE'RE BACK WITH MICHELLE OBAMA.
AUTHOR OF THE NEW BOOK,
"BECOMING" AVAILABLE NOW.
HE WAS NAMED BARACK OBAMA.
>> THAT'S THE GUY.
>> Stephen: YOU STARTED DATING
HIM.
DO YOU RECOMMEND WORKPLACE
ROMANCES?
(
>> YEAH!
>> Stephen: JUST IN CASE ANYONE
FROM H.R. IS WATCHING.
>> THEY WORKED OUT FINE FOR ME.
YEAH, YEAH.
E WASN'T
HOT ON THE IDEA OF MARRIAGE.
>> YOU KNOW, HE-- HE WAS MORE
HOT ON IT.
HE WAS JUST BEING HIMSELF-- HE
MADE AN ARGUMENT OUT OF IT,
RIGHT?
>> Stephen: HE MADE AN
ARGUMENT THAT MARRIAGE WAS NOT
NECESSARY.
>> EXACTLY.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NOT THE
SORT OF THING YOU WANT TO HEAR,
THOUGH.
>> WELL, EXACTLY, THAT WOULD
SPARK AN ARGUMENT, WHICH HE
LIKED TO DO.
SO WE WOULD HAVE THESE DEEP
DISCUSSIONS ABOUT WHETHER
MARRIAGE WAS REALLY NECESSARY IF
TWO PEOPLE REALLY LOVED EACH
OTHER, AND HE WOULD MAKE HIS
LAWYERLY ARGUMENTS.
AND I WOULD BE IRRITATED.
AND THAT'S HOW HE DECIDED TO
PROPOSE TO ME, BY STARTING THAT
ARGUMENT AT DINNER ON-- ON THE
NIGHT HE--
>> Stephen: HE RAISED THE
IDEA.
>> HE WAS LIKE, "YOU KNOW, LET'S
TALK ABOUT THIS MARRIAGE THING
AND HOW, YOU KNOW, I'M NOT SURE
IT'S REALLY THAT..." AND HE GOT
ME REVVED UP --
>> Stephen: YOU GUYS WERE OUT
AT DINNER.
>> A DINNER SUPPOSEDLY
CELEBRATING THE IN FACT HE HAD
FINISHED THE BAR EXAM.
SO THIS WAS A CELEBRATORY
DINNER.
AND SO HE --
>> Stephen: HE BRINGS IT UP
OUT OF NOWHERE.
>> HE PICKS A FIGHT.
( LAUGHTER )
AND SO I DELIVER BECAUSE I, TOO,
AM A LAWYER.
AND I HAVE MY POINTS TO BE MADE.
SO I WAS IN FULL MAKING MY
POINT, AND I WAS LIKE, "AND 3,
AND "A," AND IF YOU THINK, AND
DA-DA-DA."
AND BY THEN DESSERT WAS COMING
OUT.
AND THE WAITER PUT A PLATTER IN
FRONT OF ME WITH A LITTLE BOX
WITH A RING ON IT.
AND MET MIDDLE OF THE ARGUMENT I
WAS LIKE, "WHAT!
WHAT!
"
( LAUGHTER )
AND I OPENED IT UP-- HE OPENED
UP THE BOX, AND HE SAID, "NOW
THAT OUGHT TO SHUT YOU UP."
( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
IT DID.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
>> IT DID.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
NOW, YOU WERE A PARTNER, YOU
KNOW.
YOU HAVE VERY MUCH OF A
PARTNERSHIP MARRIAGE, AND YOU
WERE A SOUNDING BOARD FOR YOUR
HUSBAND WHEN HE BECAME PRESIDENT
OF THE UNITED STATES.
WAS THE SOUND YOU MAKE ALWAYS A
HAPPY SOUND OR DID HE BOUNCE
IDEAS OFF OF YOU AS PRESIDENT
AND YOU GO, "I DON'T LIKE THAT."
>> YOU KNOW, I TRIED TO MAKE
HOME A SAFE PLACE FROM THE
POLICY TALK.
I-- I DIDN'T WANT TO BE YET
ANOTHER PERSON IN HIS EAR
SAYING, "YOU SHOULD DO THIS.
AND YOU SHOULD DO THAT."
I MEAN, EVERYONE IN THE WORLD
THINKS THAT THEY CAN COACH THE
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.
IT'S ALWAYS AMAZING TO ME.
IT'S LIKE PEOPLE WON'T TELL
THEIR DENTIST WHAT TO DO, BULL
OF BUT THEY FEEL THEY CAN-- YOU
KNOW, THEY KNOW MORE THAN THE
COMMANDER IN CHIEF WHEN IT COMES
TO A LOT OF ISSUES.
SO HE WOULD GET A LOT OF THAT--
C.E.O.s AND HOT-SHOT FOLKS AND
EVERYBODY COMING BY TELLING HIM,
"YOU SHOULD DO THIS BETTER AND
YOU SHOULD DO THIS DIFFERENTLY."
