- The guys think my job is so easy.
So today they're doing my job,
starting with this clutch of eggs that just hatched.
- [Guys] What are we doing with this clutch of eggs?
- [Brian] So what I need you to do is identify what-
- What, do you guys hear that? - animals are in that clutch-
- Oh! - and then go ahead-
- A walkie-talkie? - and set up 'em,
and mark 'em what you think they are.
Don't screw it up. - Got it.
Ready? - Roger that.
You know I'm good at this.
So we have some context clues.
The female is a Lemon Blast Het for Ghost.
I don't know what a ghost is.
The male's a Cham Het for Ghost.
- Or a champion? - So...
- Yeah, there's no such thing as a champion ball python.
- So this?
- That's probably a ghost, right,
'cause it's light like a ghost.
Right? (tires screeching)
- Well. - Well, by like pure numbers,
you're gonna get 75% ghost.
- This? - Wouldn't that be
100% ghost?
- Guys, just stop. - So this is gonna be 25%.
- Can we Google?
This is?
- Champagne Lemon Blast.
- Also known as a highway.
(crickets chirping) - No. (chuckles)
And then, this is just a- - Two?
- Fire. - What is this, Joe?
You're good at this. - It's a baby pastel.
- It's a pastel. - This is a pastel?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- It's beautiful.
No way, huh? - Yeah,
that's living one step- - Mm-hmm.
- above a normal ball python.
Can we just take the snakes next door and set them up?
- Does he just use blue cheese for the bedding?
- Yeah, it's actually feta.
- Feta cheese is- - Whoa.
- the better feta.
- Two. (Noah groans)
- [Joe] Aren't we supposed to be setting out the snakes?
- Three. - Are we supposed
to be setting up the snakes?
- He's working out- - Oh, yeah.
- Right now. - Yeah.
- Give him a break. - Okay.
- Can we just give the snakes to the girls?
- Females! - Yes.
- We agree. - Yes.
- [Joe] Can you guys set these snakes up for us?
- [Jake] But then identify 'em
and let us know what they are. - Thank you.
- Why does my dad get away with this?
- Yeah, this is easy. - This is easy.
- Easiest day ever. - Yep.
- These guys don't know anything.
They just hand us and expect us to like,
'We don't know what we're doing?'
- And they don't even know what they are.
They get 'em wrong every single time.
I have a whole aisle I take care of.
I'm not stupid.
- Those girls think we're so stupid.
They're the stupid ones. - I know.
- They're doing all our work for us.
- They thought we were gonna do that.
- Yeah, they're not even that smart.
- All right, we just finished.
I don't know what you want us to do next.
We're thinking about getting
like a two hour lunch or something,
unless you got another job for us?
- There's actually a bucket of rodents in the back.
- Ah! - I want you to dry those off
and feed all the snakes.
- Okay, that seems easy.
Take my hands?
Thank you.
- Yeah, I got you. (Jake snorts)
- Oh, it's-
- Noah!
- (bleep)
- Oh my God, bro.
- [Jake] That is the most work Joe's done.
- [Joe] Live rat.
- Ready? - You gotta do it.
- Yeah. - You gotta do it.
- You got a good one. - Yeah.
(dramatic music)
- He almost got it. - He just got it.
- I've never had a snake before, guys.
- [Noah] Ever? - Ever.
- Wait, are you for real? - Are you for real, for real?
- Off camera? - Like you've never?
- Off camera, I've never- - Okay, all right.
- fed a snake. - Now on camera, what?
- What, I've never fed a snake before.
No, I literally can't reach that.
- Yes, you can. - Pull your shirt-
- You can. - but your arm and shoulders
can go up, yeah.
(dramatic music)
- See- - Oh, shoot!
- How majestic that was. - Yup.
- [Joe] Yup, just put him right in there.
Good job, Jake.
- That was excellent. - Excellent.
(crate scratching)
- Jake? - Jake, I gotta tag you in.
- Jake no, Jake no. - Jake, you have-
No Joe, you have to do it. - to take it.
- Jake, please. - You got it, you got it.
- Jake, please, I actually can't.
Noah, can you please help me?
- Yeah, this is easy. - Thank you.
(dramatic music)
- Wow, that one is so ready.
Look at that.
