We all have childhood wounds. No matter how good or bad our parents were when they were raising us,
all of us have some childhood trauma. it could be big, it could be small, but it affects us
as adults. most of us are not even conscious of it, but it drives the way we act as adults. we all
have unmet needs. as a child, maybe our need for love wasn't met. maybe our need for appreciation,
for being seen, for being accepted exactly the way we were, wasn't met. so what do we do when
we become adults? we start looking for boyfriends or girlfriends or partners who would meet those
unmet needs. we start looking for someone else out there to come and heal our childhood wounds.
we think, "maybe my boyfriend, my girlfriend, my husband, my wife would give me the appreciation
or love i never got as a child. maybe i will have a baby and then that baby will finally make
me feel like i'm worthy". and this all happens subconsciously. we are not even aware that we are
doing this. so essentially what we're saying is, "world, i have this problem. could you fix it?"
the world cannot fix your problem. you have to fix it. when you were a child, yes you would depend on
adults to fix your problems. but you're not a child anymore. you're a grown-up. so you
have to fix your own problems. you have to take the responsibility for your own life,
and stop putting the responsibility on others. no one owes you anything. but you
owe yourself a good life. in healing our childhood wounds, we can get help from others. for example,
a therapist. and if you have been considering therapy or counseling, i urge you to do it.
there is nothing wrong with asking for help. seeking professional help does not
make you weak. it makes you strong. i have never gone to therapy myself but i know that if i did,
it would certainly help. everyone can benefit from therapy. i have essentially been doing my own
therapy for the last 10 years through meditation, journaling and self-help books and courses.
i'm not saying that you should do exactly what i did. we all have our own paths in our growth
and healing journey. what worked for me, may not work for you. so do some experimentation,
listen to your own inner guidance and decide which path is best for you. that's exactly what i did.
i did not blindly follow any one author or expert. i absorbed the wisdom of a lot of
different teachers, but i have always listened to my own inner guidance, my own gut instinct
for deciding which steps or actions to take next. as a result of doing all this inner work,
my self-awareness, my sense of self-worth and self-love has been constantly increasing.
i'm still a work in progress, but i love how far i have come! another part of healing our
childhood wounds is forgiving our parents. we need to forgive them not for them,
but for us. if we continue to hold on to our anger and bitterness towards our parents,
it's like carrying a heavy baggage wherever we go. how far can you go if you're carrying a
heavy baggage everywhere? letting go of the anger and resentment is essential if we want to go far
in our personal growth journey. even if you had the most terrible parents in the world, they
did the best they could for you with the level of consciousness and knowledge that they had.
they had their own childhood wounds which they unconsciously passed on to you. so now it's
up to you to break the cycle of passing down your childhood wounds to your kids.
if we do not heal the trauma, it keeps getting passed on unconsciously or subconsciously to
the next generation. that is a big reason why i am working so hard to heal my wounds,
so that i don't pass them unconsciously to my kids. and i want to make it clear that growing up,
i had very loving parents. i did not suffer any physical abuse or anything. but like i said in
the beginning, even small trauma can affect us. harsh words spoken to us as children,
comparison between siblings, arguments between our parents etc all have the potential to
adversely affect our lives as adults. but at some point we have to grow up. we have to stop blaming
our parents for everything and we have to take responsibility for creating our own lives. and
forgiving our parents is a step in that direction. we essentially have to re-parent ourselves.
become the parent that you wish you had, to yourself. what you most needed to hear from
your parents, say it to yourself. if they didn't celebrate you, celebrate yourself!
to further help yourself with this, watch my video "five ways to fall in love with yourself",
because healing our childhood wounds and self-love go hand in hand. see you soon,
keep growing! we all have childhood wounds. no matter how good or bad... let's try again