It is here! It is here! Here! Here!
So, it's here?
Yes!
What is it?
This.
You bought a big rag?
It's a ShamPow!
That thing they sell on TV at 3:00 in the morning?
Uh, the ShamPow isn't just some thing.
It's a super rag.
It can absorb 30 times its weight in liquid.
- What's that? - Grape juice.
No. Oh, no. Aw, man.
Don't fret.
This'll sop up that juice
faster than you can say ShamPow.
ShamPow.
Say it slower.
Sham-m-m Pow-w-w-w-w.
Ha! The spill is gone!
I think you're gone.
Ah!
[chirping]
Um...
what ya got there?
It's a smoothie.
[chirping]
I think she meant the gigantic bird.
Oh! This is Marvin. He's an ostrich.
I just bought him.
Your magic meatball told you to?
Yes.
Hey!
You guys wanna know what I'm doing?
So, check it out.
I bought one of those Screaming Mel dolls, and see?
I made him look like me!
I Spencified him!
Remember how he used to scream stuff?
Well, I wiped his audio chip.
Gross.
And I put my voice on it,
so now it says stuff that I often say! Like...
Carly, I'm home!
[giggling]
Who wants Spaghetti Tacos?
Quick! Call the Fire Department!
Can you make him say
"I've gotta quit playing with dolls and get a job"?
I can't believe you went all the way to Canada.
It wasn't a total loss.
I bought Canadian bacon while I was there.
Who wants night breakfast?
- Me. - Me.
Who were you yelling at?
Him! The Japanese learning wizard.
He teaches me Japanese phrases.
And if I don't say 'em right, he shocks me with this collar.
I hate it.
So, take the collar off.
I can't!
It's magnetically locked until you get past level one.
How are you today? Kyo wa genkidesuka?
- Ohgan what? - No! No! No!
[screaming]
The pain helps you learn.
The pain is melting my throat!
Oh.
So, what's with her?
Oh, she teaches you how to speak Swedish.
I bought her when I bought him.
Why? 'Cause she's hot?
Well, not just 'cause-- Yes.
Hi, did you order some pillows from pillowmyhead.com?
I did. Yes.
- Sign here. - Sure.
I am so psyched to get these!
I read that their pillows really support your head
and neck while you sleep.
Yeah, that's pretty interesting.
So, where are my pillows?
My partner's bringing them up.
[dinging]
That's probably him.
Whoa! Wait, I just ordered two pillows.
No, you ordered 200 pillows.
Two hun-- What person orders 200 pillows?
You.
No, I didn't.
You signed for 'em.
Yeah, but that was before--
[grunting]
[gasping]
No, no, no, no, no,
you need to take 198 of these pillows back.
Hey, watch it, man.
Look who's back! Me!
How was the market?
Cool... your pork roast!
Um... I asked for an orange.
You didn't say pork roast?
No.
Who was I talking to?
What's that for?
Ah, the fire department sent us a letter
saying we've reached our maximum number of calls
for the year... so, I bought this.
- Nice. - Yeah.
And I just fixed the nozzle to make it extra powerful.
I'm gonna mount it on the wall over there.
Seems like a good place to mount it.
Thanks.
[grunting]
Now... I need to show you how this works
in case there's ever a fire and I'm not home.
Alright, show me.
Alright. See that paper cup right there?
I see the cup.
Imagine I'm not home and that cup is on fire.
You don't just go, "Oh, I'm young girl at home
and there's a fire."
[screaming]
"Now, what do I do?"
[screaming]
Nope. You just... pull this thingy,
point the nozzle suchly
and calmly squeeze this metal trigger!
[screaming]
Oh my God!
Cup on fire! A cup on fire!
Now, what do we do?! What do we do?!
Ah!
And then you just put the extinguisher
back in its wall bracket.
I'm home... and I got bags.
Okay, you went shopping. What'd you get?
Well... you see...
Butter... butter... butter, oh, look, butter.
I bought a lot of butter.
Clearly. This all you got?
No, I also got this thingy
that makes the water in your toilet turn blue.
Great. So for dinner, we can have butter
and blue toilet water.
Hey... stopped by the market on my way home.
iCarly's been hijacked by a psychotic she-duck!
Mexican sponges.
Look at this.
A Proton Cruiser?
No, my Proton Cruiser. I just bought it!
It was actually used
in the actual filming of "Galaxy Wars".
In the battle of Panthatar?
And the Rescue of the Horklops from the Planet Jooveron!
- Shut up. - How can I?
Ziz-kwaja!
So, you're making her dinner?
Uh-Huh. She wrote in her online profile
that she likes sophisticated men who can cook.
So, I'm making her dinner, and I bought these.
[giggling]
- Sophisticated? - I guess.
Where'd you get those?
You know Socko's cousin, the optometrist?
- Isaac? - Yep.