- Oh! - Ooh-ho-ho!
- Oh, my hand! - He's got it.
- One more. - Almost.
- You are the dumbest snake,
I've seen. - Good job, Noah.
- I got this.
(upbeat dramatic music)
- Here we go. - There it is.
- Jake's world is about to get rocked
and he doesn't even (bleep) know it.
- What?
- There's never any pretty girls there.
They don't read here. - Man, what are you doing?
- What is that? - Here.
- No, I have no idea what to do.
- [Joe] Yes, you do. - You, grab it like this.
- What do I do, what do I do?
- Remember, head to head.
- What? - Head to head.
- I gotta give it on this side?
- Sing it to me, head to head.
- Head to head. - Noah, you do it.
- When do I feed him?
- Once I say the magic word.
- What's the magic word?
- [Noah] Right there.
- Yeah, there we go. - Right here, right here.
Right here, right here.
Put it a little closer.
Shaky-shaky.
Up, up, up, up.
- Oh!
So scary.
(guys clapping and cheering)
- [Joe] It was just one. - I wasn't as scared.
- This is a little one for this.
- Ready? - Nope, not at all.
- Slider.
- Oh God! - Slider in the air.
Oh God! - Ah!
- Ooh! - Ha-ha!
- That one's low.
- Stick it in there. - Keep, keep-
- Stick it in there. - Yeah, there you go.
- Oh nice. - Good job.
- That was weird.
- Oh shoot! - Wow.
- Yep.
Mm-hmm.
(upbeat dramatic music)
- [Noah] Oh my God.
- Okay guys, you gotta separate 'em.
- What? - Oh.
- Can't they just cuddle? - Lower it.
Good. - You got it.
Put it down now. - And stop.
- Okay, that was good.
That was good.
Whoa.
Bah!
He always eats really good.
- Taste it, bro. - He can't do it.
- [Jake] Ooh!
Oh no.
Ah, nice.
- No. - All right.
Just stand here and be ready. - [Jake] What do I do?
No wait, no.
- Head to head. - I need coaching.
- [Noah] Head to head. - [Jake] What the?
Dude, no.
- Jake, head to head. What?
Dude!
- Jake, stop. - Bro, you gotta like-
- Jake, move that back. - Move it closer.
- [Noah] Act like you're playing sports.
(guys cheering)
- Oh my God, man. - Whoa!
(cart creaking)
- I'm good.
(cart creaking) (Jake chuckling)
(glass shattering) (Jake laughing)
- All right, we're all done with feeding 'em.
Now what do you want?
- Actually, perfect timing.
Crickets just came in.
There's three boxes of crickets.
You can go over to BHB and put those crickets away.
Do not let any crickets go, right.
We don't want crickets all over the place.
Roger? (Joe groans)
- Roger, that.
- Why are we doing jobs I've never even seen him do?
- [Jake] Is that where the crickets go?
- No.
Okay, so first off.
Noah, do we have small or large crickets?
- No, I don't know.
- Hold on, hold on. - I got it.
- You got it, Joe? - I got it, Jake.
- You got it? - Jake, I can do it.
(crates thudding) (glass shattering)
- (sighs) Oh my God.
We're hopeless.
So are these ones the large ones, Jessica?
- Yeah, the adult ones are the large ones.
Make sure you gut load them, though.
- What does that mean? - Gut load.
I think I heard that in biology class once.
- Jake, what are you doing? - Ah, Jake.
- We're mixing sizes. - Jake, Jake, Jake.
- [Joe] What, what?
- You can't- - Shake it.
- Lose the crickets. - I don't know how-
- Don't put crickets- - to open this.
- [Joe] on my head.
- Here we go. - I think they've already-
- Food in there. - This is the large.
- So 500?
There's two boxes of 500.
- They go together.
- Okay. - Okay, good.
- That hurts. - Yeah, yeah.
- We didn't mess up yet. - All right, cool.
- We were totally gonna do that.
- We definitely- - All right.
- almost didn't. - No.
- I mean, no. - The cricket, get it!
- Get it! - Noah, ah!
(guys screeching)
- So that was only one box.
- This was only the first box?
- Ah! - Jake!
- Oh God! - Jake!
- They're everywhere.
