- Stop being so nice with men.
What do I mean by that?
Because I myself, I consider myself a nice girl
and I actually would encourage you ladies
to be nice
as I think that's really attractive.
And when you're nice with men,
they actually feel more comfortable to approach you.
But when I'm talking about being too nice,
I'm not talking about a high-value girl
who is nice, polite,
show self-respect,
has values,
knows how to set boundaries with people.
Being too nice such as people pleasing,
putting him on a pedestal,
forgetting about your life,
and starting to worship a guy.
You're getting the difference?
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Hello, My name is Greta Bereisaite.
I'm dating and relationship coach for women.
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And just before I will share with you 12 ways
on where being too nice will turn your guy off.
Don't forget to take my free self awareness test
to find out
are you a woman of high value or low value,
which I will drop down
in the video description box below.
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you can get this in my YouTube store.
So without further ado, let's start.
How being "too nice" will turn him off.
Number one, being too agreeable.
This usually happens
when you really like somebody
and you're too scared to be yourself
just in case your opinions will clash.
And you think like,
"Oh, he's not gonna like me anymore."
Girls who are too agreeable
clearly don't feel their own value and worth.
And we think that if you're gonna be themselves
the person will just not like them anymore.
These girls tend to please people
in order to be liked.
The problem is
when you are too agreeable
or you're people pleasing,
people start to take, take, take for you,
lose respect for you
and they start to take you for granted.
If you're in that place
and he's started to take you for granted,
checkout my video right here,
what to do when he takes you for granted.
Number two where the girls usually behave too nice
is when we initiate contact.
Ladies initiate the contact first
when we give a man excuses,
such as maybe he's too busy,
maybe he's too shy.
Maybe something came up.
I need to check in on him.
I need to be nice and tell him good night.
I need to be nice and tell him good morning.
Maybe you had a great date
and you feel like you need to text him first
to thank him for the date.
Or maybe you feel like he's too shy
to ask you out again
and now it's your turn
so you're gonna be nice and ask him out
by initiating the contact.
When you started to take the lead
and behave like a man by pursuing him
because you're being too nice,
it will turn him off.
If you would like to know
why you should not pursue a man,
you can check out my video right here.
Number three where ladies are being too nice
is when we are scared to set in boundaries.
And this one is a big problem
in majority of relationships.
So because girls are naturally more agreeable than men,
because girls tend to enjoy peace more than men do,
whenever a guy provokes her
or whenever he is rude or disrespectful to her,
a lot of ladies will not set in a boundary
because setting in a boundary means
a bit of friction happening.
And because women are naturally more agreeable
and like safety, and security, and peace,
we tend to agree with a man or please him
when he is being disrespectful towards her
just for that feeling of peace and security.
It does not benefit long-term
because what happens is
you give him green lights to walk all over you,
meaning that,
whenever he's disrespecting you
and you're not standing up for yourself,
it means he can continue disrespecting you
before he starts to lose respect for you,
and you, because you don't stand up for yourself
and he's walking all over you,
you start to feel hurt,
upset
and build up a lot of resentment towards him.
So ladies, when a guy is at least
a tiny bit disrespectful,
or he is checking, will you stand up for yourself,
you must stand up for yourself that same second.
"No, I'm not the type of person
"that you can walk all over."
That way, yes, you will create a bit of friction
for that moment,
but you will gain his respect
and you yourself will not be building up
any resentful feelings towards him.
And ladies, if you want to know how to set in boundaries
with a guy properly,
where you're not too rude
or not too kind or too nice,
and you're doing it just right,
check out my video right here.
Number four where ladies are behaving too nice
is when we start giving men presents.
A lot of girls do this.
So in some cultures, it's very common
when you have a new friend
to give something to that new friend.
Or when you like somebody,
you want to show them that you like them
and you buy them a little present, a little gift.
So ladies that are not aware of
men and female relationships,
what works and what doesn't,
when we start to like a guy
and start to create a better bond with him,
we start to buy a guy presents.
The problem that (indistinct) ladies,
you give a guy a wrong impression of pursuing him,
of charming him.
It's not your place as a woman
to pursue, charm him,
or buy him gifts or presents.
It's a man's job to do it.
And if he will want to charm you,
will start to really like you,
will start to care about you,
that is when he's gonna start buying
little gifts for you himself.
So your job is to be a lady and be patient.
Let him come to you and do his thing.
Number five where ladies are being too nice
is when a guy takes them out
and he offers to pay
and the girl jumps in and offers to split the bill.
In my early twenties,
I have definitely been in this place too.
And the only reason I was doing that
is because I was being too nice.
I remember I looked at the bill
and the guy was gonna take the bill.
And I was like, "Oh, this is really expensive.
"Maybe I should chip in as well."
And obviously, I offered.
And he was so happy that I offered to split it
and we ended up splitting it.
This is not what you do, ladies.
It's a man's job to court you.
And if he let's say,
takes you to a restaurant that he cannot afford,
well, it's his fault.
Maybe he should have taken you for a picnic instead.
Don't be too nice
by jumping in to offer to split by bill.
If you jump into split with bill
and he says yes,
the next date you're gonna be splitting the bill.
And the other date
you're gonna be splitting the bill.
And your whole dating or relationship
will turn into 50-50.
And once everything turns into 50-50,
first, it does not work
because men and women are not the same.
