- So we're in a series on what men find highly attractive.
And today, I wanna share with you one quality
that we haven't talked about in a while.
You know, Ralph Waldo Emerson has a great quote,
where he says, "Who you are speaks so loudly.
"I can't hear what you're saying."
Because it's about our beingness,
it's not about what we're saying so much,
but how we're saying it, how we're showing up,
and our beingness that really generates that level
of attraction in someone that we would love to be with.
And so I wanna share with you a story of a woman named Elba
who came through my coaching program,
Manifest Your Man, and a way that she showed up
that ignited massive attraction
in her man. (soft, calm music)
You see, Elba came.
She lived in Mexico, moved to Texas, and Elba is beautiful,
Elba is successful, she had a great career,
and yet she wasn't finding the love of her life.
And had to struggle in her relationships
to the point where it was taking so long
that despite being beautiful, despite being successful,
despite having all these qualities where her friends
and family would tell her, "You're so amazing.
"You're such an amazing catch.
"Why haven't you found your man yet?"
That Elba started to form a paradigm
that maybe it's not in this lifetime for her to find love.
And she started to believe those thoughts,
that maybe she couldn't find love.
Maybe you've had those thoughts.
Maybe it's been so long that you've been
on this journey to find that special someone,
really the person for you, that you've had the thought,
maybe you just might not have love in this lifetime.
And maybe you're the person that you're kinda resigned
to that idea and you've said, "Well," and made peace
with that and said, "Okay, if that's the way it's gonna be,
"then that's the way it's gonna be."
And so while Elba was entertaining that paradigm,
there was another part of her that says,
"No, I want love and I deserve love and I can have love,"
but she knew she needed to do something different.
She needed to change up the pattern
in which she was creating her results.
And so she was watching videos,
much like the way you're watching this now,
and she found some of my videos and she learned
that I do a program called Manifest Your Man,
which is this coaching program
that helps women attract the love of their life.
And so she signed up and as she was going
through this program, a short while into it, (snaps)
boom, she manifest this great guy, and they start dating.
And I'm on my coaching calls with Elba
and she's describing how great it's going.
And then, one week Elba gets on
and she's like, "That's it, Matt, I'm done.
"I think I'm gonna end it with this guy."
And I'm like, "Okay well let me ask you a couple questions."
And as she's describing to me what's going on,
she's describing how this guy it's pulling back
and he hasn't committed to her yet,
he hasn't made things official between them yet.
And so I'm like, "Well let me ask you a few questions.
"Is he showing up with, with love and is he cherishing you?
"Is he showing up with respect?"
She was like, "Well, yes."
"Is he instilled investing time with you?
"Has that changed at all?"
"Well, no, we're still seeing other
"about the same amount of time."
And I said, "Okay, is he keeping his agreements with you?"
And she said, "Yeah, he's keeping his agreements."
I said, "So the main challenge is
"that the relationship isn't progressing.
"He hasn't committed to you."
And she was like, "Yeah and he should know by now."
Now, what state of being is Elba coming from in this place?
Elba's coming from fear.
If he doesn't know by now, then what if he doesn't know?
What if I'm more into him than he's into me?
Then, my heart's gonna get broken.
So here's what happens.
When you come from fear and you pull back
or you put up your wall or your shield,
the other person senses that fear.
And they pull back because they don't wanna get hurt either.
So both people pull back and a potentially good relationship
is sabotaged 'cause here's the principle.
Fear begets fear.
But just as fear begets fear, love begets love.
Love begets love.
And so asking the question to Elba,
I asked Elba to consider, "What would love do here?
"If you really loved yourself and if you really love him,
"what would that do in this moment?
"And let me ask you this, Elba.
"If you really believed that things were gonna work out
"for you, in other words, things were gonna work out
"with him or you believed in love
"for yourself that if they didn't work out
"with him, and I know he's a great guy,
"imagine there was someone even better
"than him right behind this guy,
"and it would work out with him.
"How would you feel if you absolutely knew
"it was either this guy or someone even better still?"
And she thought about it for a moment.
And she said, "Well, I'd feel calm."
(chuckles) Instead of being all up in arms,
she said, "I would feel calm."
And she said, "I would feel confident,
"confident that no matter what happened,
"it would all work out."
And I said, "What would the calm,
"confident woman do in this moment?"
And she thought about it and she said,
"The calm, confident woman would relax.
"She'd have fun, she'd let him have his process.
"He's still showing up in all these important ways.
"So she'd let him go through his process."
This is one of the attributes
that men find highly attractive.
The woman who is calm and confident
in her love life because she knows it's gonna work out.
She knows it's either gonna work out with him
or it's gonna work out with someone even better.
So get this.