- Oh my God! - That was at least 10, dude.
(guys laughing)
(Jake panting)
(crate thudding)
- [Noah] Wow, look at that.
- [Joe] Jake, why are you holding the crickets though?
- You mean Carl? - 979, 980.
Only 20 left.
Wait, did I already count that one?
Wait a minute.
We haven't been separating the ones we've been counting.
- Yeah, we gotta start all over.
- All right. (sighs)
Number one.
(door hinges creaking)
- Come on guys, we gotta get some gut load stuff.
- Gotta get a gut loaf of stuff.
- [Joe] You look like your gut a little bit.
- [Noah] Thanks.
- Oh, here we go.
Ooh, Jake.
Uh-uh.
No.
Remember Clarence?
- I'll never forget.
- I still have no idea who Clarence is.
- Is that an egg?
Why do you have an egg?
- We we're trying to gut load the-
- [Jessica] No.
- You can just put this whole thing in there.
Yeah. - You have to cut it?
- Yeah, you need to cut it up.
- [Jake] I bit this one.
Is that okay? - This is a lot more work.
- It's work. - I mean, like-
- We gotta go get the scissors.
- Scissors. - This is a lot of work.
It's a lot of work.
- Hey Alyssa, will you cut this?
Will you slice this up for me, real quick?
- Yeah. - Thanks.
- Slice- - This one too.
- Okay. - Slices.
- Slices? - Yeah.
- Slices. - Yeah, thin-
- Okay. - Thin slices.
- And if you could, like a couple tablespoons of-
- Yeah, if you could just- - this on top.
- give all that to the crickets.
- Yeah. - Just like a few
or couple tablespoons on- - I got you.
Thanks - the top of the-
- And then just make sure you put the crickets
back up on the-
- On to the shelf. - Top shelf.
- Yeah. - If you need help-
- You dropped some. - Throw that away.
- It's good. - It was on the floor.
- No, it's crickets. - It's just for the crickets.
- It's fine. - It's okay.
- It'll be fine. - We'll find Maria
and have her give you a hand. - Yeah if she needs some help-
- Yeah. - We can-
- Yeah, we'll send her- - Okay.
- your way. - Oh!
Speak of the devil.
- A couple of things.
So the crickets need to be gut loaded.
Are you following? - What are you guys doing?
- Are you delegating your work off?
(knife thudding)
- Hi, dad.
What's up with this turtle pond?
I see water on the ground.
How do we fix it?
- [Brian] That is a question that only you can answer.
Go ahead and just figure out whatever you need to do
to make sure that that water stops leaking, okay?
- Oh, okay.
Epoxy.
- Oh, we're getting the epoxy from here?
Is this? - No, no, no.
It has a white.
No, it has a white lid.
- There's a P in that one. - It has-
- Peroni. - It has a white lid.
- Apar- - This is the one.
You already know that. - Oh, superior.
- See you know. - Italian.
- Yeah. - It's been so long
since I was in school.
- Maybe this is epoxy too?
- Just accept it for us, bro.
- [Clerk] It's declined, I'm sorry.
- Just-
(guys cheering)
- Hey, how are you? - Good, how are you?
- Hey, thank you very much, sir.
- Thank you. - Thanks.
- Come back and visit sometime.
All right dad, so we got the apple saucy, like you wanted.
- [Jake] That's what you said-
- [Joe] To fix the turtle tank, right?
- They gave us a really good deal.
- I said epoxy, not apple saucy.
- Apple sauce- - Epoxy.
I've never even heard of- - Epoxy?
- Epoxy. - How would apple sauce
fix a leak on a pond?
- Well, you said-
- That's what you said to get. - You're the boss, yeah.
- I thought- - I said epoxy.
- I thought you were just being fancy.
Apple saucy.
- Go back and get some epoxy.
- What the heck is epoxy?
- You like our Reptarium sign?
(upbeat playful music)
- We're looking for the foxed C's, right?
- Lubricants? - Oh my God.
- We're looking for the-
- Epoxy? - [Clerk] Aisle 19.
- [Jay] This one, maybe?
Construction adhesive by Gorilla Glue.
Heavy duty construction glue.
- Guys, I'm just really not convinced
we got the right stuff.
- [Jake] That says great stuff.
