i'm gonna be
a mighty king like no king before
everybody look left look right
everywhere you look i'm standing in the
spotlight
these were the ones that i repeated to
myself as i walked
into the la audition room where a
hundred other girls
were trying out to be nala on broadway
new york
the air smelled of hollywood and
desperation
you know it was crammed with these
monster mothers and those savage
children you
have no idea these kids are like
little demons they'll step the foot out
to trip you
they'll be doing pirouettes around just
to show off
randomly just do a backflip because they
can
whatever and walking in i was just
really glad
that i would never be like that and that
most of all my mom
would never be like one of those crazy
loco
stage moms i walked in and i remember
her saying
amanda don't worry about it just have
fun
and try your best and i remember you
know being in the corner having my name
on my back
doing my dance moves stretching getting
it on and
a mother walks by and she goes that's
cute but it's not
amateur night
yes my mom snapped she went
hell nah i know that lady didn't say
that to my daughter
the lion of the king grew out all of a
sudden it was just
no lines drawn yelling nasty comments of
the other girls like
i'm sure you other white girls didn't
get the memo
but lion king takes place in africa you
can't
learn melanin honey okay can't do makeup
for that
i'm in the corner trying to pretend that
my mom isn't my mom
and my twin sister's there she's there
not really for emotional support but
just to let me know how much i can fail
so she comes up to me and she's like yo
amanda
i know you're nervous to like audition
cause like
you have a speech impediment and
everything and like an auditory
processing disorder and you look
like the black girl version of vessel
brand
but just have fun and be yourself my mom
said move out the way
you can have fun when i have my one-way
ticket to new york city
mom what about being myself being
yourself won't get mommy
i mean amanda to the lion king amanda
come over here
there's something you need to learn you
need to put yourself
out there so when you see the casting
director
tell him you've already menstruated
you're post-pubescent you won't grow
you'll look nine for forever
and if that doesn't work out you can
always
know act like a monkey walk in your
hands or something crap like that and
they might cast you as rafiki
i'm trying to kind of hear what my mom
says but also
stay sane and i remember closing my eyes
and just
feeling i was so close to my dream i
in my head i saw myself loud
and proud on a stage in front of a crowd
proving that a girl who was black and
skinny
and geeky and had a speech impediment
could make it to broadway
finally after a little bit they call my
number
i walk into the audition room and in my
head
i'm reciting the lyrics i'm i'm
i'm gonna be a mighty king like
no king before i'm
working on my war
trying to be heard but these words don't
sound
right could i ever be in the spotlight
and i'm there in front of the casting
director and i remember what my mom told
me so i said
yo
good news i've already had my period
so this is as high as i'm gonna get i
can stay nala for a really
long time if you know what i mean
what i i cannot imitate his face i'm not
going to try it
um and then i tell him you know i know i
just sing that little
mighty king song but i have other stuff
in me
[Music]
is that what he says
and then i heard my mom's voice in my
head telling me
to pull out all the stops that if voice
came to us then this was
worst at the moment i should you know
walk on my hands or something and like
act like a monkey
so i do not lie i stepped back
[Applause]
and walked on my hands out of the
audition
true and i was waiting there with the
other girls everyone's
so tense the monster moms are pushing
people out the way so they can hear
and they start listing the names of
people who get call backs and i'm so
excited
and they haven't called my name yet and
the casting director comes out and says
thank you everyone for coming that is
all
and i remember feeling so broken
by what was supposed to be my big break
and my mom came over to me and said you
know
it's okay you tried your best you're
always going to be nala
in my heart and part of me was so glad
to know that i would never be like one
of those girls who made it to broadway
because i would still make it here i'd
still
make it to now being loud and proud in
front of a crowd
on a stage well i know i
am a mighty king mightier than before
i might be working on my war but look
left look right here i
am tonight in the spotlight
is