Oh baby, I don’t think you guys are ready for this video today.
You guys have been asking me about this every day since I told you this was in the works,
so I’m glad to know that you guys are just as excited as I am to do this.
Today I’m going to be cyberbullying my own fans, aka you guys!
And don’t worry I’m not going to make fun of how you guys look or dress, that would
be mean.
Buuuuuuuut I’m also saving that for the next video where I roast your outfits haha!
Today, I’m going to be making fun of your text conversations with girls.
I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited to make a video haha.
And fair warning, when I told you to submit your messages a few weeks ago, I told you
I’d roast them so remember you signed up for this bro!
You guys went crazy and blew up my inbox with convos so let’s take a look.
Make sure you watch til the end because the convos get juicier and juicier bro.
Now, let’s get into the first convo here, and bruh let me tell you this one is almost
too hard to believe.
Our good pal Scotty, emailed me saying “this girl is a good friend of mine and I've been
noticing some vibes from her.
I don't want to get the wrong impression if she doesn't actually like me and then ruin
our friendship by flirting with her…
Does she like me?”
Let’s take a look.
“Hey Scotty, how ya doing?
I’ve been thinking of you”
“Doing well, I think about me too sometimes haha”
Then she says, “Hard not to think about you when you have those massive arms.”
Oh man, she’s really going for it here.
Let’s see how our boy responds.
“Thank you.
They’re about arm sized last time I checked haha.
You have nice arms too.”
Seriously bro?
That’s the best you got?
“um you have nice arms too.”
Could’ve at least said something like “stop flirting with me” or “woah buy me dinner
first” like c’mon dude.
But don’t worry, I still got some faith in our boy here.
“Thanks.
I’ve been doing lots of squats.
Want a pic of how it looks?” and she adds that flirty emoji which is her basically saying
“please hookup with me dude!!!”
Things are heating up again, she just offered to send our boy nudes of her junk in the trunk.
Will Scotty successfully secure the nudes?
Find out, on the next episode of Dragonball Z!!!!
“Oh well I can’t really help you with your form.
I usually skip legs.
I’m sure you’re doing great tho”
Jesus christ man!
This girl is doing everything BUT outright telling you she’s trying to go to pound
town with you and all of her signals and hints are flying right over your head.
She goes on and asks what he’s up to now, to which he responds, playing Xbox.
She says, “Oh yea?
What would you be doing if I was there right now.
I’d love to play with you’ and then a winky face for added sexual effect.
Scotty boy says, “I’m usually playing fortnite, forza, or black ops, do you like
any of those?”
Seems like she’s losing patience now and she says “why don’t we just figure it
out once i’m there”, heavily implying that she wants him to invite her over to his
house.
Once again, it goes right over our boy Scotty’s head and he asks her what she’s doing.
And here finally, she makes it PAINFULLY obvious that she likes him and says “I’m just
texting the guy I like.”
And our man says “Oh nice, who?”
Holy cow dude, I refuse to believe this guy is this oblivious!
This can’t be real.
Even the girl goes on to call him oblivious and laugh at how ridiculous the situation
is.
He goes on to complain that he finished second in his race on his video game and then she
tries to spice it up by saying “You could finish first with me tonight.”
I don’t think it gets more obvious than this, let’ see what Scotty does.
“No I’ll go easy on you.
Have you ever played before.?”
She replies with “No but I’m sure you have something else I could play with instead”.
For those of you guys like Scotty, she’s talking about his weiner, dingaling, private
part.
And for the love of god, please Scotty TAKE THE HINT THIS TIME.
Let’s see what he says.
Let’s get a drumroll please….
“Well I guess we could play minecraft as well”.
Oh motherfucker!
That’s it.
I’m not reading anymore of this.
The biggest problem our boy Scotty has is that he’s more interesting in NOT getting
rejected than he is in dating her.
Or said another way, he is more interested in NOT losing, than he is in winning.
This is called loss aversion, and it’s a common term used in investment psychology
and decision making.
Scotty is so afraid to make a move or flirt with her even though she’s making it obvious
because he doesn’t want to get rejected.
This is common, guys get too afraid of rejection that they end up shooting themselves in the
foot and ruining their chances with girls who are totally down for them.
Don’t be afraid to take a risk and leave your comfort zone, if you want to get the
girl you like, you have to put yourself out there and make a move.
Worst case she says no, and you’re right back to where you started, you really have
nothing to lose.
With that said, let’s move on to the next conversation!
“Hey it’s Josh.”
“Heyo.”
“What are you up to.”
“Sorry I went to sleep early.”
