I was with a narcissist.
There are things that I saw that
are just not what we talked about.
Probably forever gonna be sad for
hurting her.
The overall experience was a lot for me.
I could cry. I'm going to- I won't-
I can't do it. I've cried enough.
I don't want to cry anymore.
Post reunion
Lexi's lifestyle really changed
and our paths were kind of
going on different directions,
and we both had a conversation
where we just sat down and said,
I don't think that this is
for us anymore.
Rae and I really,
truly had a lot of great moments
over the year after filming ended.
There was a lot of highs,
but there was also some lows
that I think we were
really trying to work through things
that still weren't sitting properly
that we experienced
on the show, things that she had done
when she was in her trial marriage
that like
we just were having trouble getting past
or having trouble putting answers
to why things were
done the way they were done.
The final straw that made me walk
out of the reunion,
I realize as everything was going on
in current time,
that this was a snapshot
of the ugly parts
of the relationship that we had.
I felt like I was being gaslit
on stage to the point
where no matter what I did,
if I would defend myself,
it would be a problem.
If I would not say anything
I feel like
it would be a disservice to my soul.
If I walked away
I would be called names.
So it just got to a point where
I realized that
I'm not in this relationship anymore.
I don't have to worry
about what she thinks
if I leave.
I can understand
why somebody were to just storm off.
But at the same time, I'm still confused,
conflicted, not understanding, like,
you know, the situation.
I felt very sad
because, you know,
that is somebody
that I want
to spend the rest of my life with.
So, you know, there's a sad feeling.
But overall, I mean, I understand
I don't like having regrets.
So it's not necessarily that.
It's that when you live your daily life
typically
you are not forced to face what you said
and what you did
and how you reacted
over and over, permanently.
So that's been a really hard thing
to experience,
like to watch back who I was then,
but I guess I don't regret anything
because I'm really happy
to be where we are now.
I knew that
I was not going to propose to Vanessa
after the first week.
After having some space away from her
and seeing a lot of things
that I had not seen before.
Her interactions, how she spoke to me,
it was very telling.
I was like, this is not necessarily
the person that I feel like that I
that I envisioned for myself.
I decided to propose with a
rock at first
because I just wanted
to get a reaction out of Sam
because she been talking about a rock
for the longest time.
I just thought, you know,
this is what I'm going to like
tease her with.
Best friends. Family.
That's my girl.
You know, Lexi and I
I don't think
in the wild
we would have ever crossed
each other's paths.
We just weren't in each other's
ethos at all.
And it ended up being something
really, really fantastic.
That is my girl. She's a rider.
She poured into me in ways
I didn't even know that I needed.
She's somebody that I know
will be in my life forever
in whatever regard that’s in
whether it ever becomes
more or less friendship, love, like,
I just truly feel like I'm
the luckiest person in the world
to just be able to have her in my life.
And I'm super grateful.
I love dogs.
That's why
I had to get to the point
where I knew it wasn't about me.
I had to catch myself
because I was almost trying to defend
like, No, I love animals.
I worked at a groomers and I was like,
why am I trying to prove to somebody
that, like,
I like animals?
Like, this doesn't even make sense?
So that's when I had
this realization of like,
okay, it's not about me.
I just need to like, hold the space
for someone who's like,
going through something
and learning about,
like how Shiloh came into Tiff’s life.
That just like added perspective to it.
And from then it was like,
okay, now we can move forward.
I would have told Tiff that like,
you know, thank you
for the time that we spent together.
And, you know,
I wish them well
and I hope
that everything works out
for everybody and that,
you know, everything is okay.
No, me Speak to Vanessa, like, what? No.
We don't have each other's numbers.
I'm for sure
blocked on Instagram.
So wish Vanessa all the best.
Just truly in a different zip code.
Okay, I'll say this-
Me and Xander waited about a week
before having sex.
It looked like we did it
right off the bat. We didn’t.
We waited a week
and we very much
did not do anything under the cameras.
I mean, they were everywhere.
I mean, we’d always go
into the walk-in closet,
just like out of respect.
I would put the TV on loud,
like we would do whatever we could do.
So we didn’t-
We waited just to make sure,
like it wasn't just like a sexual thing, and like a
I'm starved for affection
So this is why I'm like, doing this.
Like, we really want to make sure, like,
we're actually into each other.
We have this connection.
There's mutual interest and, like,
life partnership there, you know,
because once you start
fucking like, you're,
you know, that that's what you do.
What’s your current relationship status?
My current relationship status is
staying hydrated and minding my business.