- You think it'll work good?
- Yeah, yip. - Mm-hmm.
- Oh, what's up Al?
- [Noah] How you doing on this beautiful Monday?
- Oh I'm great, how you doing?
- Good - How much is this?
- [Carson] Did it have a tag on it?
- Aisle 19, I think.
- [Jake] Yeah, it was next to the epoxy.
- You guys go to The Reptarium, or something,
to get that thing? (Joe scoffs)
- No, I don't like that place.
- He's corn-fed, dude.
- Good luck on your passion. - Yeah, you're doing good.
- See you. - Bye.
- What are you filming- - For the YouTube channel.
- Brian Barcheck. - Oh, Brian Barczyk?
- Barczyk, yeah. - Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's a bunch of vlogs.
- I've seen it. - Oh, he's seen it?
- He's seen the vlogs. - You've seen the vlogs?
- Yeah, it's good. - Carson, bye.
- Look at him - He likes us.
- [Jake] What do these guys do?
- No, what are you- - What is this?
- Did you wanna come inside or-
To the zoo? - The zoo?
- There's a zoo. - No, I'm not going there.
You're not going? - No.
- What are you up to? - Why?
- I'm going to the vet.
- Oh! - Oh!
- Yeah. - Well, I hope everything
is all right. - Nice toad.
- Thank you. - Yeah, toadally.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
- Damn. - God bless.
- Oh! - Oy!
- Ay! - Mikey!
- Hi, guys. - He can move his jaw?
- How's your- - How's your vasectomy?
- That was not what I had.
- It says you need to- - Right.
- Always wear gloves.
(bottle pops) Oh!
Found the leak. - Here.
- What are you guys doing?
- We got with the epoxy.
- Jake, that's a stupid joke.
Stop it. - I'm sorry.
- It's epoxy. - Whatever.
- Who said you could even do this?
- Well, we're dad- - Well, we're in charge-
- for the day and- - For the day, yeah.
It's leaking.
So we- - So we bought some stuff.
- We put this on here, right? - No.
- We definitely would. - We literally tie it.
It says to- - Yeah.
- And, we can't figure this one out at all.
- He says this is what he does every day.
- Yeah. - He doesn't do anything,
all day, clearly. - No.
We've put crickets away.
- We got some eggs.
Yeah. - That's fine.
All of that is well within your wheelhouse.
This is not. - Well, can you show us?
- I'm literally trying to get my work done
and then I come over here- - Well, we're trying to-
- to see- - help you out by doing this.
- No. - What if I-
- No. - just stick it-
- No. - In there?
- No, in what?
- Spray it. - And spray stuff everywhere?
- Don't spray it. - Kill the turtles.
Make a huge mess.
- Well, I don't wanna-
- Are there any- - do any of that?
- Wow. - Are you gonna
tell us what to do or...
- Yeah, I'm gonna tell you what to do. (bleep)
(cat screeching) (glass shattering)
- What?
- I guess we are Brian for the day.
- It's not dry,
so I don't think any of this is gonna stick yet.
- Jake's gonna get the towel.
- Oh my goodness. - I don't understand that.
- This is- - I don't even get that.
Where did the balloon come from?
I mean this guy's a wreck. - I'll do it.
- He doesn't know.
I'll just- - Yeah, get that.
- Just get the- - Get the right ones.
- Just, I don't think this is gonna work out with those two.
I mean, honestly. - I totally agree.
- I mean this guy- - I don't-
- He's got a balloon on the back.
All right, stop talking about it.
Yeah, so dinner? - I found the towels.
- Long John Silver's later?
- Yeah. - Okay.
- Thank you. - Hey, man!
- I appreciate it. - You watch The Reptarium?
No? - No.
- Okay. - Come on in.
- [Noah] You watch The Reptarium?
- [Jake] I'm gonna go on break.
- [Joe] We don't need you.
- Oh my God! - What the?
- [Jake] It's all individually wrapped.
- I'm gonna- - What?
- They said build your own.
So I ordered all of the pieces-
- No, it actually is. - And I'm gonna build my own.
- Isn't that what you're supposed to do?
- So...
How's it it going in there?
Is it...
Is it getting dryer or anything?
- Why don't you go get me some liquor?
(chuckles) That's what. - You get the shot glass.
