Gentlemen, three tips on how to deal with adversity.
What to do when life sucks.
All right, guys, so I know life at times can be tough.
It's a roller coaster.
You've got those ups you've got those downs, but when you're in those downs you can really
feel like you're alone that you're overwhelmed that nobody understands and that life basically
sucks.
This video is for you because in today's video I'm going to give you three tips on how you
can take actionable steps to get out of this to at least deal with it when because we all
face it, we've all have these downs.
Now, one of my favorite sayings that my mom used to tell me is, I cried because I had
no shoes til I met a man who had no feet.
It's an old Persian saying and I liked it because it actually made sense putting your
situation to that relative of other people throughout the world because no matter how
bad you think you have it, there is always somebody that has it worse.
These trials these things that you're going through, they are going to make you a better
man.
Now, let's get to the tips.
Number one is to take control.
So, there are people in life who they're going to believe that everything that happens to
them is outside of their control.
It's the environment, it's the local political situation, it's, you know, all of these stuff
and it's not t heir fault and they're just going through life, but they're being affected
by things in the outside.
Don't be that person.
Instead, look at yourself and realize that I have pretty much full control of how my
life is going to turnout.
Yes, there are extreme situations; bad weather, you know, it may be your country's economic
situation, there may be a war.
I understand those are things beyond your control, but for the vast majority of your
life and other things, your day to day decisions are going to determine who your life turns
out.
All of a sudden, when you have this internal sense of control, no matter what happens all
of a sudden you start to feel better.
And I'm going to use a military example here.
So, it's one of those things when you're in the military there are times it just sucks
especially in training when you've got people yelling at you, when you're out in the field
for a week at the time.
I remember we were in Quantico, Virginia and it's freezing cold outside and we're having
to go, you know, basically in this thing called the Quigley.
We're down on the water, it's just breaking the ice.
It was horrible, freezing cold.
However, one thing I knew is that time goes forward and that I could I was literally counting
the minutes and I was playing a game in my head to be able to make it through knowing
that, okay, we're going to have to go back and we're going to have to change get into
dry clothing and they're going to have to feed us, so at least I have that to look forward
to.
Great book to go check out by the way, Viktor Frankl, Life Search for Meaning.
I love this book because this guy was in a Nazi concentration camp and he talks about
how they had taken away everything from him.
His captors literally were taking people's lives, however they could not take away the
way that he looked at himself and the way that he chose to accept things and the way
he chose to live his life even in that very limited situation.
So, when you realize, you know, I can choose how I'm going to look at this, I can actually
maintain a bit of control of what steps and what actions I'm going to take.
No matter what happens to you, you can find a way to find good in even the down situations.
Tip number two.
You want to have an emotional driver.
You want to have a reason for what you're doing, so that something that drives you through
these tough times.
So, let's take a young man wants to become a doctor.
He's got to get through four years of undergrad, three years of medical school, and then five
years of residency and internships, all those other stuff before he can call himself a doctor.
Now, that's a big [Indiscernible].
A lot of time a lot of study, a lot of pushing yourself and if you don't have a good solid
reason and it's not going to be about the money, it's not going to be about the prestige,
that's nice, but it's really I find that the doctors that make it through and excel are
the ones that want to change the world, the ones that want to help people.
Ones that want to give back and they're really fixated on I know what the end goal is and
I'm so emotionally attached to this I am here I'm living my dream.
When you have a driver like that, you can find a way to get through it.
I'll tell you guys a personal story of my mine.
I did not make it through flight school because I did not have the emotional driver.
Yeah, I blew up my sinuses and I had a physical gateway, but I was given an opportunity, you
can go get surgery and you can try again or you can get surgery and we'll just insert
you into the infantry.
I chose to go back, you know, over to the infantry because when I thought about it,
I'm like I'm just doing this because it's fun, I like the lifestyle I think it's cool,
but when it comes down to it, I don't have the emotional attachment that these other
guys do.
And so, I chose to step out of it and go to the infantry.
You know so you've got to be honest with yourself because if you don't have that emotional driver,
you're not going to be able to make it through the tough times.
So, tip number three is to build off of the small wins.
So, in these tough times when you're feeling overwhelmed you got to take a step back and
say, okay, how can I build off of these small victories.
Now, I'm going to use an example here which is may be a little bit odd, but let's get
to Legos.
So, I've noticed that when my son gets -- when he was younger, he gets these really big kits
and we would sit down and at first he would be overwhelmed, but what I love and what,
you know, was really cool is that there was like a little victory every time you put on
like ten pieces.
They would show you what this and my son was really excited, in fact, he wouldn't let me
deviate from what exactly it said in the instructions.
And, it was victory after victory after victory and after you get like fifty of these victories,
all of a sudden you have an amazing you've accomplished what you set out to do.
Guys, anything in life is it's going to take time it's going to take effort and sometimes
it takes years to achieve, so make sure that break it up.
I've heard of entrepreneurs who actually have a bowl and inside that bowl they have marbles.
Every time they have a small victory multiple times a day, they put in a marble, so by the
end of the week they can look at the victories.
When you look at those victories you say, ah, you know, I've achieved success and I'm
going to go off and get those small victories.
All right, guys, that's it.
I want you to go check out the support article over at Real Men Real Style.
In that support article, I give you a bonus point which I didn't cover in this video.
In addition, I go into a lot more detail on all the topics I covered here.
It was written by Katrina over at Communication for Nerds.
She's got a free course for you that you can go check out.
And, guys, at the end of the day, when you are dealing with this adversity when you're
down, realize you're not alone.
All of us go through this, so don't give up.
Realize, hey, we're all human.
Diamonds are formed under intense pressure and heat.
And this, if you make it through it, it's going to make you a better man.
That's it, guys.
I'll see you in the next video.
Take care.