If she has that calm confidence, the man has a fear of loss
that if it doesn't work out with me,
she's gonna get someone even better
than me is what that energy subtly communicates.
And that's exactly what Elba did.
So she relaxed, she let him have his process.
And he really only took a couple weeks.
We were on another coaching call and she was like,
"Matt, I'm so excited, he asked me to be his girlfriend
"and he explained what was happening."
And ultimately, what was going on is he had pulled back
because this guy really into her in a major way and later,
it came out that the reason he pulled back was
because he was trying to decide on whether
or not he could provide for her in a way
that he knew that she deserved to be provided for.
Could he be that man?
And when he finally wrapped his mind around,
"Yeah, I can be that man," he committed.
He asked her to be as girlfriend.
The relationship deepened, it expand.
He later asked to marry her and they are now married.
And I just talked to Elba and she was saying,
"This is the relationship of my dreams.
"I'm so happy, we so love each other."
And she told me this, she goes,
"Matt, my man wanted me to tell you if he ever gets a chance
"to meet you, to brace herself
"'cause he's gonna give you a big hug because he knows
"that that moment was such a critical moment for him,
"that if I had pulled back," Elba said,
"during the time that he pulled back,
"that it probably would have sabotaged the relationship
"and we wouldn't be married today.
"And so he wanted to give you a big hug because he knows
"that you had coached me through that moment
"to just give him his time and to respect that
"and to respect myself, and that's what brought us together.
"And he found that super attractive.
"That calm and that confident during that moment,
"he was like, 'That's the woman I want to marry.'"
And so in yourself, if this resonates with you,
if you resonate with Elba's story from the standpoint
of maybe it's taking a long time
to find the love of your life.
And you're ready now, you wanna find that.
There is a part of you that knows,
you would love that for yourself.
And the part of you that knows that,
maybe some ways in which you've been attempting
to attract this person haven't worked
and you're ready for something new.
And if you would love to learn what Elba learned,
which was that proven process for having calm confidence,
and you'd love a proven system to follow,
to create some results and speed up the process,
then I wanna make that available for you.
So I'm gonna put a link in the description of this video
to the Manifest Your Man program.
There's an application because it's a limited program
and it always fills up.
And so we've got a new course starting soon.
Click the link and fill out that application
because instead of going another year of being single
and having holidays single, alone,
and feeling that pain of loneliness or traveling alone,
or having that pit in your stomach when someone says,
"You're so amazing, you're awesome!
"Why are you still single?"
'Cause we hate that question.
Instead of doing that, do something different
and manifest your man even faster so that you're
on a proven track with support in your corner.
Not just me, but a group of women who are rooting you on,
who are on that same journey.
And when you're in that environment,
not only is it way more fun, but it happens way faster.
So if that appeals to you, if that resonates with you,
I want you to know this, your man is out there.
He's looking for you right now.
You do deserve love, you are worthy of love,
and that relationship is out there right now.
And so you could take a step him right now
by clicking that link and filling out that form
because you do deserve to have the love that you want.
And I would love to support you in that.
And I would love you to hear from Elba in her words,
what her process was like, check this out.
- So my name is Elba and I'm a single mom,
and I have a five year old and I am divorced.
And after trying different alternatives
for feeling and finding the way...
to understand my relationships and in my previous marriage,
that was a very short marriage, only three years.
And I started...
to find a way to realize what I was doing wrong
and what are the things that I can do better
to have a successful relationship?
So while looking in psychotherapy and talking
with psychologists and reading a bunch of books,
I found randomly a YouTube video about Matt Boggs programs.
And after watching over and over and over,
I decided to enroll and did this Manifest Your Man program.
And after a few months later, I met this amazing man
that is my husband right now!
And I am totally happy (stammers)
and amazed with your results.
I'm grateful and I thank God and Matt Boggs
for helping me with this new life because now I know
that everything you want, as a woman, you can have it.
Like these things that your grandma said about,
"Yes you're gonna have this amazing man for you," it's true.
You will have it, but you have to work at it.
It might be just luck and you're just a lucky woman,
but if not, you might have to adjust some attitudes
that we have.
So now that I'm married to him,
I realized that yes, this man has all.
Even the tiny things that I want in a man,
he has all of them, he has all of these things
that were in my must have list.
You need to be a believer.
Yes, you need to believe in all these one,
two, three, four, five, 10 things,
20 things I wanted in a man, he has them all.
And now when I go to bed, for the first time in my life,
I go to bed and I don't have any concerns in my head.
I don't feel lonely, I don't feel afraid.
I feel that all the things that I expected
and I wanted, I have them now with him.
I feel complete and loved, every single day.
Thank you so much, Matt, and thank you.
Again, I will always feel grateful with God
and with Matt Boggs, with you because I have what I have
because of that, so thank you very much.