I'll get the liquor.
(explosion booming)
- I found it.
Jake, can you- - You said the vacuum.
- (sighs) Can you just put this attachment on, please?
- [Jake] Yeah, absolutely.
What is that?
- No way.
No, don't tell me Clarence reincarnated.
- [Jake] That's Clarence?
- Clearance.
I missed you.
Jay, Jay, Jay, you're never gonna believe.
You never gonna believe what I found.
Clarence 2.0. - Found it in the vacuum.
- No? - No!
(Jake chuckling) - Noah.
You just have to be more gentle,
and now that's two of our kids that you've killed.
Wine and lemon cake,
and I got you a towel.
- I hate Brian so bad. (Joe chuckling)
- We have the cardboard.
- [Noah] You didn't say what kind of cardboard.
- Golly.
- Stop.
Geez.
Cardboard. - Delivery.
Give me an E. - Delivery!
- Give me an- - Give me an L.
- Ooh, whoops. - It's all right.
- Give me an E. (Lori chuckling)
- Give me an R. - Give me an R.
- And give me a Y. - Give me an L.
(vacuum humming) - I'm wondering, man.
- I've never seen my dad do this.
- Good job, Noah. (palms smacking)
- You're doing great. - Is there anything?
Ah!
- Oh-ho-ho! - Oh!
- Ah! - You should be good now.
- (groans) Oh my God!
(vacuum humming) - Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah. - Oh yip, there it is.
This is all coagulating
in the circumference of the cages.
Behind the scenes.
So we're gonna choke it out
and then we should be good to go
for the big open this weekend.
Oh!
- All right, so what what's happening here is-
- All right, the pond's all fixed.
What's next?
- I actually left my computer on the table,
right by you guys.
Do me a favor and comment back to some YouTube videos.
Now listen, I take this very seriously.
So don't mess up.
Make good comments back.
- Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, okay.
- They better not screw this one up
'cause you guys mean a lot to me.
- We'll miss you, Clarence. - You, Clarence.
- Oh my God.
Why did you guys have to remind him of Clarence?
- Clarence!
- Okay, its- (Noah wailing)
No, you're okay.
You're okay.
- I killed him twice.
- You're fine. - I'll never live up
to my promise to Octavia.
- It's okay.
- [Noah] She doesn't even talk to me anymore.
- That's it. - She doesn't love me.
- Okay. (Noah sniffling)
- [Joe] All right, perfect, thank you.
- Yeah, we don't have enough money for therapy for Noah.
- Hmm, let's see what we got here.
Oh my God, this guy.
Oh my God, here's another one.
Rest in peace, Clarence.
- Jesus. - No. (wails)
- Okay. - Noah is crying-
- Finding me- - Whoops.
- There.
- The- - The.
- Why? (sobs) - Floor.
- I love snakes.
All right, thanks Luca.
Comments like this are perfect.
This is exactly what we love to see.
I love snakes.
We do too. - Yip.
(explosion booming)
- Noah.
Noah.
- Yeah, you gotta let it go at some point.
- I don't want to talk right now.
- Noah, he's dead.
He's not coming back.
- (wails) Why?
Oh God, why?
- He's killed him both times.
I don't even feel bad for him.
All right, and we just commented back to everybody.
All 17,000.
So...
Is there anything else or are we done now?
- Oh no, we're not done by a long shot.
You can go downstairs into the colubrid room.
There's a couple clutches of baby colubrids
that just hatched out.
Go ahead and set them up and 'em up for me, okay?
(Joe sighs) - Okay.
- What are we doing with these babies?
I have literally no idea what we're doing.
No, there's no way these tiny things go in these.
We gotta take 'em upstairs.
- Oh! - Oh!
- Just the person we needed to see.
Can you put these babies up for us?
- But like in their new homes? - We don't know.
- Just wherever. - Wherever you think-
- Wherever Mr. Brian- - they're supposed to.
- would tell you to put them.
- Yes. - Yes, I'll ake care of them.
Don't worry. - But, you do-
- Because you're the one that does it, right?
- Yeah, yip. - And not him?
- Yes, right okay. - Okay good, yeah.
- But don't tell Brian we had you do it.
- Right. - We did it, yeah.
- Yep.
