♪♪
[cheering]
All right, kids, I'm gonna go check
on the tetherball courts.
Play nice, or don't. I don't care.
[audience laughter]
Okay, Miss Thomas!
We promise to play nice...
when H-E-double-C-K freezes over!
[audience laughter]
Please, Kaden, have mercy.
Did you just call me by my given name?
[audience laughter]
Like I was some sort of kindergartener?
[protesting]
Silence!
I mean King Kaden.
Apologies, my lord.
Respect the square, Tanner, or I will forbid double taps!
No need for harsh decrees, Your Grace.
Now, serve the ball to me.
[laughs]
You must think me mad.
I only serve to one: my faithful queen.
[gasping]
[laughter]
[crowd oohs]
[audience laughter]
I gave you my fruit snacks!
[audience laughter]
Yes, but Prince Jaden gave me his GoGurt!
[gasping]
Looks like there's a hot new royal couple in town!
[laughter]
Doesn't that make you the queen?
Still more powerful!
You will not get away with this betrayal!
I swear by the recess gods old and new--
Miss Thomas:
Um, uh, Miss Thomas, Jenny cheated!
Nuh-uh!
Kaden did!
[talking over each other]
Okay, okay.
No one likes a sore loser.
Get to the back of the line, Kaden.
But--
Come on!
Snowflake kids with no consequences.
[audience laughter]
Looky here, gents.
It's our noble king!
[laughs]
Can you spare an Uncrustable for an 'umble serf?
We're not worthy!
[laughing]
Listen here, you simpleton!
You should beg for my return to power.
Beg?
You had me banished for tying my shoes!
It took five minutes!
It was hard!
It was velcro!
[audience laughter]
But King Jenny is quite amiable.
She never gets out anyone.
Yes, and when no one gets out?
Nobody gets in.
Bingo.
Blimey, that means--
She's created a playground class system
that favors the rich,
or in this case, coordinated.
[laughter]
But this is recess!
Class shouldn't be allowed!
If you want to take back the kingdom,
then let me take cutsies!
You can take cutsies all you want,
but Bobby Jenkins will never get out!
His mind is a steel trap!
Num-nums, Bobby?
Num-nums?
[screams]
No!
[cheering]
Bobby, Bobby.
You want the num-nums, Bobby?
Yes.
Okay, come on, come on.
Go get 'em, boy!
Num-nums!
[laughs confidently]
Keeping my spot warm for me, Jenny?
Bring me his head, Tanner.
Jenny has cooties!
[screams]
Tanner, you fool!
What is wrong with you?
To think I almost played tag with you!
[audience laughter]
Long live King Kaden!
He is not your king!
I am, and from now on, I will only hit to Jaden,
my faithful helpmeet.
Helpmeet?
I hear you call him a different name
behind the monkey bars.
Please, there's nothing she could possibly say
that would--
A poopy pants!
[gasping]
What did you call me?
A Poo.
Py.
Pants.
[audience laughter]
I cannot be betrayed.
I see his mind, his every intent--
My empire!
He hit the line!
That means they're both out!
No--
Long live King Kaden!
[bell rings]
[silence]
The bell has rung with an unoccupied king's square.
Which means it's automatically bestowed upon--
The last person in line!
[audience laughter]
[audience cheering]
Bow before Bobby the Tyrant!
The num-nums will fuel my reign!
The dawning of a new recess!
[audience cheering]
Hey, guys.
Thank you so much for watching that sketch.
Please subscribe, share this sketch,
comment below about your most embarassing
elementary school experience.
Mal?
When my first grade teacher was reading
James and the Giant Peach,
[laughs]