Going back to an ex is almost never a good idea, but in Kate and William's case their
2007 two-month breakup actually healed their relationship.
How did that happen, and what can you learn from it?
Welcome back, my Body Language Buddies! my name is Jesús Enrique Rosas and I'm the Body
Language Guy.
Let's find out!
On Christmas 2006, William and Kate’s four-year relationship hit a wall when Kate’s family
invited him to come and stay in the countryside for New Year.
William had originally decided to go, but then changed his mind.
Of course, this upset Kate.
Since William always spent Christmas with the Queen and the rest of his family at Sandringham,
they didn't see each other much over the holidays.
Although certain things were changing with the times within the royal family, Christmas
at Sandringham was still strictly a royal affair.
You'll remember that it was Meghan the first non-royal to be invited to the Queen's personal
retreat.
But in Kate and William's case, they would not be able to spend Christmas Day together
unless they were married.
For reasons unknown, they kept spending time apart well into the new year.
Then, the day BEFORE Kate’s twenty-fifth birthday, William left to join his first regiment,
The Blues and Royals.
He would be away for a few months, and the three-hour drive meant that he wouldn’t
necessarily be returning to London every weekend.
Well, we already have distance into the breakup mix.
But of course, Kate knew beforehand about William's duties so this would not be enough
to call it quits.
But just before Kate’s birthday, Diana’s former private secretary Patrick Jephson wrote
a feature for the Spectator called ‘The Next People’s Princess’ about how Kate
would be a glamorous and much-needed addition to the royal family.
Because, you know, it's normal to talk about people as "additions", as in, "You want fries
with that?"
Absolutely!
Well, when Kate went to work on the morning of her birthday, there were more aggressive
paparazzi than ever before.
Interest in Kate had turned into harassment, and the following day, William requested that
his press secretary release a statement, reading, ‘He wants more than anything for it to...
- stop.
Miss Middleton should, like any other private individual, be able to go about her everyday
business without this kind of intrusion.
The situation is proving unbearable for all those concerned.’
Oh no, wait, I'm not reading that.
Spoiler warning: the papparazzi didn'care at all.
The following month, William gave Kate a nice pre-Valentine’s present, but gifts aside,
if a couple isn’t spending any time together, then you can expect that some cracks will
start to show.
They were also still young, and both figuring out what they wanted from life, but Kate felt
like she had less of a say in their relationship and their future.
She had her job at the fashion chain Jigsaw, but she wasn’t sure it was what she wanted
to do long-term.
Alright, William had to fulfill his duties – that was his destiny – but where did
that leave her?
She wasn’t sure which direction she would like to take.
If they ended up getting married, she would be required to jump fully into royal life,
and this would take time and preparation.
As anyone knows.
Additionally, William didn’t seem to be in any rush to head back to London on weekends.
Instead, he started spending a lot of time with the rest of his barracks comrades, going
out drinking and dancing.
Now we have distance, we have uncertainty, we have personal and professional interests
into the breakup mix.
The emotional part of a relationship becoming distresed has many factors, and it's never
something about just calling it quits.
Then, when he did make it back to London one time, he went straight out clubbing with friends
and flirted with women, which was in the papers the next day.
So Kate, understandably, grew increasingly fed up, and felt William's behavior was disrespectful.
They attended the Cheltenham Festival together, but while the previous year it seemed that
Kate was in her medium, that year she and William looked absolutely grown apart.
Even their boring color tweed outfits were a clear analogy of their relationship.
A few days later, William was back in his barracks and went out to nearby nightclubs.
He was usually moderate, but now he was getting drunk and jumping face first into women.
In one picture it looks like he was holding the breast of one of them.
Checking the image... yes.
Absolutely holding it.
The pictures were in the papers the next day, and Kate and William were both embarrassed.
It was impossible to hide the fact that William was unsure of their future together, and that
led him to let himself go.
Now, at one point in Charle’s relationship with Diana, Prince Philip said to him that
he needed to take action one way or another and Charles proposed.
When William was faced with the same dilemma he ran in the opposite direction.