“So how old are you, 10?”
Uh bro what the hell is that!?
You’re hitting on a girl and you decide to ask if she’s 10 years old?!
Not a good look dude.
Even just reading this conversation I feel like Chris Hansen is gonna bust into my mansion
and try to arrest me.
Now I get the joke our friend was trying to make.
He was trying to make fun of her for going to sleep early by saying, “How old are you
10?” but it just came out all wrong.
If you’re going to make a joke like that you have to give enough context so she knows
what you’re saying and doesn’t automatically assume you’re just a weirdo.
Instead I would’ve said something like, “Going to sleep so early??
What are you 10 years old with a bedtime haha” and thrown a funny emoji in there so she knows
I’m teasing her.
Adding just a little bit of context to your jokes adds so much and increases your response
rate by a ton.
Otherwise she won’t understand what’s going on and will just think you’re being
weird.
Next conversation!
Ok so this one picks up a little awkwardly, I’m clearly missing a screenshot here from
our friend Alex, c’mon bro!
Here we go.
“You better not.
I would’ve dumped you.”
She says, “Not another one.”
“Oh. you’ve been dumped before?”
“Yup like two weeks ago lol.”
“Oh so you’re saying my timing is good?
Just kidding, sorry to hear that.”
THen she says, “I’m kind of a mess right now not gonna lie.”
To which our boy Alex responds, “Now I feel bad for asking you out so soon.
I’m always down to go out and chill to help you take your mind off things whenever you’re
ready.”
And our girl thanks him.
Now this is actually pretty common, a girl just gets out of a relationship and guys will
offer to help her get over the guy and offer emotional support.
This is all types of bad.
It’s not bad to offer to be nice and help someone through a breakup, if it’s your
friend or someone you know.
But it’s bad to do this with a girl you’re trying to date because you’re essentially
friendzoning yourself by being her shoulder to cry on, instead of the guy she’s attracted
to and interested in dating.
Also, it’s a lame nice guy move to “offer” to help her through her breakup when the only
reason you’re doing it is to try and get her to date you!
It’s not actually sincere since you don’t care about her breakup, you only care about
her feeling OK enough to start dating you.
It’s dishonest AND it’ll get ya friendzoned fast.
And it’ll put you in the running for a Simp of the year award bro, I don’t want that
for you.
In situations like this, don’t dwell on her past relationship too long and just shift
the conversation back to something fun, light and flirty.
Because the truth is, if she’s even mildly interested in you, she’ll still entertain
the idea of you guys talking as long as you do your job and keep the vibe right.
And that my friends is it.
Well, it’s technically not it, I have a whole inbox full of more conversations but
this video is getting long so that’s it for today.
If you want me to do more of these let me know in the comments below, and feel free
to share some of your cringey text convos with me by emailing me at ‘ submit DOT based
zeus AT gmail DOT com.
And a special thanks to the guys who submitted these to me, thanks for letting us poke fun
at you and teach you how to get better with your text game!
And if you’re a guy out there who’s struggling in your text conversations like these guys
then click the link below and sign up for my course, The Godly Texting Guide.
Inside the course I hand you my warchest of over 100 word-for-word opening lines, attraction-building
tactics, breakdowns of real-life conversations, and my 3 letter IEC method getting her hooked
on you from the first message.
So you’ll never have to worry about having a cringey interaction like you saw today!
You’ll also learn how to get past “The Great Filter”, the single biggest thing
that’s holding you back from getting responses and dates from the girls you text.
So go get your hands on it now, it’s over 2 hours worth of content on how to message
girls and build INSANE attraction with just a few messages, regardless if it’s on Tinder,
Instagram, or Snapchat.
You’ll know exactly what to say and what to do no matter what situation you’re in!
So go click the link below and check it out before it’s too late.
Also quick sidenote before we get into it, my brand new course “Instagame” is coming
out very very soon.
The “Instagame” course is something Benjamin and I have been working on all of quarantine
and it’s probably the best course we’ve ever made.
It’s filled with hours of content showing you how to turn your Instagram profile into
a dating machine that runs on autopilot and gets you dates with the most gorgeous girls.
And the best part?
Once you setup your profile and learn my techniques for starting conversations with women via
Instagram, all the work is done.
Your profile will be a magnet for bringing the most attractive women into your life.
You’ll learn how to slide into the DMs, how to make girls DM YOU first, how to take
and edit your pictures like an influencer, and how to use online psychology to make your
profile more attractive than any other guy she follows.
So make sure you sign up at the link below to get notified when the program is released
and get your hands on it first!
You won’t want to miss this.
Zeus out!