- I don't know. - All right,
all done with baby colubrids.
What's the next thing thing?
- I actually left the key on the counter over there.
You guys can go across the street.
We have to start cleaning that place up.
Getting ready for the expansion.
- (sighs) Okay.
- Roger.
(Noah burps) (Jake chuckles)
- I literally swallowed that.
- What does it taste like? - Chipotle.
Are we gonna go sweep next door?
- Never has he ever sweeped in his life.
We are him. - Swept?
- So we never sleep-
- Sweep. - Or sweep.
- All right we're good, let's tell him we're done.
- Come on, come one. - Let me do it this time.
- Come on.
- Hey Mr. Brian, we're all done.
We cleaned up next door.
What's next?
- Is it completely clean next door?
All clean?
- Yeah.
Yes, it's spotless.
- Yeah, I'll go check on that later.
But in the meantime, I actually have to do a banger reel
for Instagram tomorrow.
So think of something really good
that's gonna do really well on Instagram.
- Absolutely Mr. Brian, we are on it.
- What?
- What's a banger? - What's a banger?
- What are we doing?
- Oh, we're just doing this.
- No, was there like-
- Yeah, we're gonna feed Bowzer.
- Weren't we supposed to be doing something?
- Oh, man. - Ooh!
- Jake, Jake. - I'm sorry.
- I got a way better idea. - Ping.
- Why don't we toss this in Bowzer's mouth?
- That's a great idea. - Wow, that is a great idea.
- Who's gonna get him out?
- He's busy, and I have apples in my hands.
That's you.
- Let's go Jake, let's go. - Let's go Jake, let's go.
- Let's go Jake, let's go. - Wow!
Have you guys ever seen a behemoth lift up a alligator?
- [Jake] Kobe.
- Whoa! (guys cheering)
- Oh, that was radical!
- Did you get it? - Yeah!
Hey, we're wrapped up.
Ready to go.
- Okay, next thing I need you guys to do is do me a favor.
Get Paul Cuffaro on the phone
and just make sure that he's all cool with AnimalCon.
- What's AnimalCon? - What's AnimalCon?
- AnimalCon is the event
where all your favorite animal creators
are gonna be in one place,
that's Orlando,
at animalconusa.com.
I'm gonna put a link in the description.
I'm also gonna pin a comment.
You can get your tickets there.
As a matter of fact, right now.
If you use the promo code BRIAN,
you'll actually save $5 off your ticket.
That's right, animalconusa.com.
You guys aren't gonna wanna miss this one.
We're only a couple weeks away from the event.
So we need to make sure our A-listers-
- Got it. - like Paul, are set.
So go ahead and FaceTime him
and just get him on board, okay?
- Roger.
Pauly!
- Paul, my man. - What's good, buddy?
- Hey. - You know what AnimalCon is?
Right? - I will be there.
- Oh, that's perfect. - But do you promise?
- Do you pinky prom me? - Pinky?
- Pinky. - Pinky.
- Curl it. - Curl it.
- Spin it. - Shake it.
- Shake it. - Ay!
- Kiss your thumb. - Wait, just a sec.
- Kiss the thumb. - Yeah!
- Awesome, guys! - There we go!
- Paul, you're the man. - Pauly!
- All right, what time are you gonna be there
'cause we need you at like 4:30 in the morning?
- No, 5:30. - Just skip breakfast.
- 5:30. - Six.
- 5:30. - Six in the morning.
- Six in the morning. - 5:30?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- We need somebody to make the coffee, you know,
and we just figured- - Gotcha, gotcha.
- Yeah. - I'll try and get there-
- Put the chairs out- - By 3:00 AM.
- 3:00 AM, my man. - I'll be there at 3:00 AM.
- That sounds like a plan. - My man.
- Paul, Paul. - And that's why
you're the best in the business, all right?
- We appreciate you, Paul. - Thank you, sir.
- All right, Paul. - All right, all right.
- See you, man. - See ya.
- See you there. - Hey, see ya there.
- All right. - The 26th.
- [Brian] Hope you guys enjoyed today's video.
If you did, there's a playlist
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You can also hit that subscription button.
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Have a wonderful day, Reptile Army.
Remember, be kind to someone
and I promise I'll see you in the next one.