By the time Kate flew to Ireland with her mother on April 3rd, the relationship of four
years was over.
Kate was devastated, but instead of just weeping at home in a corner, (nobody puts Kate in
a corner), she got busy.
As I mentioned in my Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez analysis, nothing gives a problem some
perspective than getting away from it, and flying to another country is one of the best
options.
William decided to CELEBRATE the end of his relationship with a trip.
The news of their split were not public yet, but those around him at a club were made well
aware when he jumped on a table, shouting ‘I’m free!’, doing the Peter Crouch
robot dance, telling his friends to drink like it was the World's End.
And no, this was not a joke.
The following day the news of their split broke, but it wasn’t long before William
second guessing himself.
And what's ironic is that he couldn't get out of his mind the decision his father had
made when he let Camilla go.
William did not want to make the same mistake.
Although... if his father had done the right thing and marry the woman he loved, then William
and Harry would not have existed, but instead, two creepy face mashups of Charles and Camilla.
That's right.
I don't want you to sleep tonight.
Kate, however, needed some assurance.
He had broken her heart, and she wanted to make sure that if they got back together it
would be for the right reasons, and that she would have the certainty that things would
change.
Now, and again, this is important: Kate remained mentally, physically and socially active during
that time.
And while we suppose it wasn't easy, it was the right call.
One of the worst mistakes that any woman can make during a breakup is letting the split
take her down.
For some time, while she was with William, Kate thought that she was OK a more stable
and mature lifestyle, preferring chillout nights at home and family events.
But she was still only twenty-five and single, with the world at her feet.
She was hearbroken, yes; but she was making sure that noone was going to notice it.
There were many nights out to hotspots where she had been a regular with William.
Together with her sister Pippa, she made sure to leave the blues behind, and she even went
to a party to promote the film Rabbit Fever, which was about women obsessed with the famous
"personal device".
Kate was going everywhere she could in her social circles, but inside, she was still
broken.
There was one thing that allowed her to heal.
Training with a women's rowing team helped distract her and also make her feel better,
and they were training to compete for charities.
According to one of her fellow rowers, Kate was really down and the training became her
therapy.
Kate had always put William first and she said this was a chance to do something for
herself.
And she very quickly proved herself, and it really helped her put things in perspective.
I think this part of her life is analogous with Harry going to the military.
A place where there are no titles, nobody cares who are your parents and everyone must
support each other.
Beyond the pressure of what are social norms, like if you have a boyfriend and you should
behave this way, or you're single and you should behave in this other way, dedicating
your time, thoughts and energy to a project that goes beyond yourself is the shortest
path to put your emotional struggle in perspective.
In her engagement interview, she said of the breakup:
- I think at the time I wasn’t very happy about it, but actually it made me a stronger
person, you find out things about yourself that maybe you hadn’t realized.
I think you can get quite consumed by a relationship when you’re younger … I really valued
that time for me as well, although I didn’t think it at the time!’
Then, Kate went to Ibiza to get some sunlight with her brother James and friends, and it
was noted that she spent a lot of time on the phone.
As for William, he realized that he had messed everything up.
What he really wanted was beside him all along.
At the end of May, they secretly met up at at a pub close to Highgrove, where William
told her he wanted to get back together.
But Kate knew better and didn't want to rush anything.
She had been badly hurt and told William she needed some time.
They secretly got back together on June 9th, when she attended a party at his barracks
to celebrate the end of training.
The theme was ‘Freakin’ naughty’ and William was the naughty policeman, while Kate
was dressed as a naughty nurse.
I could photoshop that, but just... use your imagination.
I don’t want this video taken down.
Sometimes spending time apart from someone just proves how much they mean to you.
Apparently, even though they were openly seeing other people, they still kept in constant
contact during their break-up.
It wasn’t long before they realized that no one else would measure up.
In the case of Kate and William, a little time apart and the wake-up call that neither
wanted to see the other end up with someone else was enough to get them back together.
After all, the heart wants what it wants.
I've got more videos on the Royals and the not-so-royals too, and more in-depth analysis
of relationships, breakups and coming backs.
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