Right OK, right we're gonna take some more questions in a minute. Let's take a
look... Let's take a look at this iPhone thing OK? Let's have a little bit of a...
iPhone "X" - he's calling it an iPhone "10" but but but you know you can call it 10
When I go when I go to their website... here's why! Look,
look at that Ben, bring this up on screen, bring that up right now! What is that?
That's an X iPhone X - it's a Roman numeral - whatever looks like an X to me!
OK, so the iPhone X... blah, blah, blah, blah, boring, yawn, yawn - here we go... Oh my goody
gumdrops, it's got a full glass screen just like the Samsung one. Oh goody
gumdrops we're now going to be able to stare off face at it and it's
going to be able to recognize who we are! Oh, some splash proof good nice photo by the way,
with some liquid stuff going on. I like that. So we've got all this
revolutionary new stuff. Revolutionary... that word, Revolutionary gets overused!
a great deal in my experience right? But I'm not interested in that, I want to
look at this right, look at this now. This is the new generation X isn't it,
this is generation 10 - there you go, this is all the kids, look at look at this!
"Front facing forward thinking", "True depth camera", right, so now create beautiful
selfies with sharp foregrounds that... Beautiful selfies?? My goodness what is
the World coming to, you know when I was a photographer back in the day, I didn't
see people holding their SLRs out like this go oh OK to get a selfie today on
location here I mean this this whole selfie thing has just gone NUTS... isn't it?
And now now they're making the phone take better selfies so you can prat
around telling your mates what a wonderful social media life you're
having and how amazing everything is, when actually it's just a load of old
crap like everyone else is. OK? It's just a load of old fake nonsense.
OK, look at these beautiful people with their lovely selfies with their lovely
blurred backgrounds - what?! Look at the lovely color,
coordinated schemes that Apple have done there, a beautiful yellow pure jumper, a
nice magenta and then a green. Everyone's so happy, everyone's got white teeth and
a full head of hair - oh isn't life just wonderful?! Oh my god, doesn't it do
your nut in? Right, OK, moving on... this is what's irritating me about this
is this whole thing about the camera. Look at this I think I've got to reboot
this because I probably ranted for so long. There hasn't even shown you what I
wanted to show you. Right we've got this, new portrait mode. Look at
this, look, look what it does. OK, so I'm going to take a portrait now and what's
going to happen... it's not even doing it now - look, Apple have locked me out
of their website for slagging off their phone. New portrait mode, it's meant to
identify lighting, or or it can select lighting. Why is it not even working?
There it goes... Right so look at it, it's changing the
contrast and now it does some ridiculous cutout does a black and white conversion
and pretends that it's a professional portrait camera. It's even called it
"Staged mono light" I mean this is just nuts. OK we've now got phone
cameras, and I agree right, on the current model where it does a bit of
background blur, if you're taking a picture a kid - I've got nothing against that!
It's quite cute, it's quite nice, it can make your kid shots look better but now
trying to you know do these really vague sort of surrounds and put a black
background on it and say that we've now hit studio lighting mode - you know
portrait lighting - what a load of nonsense!!
The lighting hasn't changed in the picture at all, she still got this
horrible harsh sunlight streaking across her face, all they've done is strapped a
bit of black background around her and converted it to black and white! What a
load of old nonsense. OK, so there we go I don't really know about the rest of
the phone OK it might be faster better more storage but
is nothing revolutionary it's a phone, it makes telephone calls you can go and
check your emails, that's the key stuff! What we can say is we know that the
phone market has absolutely hammered and killed the compact camera market because
compact camera sales have gone from like something like 70 million down to like 1
million because everyone else takes pictures on their phone... and I've got
nothing against that either because for me when I go on holiday I don't even
take a decent camera on holiday because I'm just with my wife and kids... and I
don't have time for any proper photo so I just take pictures on my phone anyway
so if my phone is better at taking pictures then great but let's not try
and kid us with all this portrait lighting mode! As if it the phone somehow
spectacularly fires a load of Broncolor powers out the side of it to
lights the scene with incredible illumination and pro level
knowledge to then gives us this fantastic portrait! So I'm afraid I'm not
really into that. You may disagree... This is even more nonsense, look at this, I
mean, what is the world coming to? OK right this is the height of our
intelligence, now this is it OK.. They call this they call this
virtual augmentation or something? no it's not that, but that's coming as well.
So now, as well as selfies, we don't even have to use our own stupid
self... we can stick a cat on our head instead! We can have a cat self! OK I'm
having a moan, I'm probably picking on this stuff just because I've had a bad
week OK - if you guys find this fun that's fine - these kids
right, they love it, these kids behind the desk, she's 20, he's 25
they love all this nonsense right but I'm an
I'm an old guy so I'm not really into it. No, no, no, no, yeah, but that's for kids
it's for kids and they look at it, they're marketing it at grown-ups
OK let's get back to some Q&A before I move on to
some other thing... or I smash my iPhone! By the way I've still got an
iPhone 5 - does work still :-)