With a man and a woman,
nothing is 50-50 about complimenting each other.
Second, when you start to do 50-50,
it's very, very difficult to get out of it.
It's very difficult to redeem yourself like,
"Oh, I'm not gonna be paying anymore."
So don't be too nice
and don't do it in the first place.
Number five where women are being too nice
is when the guy asks her out
and let's say maybe it's long distance
or you live in another town,
for example, maybe he is 100 miles apart,
or maybe in another country,
and you offer to either fly to him to see him
or drive to him to see him
or to meet halfway.
Again, ladies, it's not your job
to climb over those mountains,
swim over those seas.
It's his job to do that.
It is his job to court you.
If he's into you and he cares for you
and he really likes you,
let him court you properly
and come to you all the way.
Of course, if it's just the beginning of dating
and let's say you don't want him
to show up at your house,
meet up in a place where it's safe and comfortable.
But if it's something
like where you're dating long distance,
he still needs to come,
maybe not to your door,
but at least to your town.
The other point is,
and to be honest, I lost the count now.
So assuming I'm gonna get either to 12 or over 12,
Let's see.
The other point is
don't do things that are last minute.
So for example,
maybe he's a busy guy
and he doesn't know when he's free or available.
And he gives it to you as an excuse.
Like when you tell him,
"Look, I'm busy, let me know in advance."
He's like, "Look, I'm really busy too
"and I don't know that I have a free time."
So whenever he gets that free minute,
he just picks up a call.
He calls you and he goes like,
"Babe, would you like to meet up?
"I'm free, just come on over."
And so on.
Ladies, don't do that.
Don't do that even if you're free.
Because if you will leave your house
at this last minute,
you're setting in the pattern
that whenever he will call you,
you're gonna be there like a pizza delivery.
Guys do not respect that or value that.
If he wants to see you,
he needs to ask you in advance.
And if he cannot do that,
well, then he'll just have to wait a little longer,
which actually will make the dates
more quality and fun.
Because the more you miss each other,
the more fun the date is.
I think I'm on number eight.
If he asks you to do something for him,
don't drop everything that you are doing
and focus on doing that one thing for him.
So for example,
maybe he is writing an essay for uni,
and he says, "Babe, can you please write it for me?
"I really need your help."
And now because you want to please him
and you want to show off
what a amazing girlfriend you are,
and how smart you are,
and how helpful you are,
you drop everything, what you're doing,
you drop your own work
and you start writing his essay for him.
Ladies, you can of course help the guy out
if he asks for help,
but be organized.
Don't drop your priorities in order to please him.
If he asks you to do something,
if it's not an emergency,
do it when you have free time.
And to be honest,
when a guy asks you to do something,
just to do it for him
in your own free time.
But what I would do,
I would test it back.
I would ask him to do something for me as well.
And I would see how long is he taking
to do it for me.
Then I would check
are things actually fair in the relationship
or he's actually taking advantage of me?
And if you feel like he's taking advantage of you,
maybe it's time to set in some boundaries.
The other one where I see ladies doing it a lot
is putting too many smiley,
happy, kissy faces in the texts or messages.
Because one of the things I do,
I kind of go through my client's texts and messages
just to see the whole vibe,
who's doing the pursuing.
I see a lot of ladies
put a lot of emojis in their messages.
And for example, the guy puts one kissy face
or he put a smile,
and the girl overpowers him with hearts,
kissy emojis,
smiley faces and so on.
Ladies, don't do that.
When you're putting hearty,
these love hearts, kissy emojis in the messages,
again, you're pursuing him.
Trying to please him.
You're being too nice,
being too friendly.
You are pursuing him.
When you pursue a man like that,
it will turn him off
because you're behaving masculine.
You're not giving him a chance to charm.
You're not giving him a chance to make you his lady.
Cut the emojis out
or at least mirror them with him
so you're not overpowering him.
Ladies, I have a really awesome texting video for sale,
which I really would recommend you to get it
if you want to know how to stay on track via text
and not to turn him off.
Here comes the last one,
which I think is very important
if not the most important one.
And I know a lot of women have done it
and are still doing it now.
And it is trying to please him
by having sex with him,
especially when you're dating a guy
that you really, really like.
He's charming,
you fancy him.
Bonding, you're connecting with him.
A lot of women get scared to lose a guy like that.
And they put themselves on a plate
by trying to seduce him in bed.
Or the guy keeps pressuring them to have sex
and the girl just gives in
because she gets so scared to loose that guy.
Ladies, if you're not comfortable
or not ready to sleep with him,
do not sleep at him in order to please him.
If he's really into you
and he really sees your value and worth,
he will wait until you're ready.
And if he's not waiting for it
is because he was never interested
in real you in the first place.
So ladies, take your time
and rather be safe than sorry.
So ladies, these are my 12 examples
of where being too nice will turn him off.
And I'm really sorry
because I know I lost the count along the way,
but I'm assuming I gave you about 10 or 12.
So yeah, sorry about that.
If you like this video,
please press like.
Please let me know in the comments below
more examples where you feel you've been too nice
and you turned the guy off
so the other girls can learn from them too.
Doing Greta's High Value Women School
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and bring out the best in our men.
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how to stay attractive via text,
games men play on women,
how to control your emotions,
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Thank you for watching, my Queens.
Kisses from Dorset.