-Welcome, everybody.
Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show."
You're here. You made it. [ Cheers and applause ]
You're watching at home, thank you.
Hey, just so you guys know, while you were cheering,
three more billionaires launched themselves into space.
So isn't that...
Yeah, it was an exciting day,
'cause just after 9:00 this morning,
Jeff Bezos flew to space aboard
Blue Origin's New Shepherd rocket.
If you didn't see the launch, here it is.
-Go, Jeff. Go, Mark. Go, Wally. Go, Oliver.
You are going to space.
-Yeah.
First Branson, now Bezos.
Tomorrow, Warren Buffett is gonna try to get up there with
balloons like the old guy from "Up."
That's right -- Bezos was launched into space,
which is the natural career progression for anyone who
starts an online bookstore.
Before his trip to space, Bezos said,
"I'm just really excited to figure out
how it's going to change me."
Well, here he is before the flight.
And this is real.
Here he is after he landed.
-Oh!
-That's not real.
-I guess space turns you into Kenny Chesney.
I don't know what...
That's right -- Bezos actually wore a cowboy hat
for today's flight.
Can we see it again?
You know you're rich when you put that on
and everyone who works for you goes, "Oh, it looks great.
Yeah.
You're a man of the people, just going to space.
Let me see it again one more...
He looks like a mash-up between Buzz Lightyear and Woody.
[ Applause ] Two for one.
Yeah, he got the space suit and the cowboy hat together
by searching for the mid-life crisis bundle.
"Is a soul patch too much?"
But Bezos wasn't alone.
He was joined by three other people in the capsule.
Here's everyone together.
Yep, the first space crew to get
their portrait done at Walmart.
They look like they're about to do the 2:45 show
at the main pool at SeaWorld.
-[ Barks ] -Can I see it again?
Let me see -- There you go.
It looks like a portrait of Mr. Clean's family.
The crew included 82-year-old pilot Wally Funk,
who became the oldest astronaut in history.
And at one point, you could sort of tell.
Listen to this. This is real.
[ Laughter, applause ]
Then she almost pushed the launch button.
They're like, "No, Wally, no! Don't..."
Feel like every Zoom with grandma.
It's like, "Just push 'unmute.' Push -- No, that's your camera.
Don't -- Just call grandma."
Well, a lot of people were talking about
the shape of the rocket.
Can we see a photo of it?
It kind of looks like -- Well, I mean,
why would you design it like that?
I just -- Anyway, let's just put 30 seconds on the clock
and see how many jokes we can do here.
You want to get in on this, Tariq?
-Oh, you know it. -Alright, here we go.
It's the only rocket that shrinks in the cold.
-They designed it at the Johnson Space Center.
-It looks like R2-D2 took some Viagra.
-They don't keep it in a hangar.
They keep it in the top drawer of a bedside table.
-Right after the launch, the rocket goes into sleep mode.
-I'm surprised news channels didn't have to blur that.
-Next stop, the "O"-zone.
-It's not that hard to get to space.
-Well, it took a long time to erect it.
-Guys, I got one.
-It looks like someone undid their asteroid belt.
-I got one. I got one. -What?
-It looks like male genitalia.
[ Ding ] -Oh.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Wow.
-Alright, changing gears.
Hey, this is fun.
I saw that Disney just unveiled the first look at
Joe Biden's robot at the Hall of Presidents.
-Ooh! -Check this out.
-Oh.
-They can't seem to master these, yeah?
He looks like he opened the fridge
and can't decide what to eat.
"Activia. Prunes. I don't know."
It's not great, but can we take a look at Trump's?
Well, alright, maybe Biden's isn't so bad.
Finally, on last night's episode of "The Bachelorette,"
there was a pretty interesting scene between Katie and Mike P.
We love "The Bachelorette" here on the show.
But those scenes can get pretty emotional.
So I thought that we could help.
Here's a clip from the episode re-voiced
with the least-emotional person we know -- Siri.
This is "Let's Get Siri-ous."
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪
-[ Whispering ] "Let's Get Siri-ous."
♪♪
-"She is a nurturer, and, man, do I love nurturers.
She reminds me of my mom.
Your legs are soft."
"Oh, well, thank you. Ha ha."
My mom brings a nurturing touch to everything
and every situation that she comes in contact with.
Katie does the same thing."
You remind me of my mom."
"Really?"