In order for cults to be successful, they have to be good at enticing followers.
Not only must they be able to recruit new members, but they must also be able to maintain
their allegiance.
Typically, conversion involves someone who is vulnerable.
That is, someone who has recently lost a friend or loved one, failed an important exam, or
otherwise feel helpless, depressed or alone.
For a vulnerable person, joining a cult can be very tempting as it often comes with some
promise of a reward: companionship, peace of mind, a place to stay, and more.
Of course, it also helps if the cult has a leader who is charismatic and adept at the
art of persuasion.
Given the appeal, how can one possibly even hope to talk a member into leaving?
How do you deprogram a cult member?
Back in the 1970’s, deprograming involved drastic measures be taken.
That is, the cult member would be physically kidnapped and dragged away from the cult.
It was an expensive service, costing upwards of tens of thousands of dollars.
So not just anyone could ask to have a friend or family member stripped apart from a cult.
After being forcefully removed against his will, the cult member would undergo hours
of intense “debriefing,” in which psychological techniques were utilized as an attempt to
counter the brainwashing that had been done to the individual while in the cult.
These psychological techniques involved educating the cult member, asking critical questions
in order to encourage the person to think in an independent way, and trying to provoke
an emotional reaction in the person that would help him reconnect with his former life.
This part was done by introducing objects from the person’s past and having family
members share memories of pre-cult life.
In essence, you could say it was conducted like an intervention of sorts.
Today, we understand that it is highly unethical to kidnap people against their will, so this
method of deprograming is no longer utilized.
Though it may be tempting to want to pull out someone forcefully and hit them with a
stroke of reality and a taste of the outside world, this method simply isn’t the answer.
As the old saying goes, “two wrongs don’t make a right,” and so it can be tough to
convince someone that their cult conducts unethical practices when you yourself just
acted unethically by kidnapping the guy to begin with.
The act of kidnapping alone also has the potential to cause a certain level of post-traumatic-stress
that could be greater than whatever events occurred in the cult, which is obviously counter-productive.
In this way, the whole operation could do more harm than good, and the person may decide
they want to return to their cult for the sake of seeking refuge.
Congratulations, your deprograming session served to reaffirm the person’s desire to
stay in their cult by helping them realize the danger of the outside world.
So, then you may be wondering how else deprogramming can be done.
Well, with any change, we know that it is far better to allow people to come to their
own conclusions and make the choice for themselves to seek help rather than act on force.
Though it may be frustrating to accept, you simply can’t control the actions and cognitions
of others.
From your perspective, you may see a loved one make an obvious mistake but, unless they
come to terms with that mistake for themselves, there’s really nothing you can do and trying
to intervene has its risk of fueling resentment and causing a rift in your relationship.
In a way, it is like watching a horror film when the lead character turns a corner, blissfully
unaware that the killer is right there.
You shout at the TV screen, yelling, “don’t go in there!”
As the viewer, you know what is in store, but you have to just sit there and watch the
character face the threat anyway.
That’s when you might hide under your blanket, shielding yourself from the anticipated moment.
This you do because you just can’t bring yourself to watch.
So, is there anything that can be done for cult members?
Or is it entirely out of your hands like watching a character make the wrong choice in a horror
film?
Thankfully, you’re not completely out of options.
Kidnapping and imprisonment may be out of favor nowadays but there is another method
that most families turn to.
This method is known as exit counseling.
Exit counseling focuses on using psychological techniques towards steering the cult member
to submit to a debriefing session voluntarily.
The job of an exit counselor is to guide the family of a cult member by introducing them
to effective communication strategies.
Family members are told not to be judgmental and to remain calm and loving.
Otherwise, they’ll only drive away the cult member, reinforcing the idea that outsiders
are not to be trusted.
The family is taught how to convince the person to consider debriefing in a gentle, non-forceful
way.
Exit counseling is successful if the cult member agrees to participate in the process.
If not, the family must come to terms with the reality of the situation.
When a cult member agrees to undergo the process, the psychological debriefing techniques that
are used are the same as they were in the 1970’s.
That is, they involve long hours of intensive sessions.
Unlike the debriefing process of the past, however, the cult member is free to leave
at any time.
As we mentioned before, you can’t force any one person into a specific course of action.
For this reason, there is no guarantee that exit counseling and cult-removal will work.
About one-third of deprogrammings tend to fail and the statistics on the success rate
of exit counseling are not definitive.
When it does work, former cult members find themselves returned to the outside world but
not without a whole new set of problems.
Some people who leave cults can go on with life after a short adjustment period while
others may struggle for longer duration.
It depends on the level of psychological damage, the type of cult, and how long the person
was in the cult.
Those who leave a totalist or destructive cult could experience severe depression or
anxiety and have trouble making decisions for themselves once released into the external
world.
This is because a totalist cult tends to exploit its members’ vulnerability as a manipulation
tactic to exercise complete control.
To do this, some unethical psychological techniques are used such as though reform, which basically
brainwashes individuals.
Another kind of cult known as the non-destructive religion type uses a different manipulation
strategy.
These cults attempt to alleviate the feeling of vulnerability by offering spiritual guidance
in order to exercise control over members.
While some may move on fairly quickly in post-cult life, others can go through something known
as “floating,” in which the former cult member shifts back and forth between cult
and non-cult ways of thinking and viewing the world.
Sometimes they can experience flashbacks.
There are also many other psychological and emotional difficulties that former cult members
may endure.
Some may experience regret for leaving because they now feel meaningless in the outside world,
unable to hold onto a job or handle money.
The cult may have provided the person with a sense of purpose and community that is now
lost to them and they may not be able to rejoin for one reason or another.
Others may feel guilt and shame from past actions, knowing they had been brainwashed
into recruiting new members and collecting money in illegitimate ways.
They may also feel guilty for past treatment of friends and family members or resentment
over their cult leaders who may have had them commit crimes or acts of violence against
others for some presumed purpose.
It may often be difficult for former members to accept their past actions and forgive themselves.
Then there’s the fear of retribution.
If a former member was a part of a particularly violent cult with a leader who threatened
the lives of defectors, that person may live with a constant sense of paranoia.
In this case, the ex-member may fear chance street meetings with cult members and the
very real danger that would accompany this.
There are many other situations too which may complicate post-cult life in the outside
world such as if the former member has family still in the cult.
Some may have left behind spouses or children and any attempt at making contact is too risky.
If a person was raised in a cult or spent most of their life there, they may lack an
understanding of the outside world that would allow them to function normally.
The list of problems is practically never ending, which can increase the difficulty
for people wanting to rejoin life outside the cult.
Overall, the consensus amongst psychologists for the best way to aid a former cult member
with reintegration into society is to provide them with an abundance of family and social
support.
Be as loving and understanding as you can and, importantly, you must exercise patience.
Understand that former cult members may be overwhelmed and terrified, questioning their
decision to leave and feeling extremely insecure and fearful.
All you can do is be sensitive to this and let the person know that you’re willing
to listen to their concerns.
What would your method of deprogramming be?
Let us know in the comments!
Now go watch “The Most Evil Cults In The History of Mankind” and see if your methods
would have worked on their members!
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See you next time!