AND I FELT LIKE WHEN HE CAME UP
THAT ELEVATOR AND CAME HOME FOR
DINNER THAT WE WOULDN'T DO THAT
AT OUR DINNER TABLE.
>> Stephen: SO YOU WOULD NEVER
SAY WHEN HE CAME IN, "I KNOW
WHAT YOU DID AT WORK TODAY."
>> NO, IF I WANTED TO-- IF I
WANTED TO DELIVER A REAL MESSAGE
I DID IT THROUGH STAFFS.
SO I HAD MY CHIEF OF STAFF TALK
TO HIS CHIEF OF STAFF, WHICH WAS
THE SAME THING, ESSENTIALLY, BUT
IT AVOIDED US HAVING DISCUSSIONS
ABOUT STUFF AT HOME.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
>> SO WE HAD-- WE HAD
INTERMEDIARIES WHEN IT CAME TO
BUSINESS.
IT'S LIKE, "GO TELL THEM..."
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: WOULD YOU, LIKE--
LIKE WHAT SORT OF THINGS WOULD
YOU HAVE YOUR STAFF TELL HIS
STAFF?
LIKE, GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE ABOUT
ANYTHING.
( LAUGHTER )
>> I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING OFF
OF HAND.
WE DON'T HAVE TIME.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: DO WE HAVE TIME?
I'VE BEEN TOLD WE HAVE PLENTY OF
TIME.
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
NOT--
>> IT'S LIKE, "WE HAVE TIME."
>> Stephen: PLENTY OF TIME.
NO?
>> THAT'S PILLOW TALK.
>> Stephen: OKAY, OKAY.
>> THAT'S OFFICE PILLOW TALK
THAT I WON'T SHARE.
IT'S NOT IN THE BOOK, BUT I
TENDED TO TRY TO STAY AWAY FROM
TELLING MY HUSBAND WHAT TO DO
FROM A POLICY PERSPECTIVE.
AND HERE'S THE THING-- I USUALLY
AGREED WITH HIM ON EVERYTHING HE
DID.
I-- I-- I THOUGHT THAT HIS
POSITIONS GENERALLY ALIGNED WITH
WHAT I BELIEVED --
>> Stephen: AND THE TIMES YOU
DIDN'T AGREE?
>> IT WOULD BE ON SMALL THINGS.
IT WOULD BE ON THINGS LIKE, YOU
KNOW, HOW YOU REACH OUT TO THE
PUBLIC.
YOU KNOW, HOW MUCH FORMAL STUFF
YOU NEEDED TO DO.
HOW MANY TIMES YOU NEEDED TO DO
SOMETHING IN THE ROSE GARDEN
VERSUS BEING OUT WITH PEOPLE,
YOU KNOW.
THERE WAS ALWAYS SORT OF AN
OPTICS SENSE ON THE WEST WING
SIDE.
AND I TELL THE STORY ABOUT
OPTICS.
IT'S LIKE EVEN WHEN WE WANTED TO
DO THE FIRST HALLOWEEN PARTY,
YOU'D HAVE PEOPLE ON THE WEST
WING WHO WOULD SAY, "SHOULD WE
REALLY BE CELEBRATING HALLOWEEN
WHEN THERE'S AN ECONOMIC
CRISIS?"
AND IT WAS LIKE, "IT'S
HALLOWEEN, DUDES, COME ON.
YOU KNOW.
KIDS STILL NEED TO TRICK OR
TREAT."
SO THERE'S A-- A LOT OF TIMES I
WOULD HAVE TO ENCOURAGE THEM TO
LIGHTEN UP A BIT.
BECAUSE THE COUNTRY NEEDS
SERIOUSNESS, BUT THEY NEED JOY
AT THE SAME TIME.
EVEN WHEN --
>> Stephen: ALSO NEEDS EYE
COMPLETELY AGREE.
( APPLAUSE )
WHEN PEOPLE LOOK TO THE FIRST
FAMILY, F.D.R. SAID THE
PRESIDENCY WAS ESSENTIALLY A
MORAL POSITION.
AND PEOPLE LOOKED TO THE
PRESIDENT FOR A MORAL CENTER FOR
THE COUNTRY AND TO LOOK TO THE
FIRST FAMILY TO SET THAT
EXAMPLE.
WHAT WAS THAT LIKE?
HOW DID YOUR OWN FAMILY'S
MORALITY AND THE MORALITY YOU
WERE RAISED WITH HERE, HOW DID
THAT INFORM THE SORT OF PUBLIC
MORALITY THAT IS PART OF BEING
THE EXAMPLE FAMILY FOR AMERICA?
DID YOU GUYS EVER TALK ABOUT
THAT, THE PRESSURE OF THAT?
>> WELL, BEING THE FIRST OF
ANY-- YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE THE
FIRST OF ANYTHING, THE BAR FEELS
HIGHER.
YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE-- YOU
DON'T HAVE ROOM TO MAKE
MISTAKES.
ONE OF THE THINGS I DON'T TALK
ABOUT IN THE BOOK BUT I TALK
ABOUT ON THE ROAD IS THAT I DO
REMEMBER THAT AT THE END OF--
THAT LAST FLIGHT THAT WE TOOK
OUT WHEN I WAS LEAVING FROM THE
CAPITOL, AND WE WAVED.
WE GOT ON AIR FORCE ONE THE LAST
TIME.
I FORGOT ABOUT THIS, BECAUSE I
DIDN'T PUT IT IN THE BOOK.
BUT A FRIEND OF MINE REMINDED ME
THEY CRIED FOR ABOUT 30 MINUTES.
AND IT WAS JUST THE RELEASE OF
EIGHT YEARS OF FEELING LIKE WE
HAD TO DO EVERYTHING PERFECTLY,
THAT THERE WASN'T A MARGIN OF
ERROR, THAT WE COULDN'T MAKE
MISTAKES, THAT WE COULDN'T--
THAT WE COULDN'T SLIP, THAT OUR
TONE HAD TO BE PERFECT.
BECAUSE THAT WAS-- THAT WAS THE
BAR THAT WAS SET FOR US.
BUT IT WAS ALSO THE BAR THAT WE
ALWAYS SET FOR OURSELVES.
THINKING THATAS THE FIRST,
PEOPLE WILL MEASURE EVERYONE OF
OUR RACE, OF OUR GENDER BY WHAT
WE DO.
AND THERE IS PRESSURE THERETHAT
COMES WITH THAT.
SO THAT'S HOW WE CARRIED
OURSELVES.
AND THAT HAD TO TRICKLE DOWN TO
ALL OF OUR STAFF.
SO THE PRESSURE WAS ON EVERYONE.
WE COULDN'T AFFORD TO MAKE A
MISTAKE.
WE COULDN'T AFFORD TO LOOK
CAVALIER.
WE HAD TO WATCH OUR LANGUAGE.
AND WE ALSO KNEW THAT EVERYTHING
WE SAID, WE THOUGHT ABOUT HOW IT
WOULD BE VIEWED BY CHILDREN, NOT
JUST OUR CHILDREN, BUT ALL OF
OUR CHILDREN.
WE-- WE KNEW THAT WE-- WE WERE
THE MORAL COMPASS, SO WE HAD TO
SPEAK CAREFULLY AND CLEARLY AND
INTELLIGENTLY, AND WE COULDN'T
JUST SAY THINGS OFF THE CUFF.
NOW --
>> Stephen: NOW HOLD ON.
( LAUGHTER )
YOU KNOW MY NEXT QUESTION.
>> SO, SO --
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW MY NEXT
QUESTION.
( APPLAUSE )
MAY I ASK IT?
>> YOU CAN ASK IT.
>> Stephen: THE QUESTION IS
THAT AS PEOPLE-- PEOPLE WHO TOOK
THAT MORAL POSITION SERIOUSLY--
AND TAIS SERIOUS POSITION-- HOW
DOES IT FEEL TO SEE THE NEXT
OCCUPANT, AT LEAST OF THE OVAL
OFFICE, I CAN'T SPEAK TO ANYONE
ELSE'S FAMILY, WHO SEEMS
INDIFFERENT ABOUT THAT
RESPONSIBILITY?
>> I HAVE BEEN VERY CLEAR ABOUT
HOW I FELT ABOUT THAT.
I GAVE A SPEECH ABOUT IT AT THE
2016 CONVENTION.
THE QUESTION THAT WE HAVE TO ASK
OURSELVES IS HOW DOES THE
COUNTRY FEEL ABOUT IT?
BECAUSE I DON'T THINK IT MATTERS
HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT.
I FELT-- I FELT TORN ABOUT IT
FROM THE DAY I WATCHED IT
HAPPEN.
BUT NOW THE COUNTRY HAS TO ASK
ITSELF WHAT DO WE WANT?
WHAT IS THE BAR THAT WE'RE
SETTING FOR OURSELVES?
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU OR I
THINK AT THIS POINT.
IT'S UP TO THE VOTERS NOW TO
FIGURE OUT WHAT DO WE-- WHAT
KIND OF MORAL LEADERSHIP DO WE
DEMAND IN THE WHITE HOUSE,
REGARDLESS OF PARTY, REGARDLESS
OF RACE, REGARDLESS OF GENDER,
REGARDLESS OF WHERE YOU AREA,
WHAT DO WE WANT OUR PRESIDENT TO
LOOK LIKE?
HOW DO WE WANT THEM TO ACT?
AND IF WE VOTE FOR ONE SET OF
BEHAVIOR, THEN THAT'S,
OBVIOUSLY, WHAT WE WANT.
AND SUNTIL WE VOTE DIFFERENTLY.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT
BACK WITH MORE FORMER FIRST LADY
MICHELLE OBAMA.