[Achievement Hunter and Rage Quit Intro]
Micool: It's kinda sad, there's like somber music cause' the bike fell over...
Awwwwwwww...
So, as you saw, this is Toy Stunt Bike, NOT to be confused with Real Life Stunt Bike.
Totally Different.
This is just a TOY! Oh - you can control the soundtrack... Oh Shit!
(Laughing) What the fuck?
REALLY?
WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?
Alright, well, I'm definitely pickin' this soundtrack -
Also, what is that SHIT? That's not a hundred twenty volts!
That's bullshit! What is - and THIS IS AMERICA!
The music really got to me, man...
And then, I'm just like HUA! HUA!
Front Flip, doh, eh close enough!
AW FUCK, I'm brained.
This is like Trials for Dummies;
If you suck shit at Trials, ohhh - that's me, just play this!
You'll suck slightly less.
MOTHERFUCKER -
You'll suck just as much!
Don't go under the table, Asshole.
Yeah, go play with a block.
A for Asshole.
My avatar hasn't changed his fucking outfit in, like four years.
He must smell like shit.
Hero we go - Here we go...
Nope.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I'm not going to be able to get on the goddamn table?
[Anger Building Up] Is this where im going to get stuck?
LEVEL 2?!
Go over the shield - I'm going one mile an hour.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Are you fucking KIDDING ME?!
Just - Fuck it, just drive over the block - Can I go under this?
WOLP - WHAT THE FUCK?!
WHY DON'T - GOD Damn it!
If I can get this fucking block out of my way, that'd be great - I'm st - ...
This - Fucking CHRIST it's like Gnome Chompski - I don't wanna bring it to the end of the fucking game!
Just get out of the way!
GOD.
GOD. DAMN.
GOD. DAMN. IT.
Fucking porno music - Bew - chickachicka - WE - Werrrw!
Tenenenene Nenet - Ridin' your bike, over a FUCKING GOD DAMNED BLOCK!
Is this Fergie Ferg?
How'd they get Stacey to do this?
"Spin in the air to score points." - I can't even LAND the god damn thing. Okay? Fuck the points.
THERE'S SWORDS EVERYWHERE in this fucking house - Ah, FUCK! There goes my fucking spine.
Yeah - There you go!
NO?! NO - THE FLAG, YOU FOOL!
(Singing) WhAt is loVE? BaAby doN't HuuUrt meE...
FUCK ME - I GOT A FLAT TIRE!
SON OF A BITCH!
Drive real fast - Drive real fast!
Flip real far!
The red book - Get the red book!
MOTHERFFFUCKING GOD DAMNED SPIKES!
This person's a fucking slob - He leaves his shit all over the place - There's books and swords and...
Spikes, and CHAIRS.
AND FUCKING BIKES.
AND DEAD BODIES OF LITTLE GNOMES?!
OR WHATEVER THE FUCK I AM?!
OHHH GOD - IT'S CRUSHING MY HEAD!
Fuck.
Me.
I fuckin' clotheslined myself.
FfffFUCK!
I DE-HEADED MYSELF, AGAIN!
GO FAST OR GO SLOW, ASSHOLE - DON'T GO IN THE MIDDLE!
There you go! You fffucking fuck, I hate you!
GOD.
DAMN.
IT!
(Sighs)
Mother.
Fucker.
Nice, real nice.
Fuck, fuck, fuck? FUCK!
GOD DAMN IT -
THIS ISN'T STEP UP -
YOU'RE NOT CHANNING TATUM, STOP SLIDING YOUR HEAD ACROSS THE FUCKING FLOOR
Go under it! Go under it!
God.
Damn it.
Go over it!
YOU CAN'T GO UNDER IT, YOU CAN'T GO OVER IT - YOU'RE FUCKING WORTHLESS!
Over this thing, right? You do a little - a little jump...
And then a big jump over the fffUCKING SPIKES.
Holy SHIT.
Oh wow, yeah - I'm, not making this. Great.
Fuck me.
GOD DAMN IT? FUCKING DOMINOES?!
WHO THE FUCK PLAYS WITH DOMINOES - IT'S TWO-THOUSAND FOURTEEN!
WHAT is with you and chairs, dude?
I can't even bunny-hop this shit - [Grunt] - Nope.
Nope.
Aaaand your dick's gonna get pummelllllled - OHH! There goes your dick.
GOD's - This wallpaper's fucking hideous!
So gross - and look at this scene, right there! Look how awful that is, right?
That doesn't match at all!
It looks like SHIT!
YOUR WALLPAPER LOOKS LIKE SHIT!
Can I read that book? Is that book about how to fucking drive this bike?
FUUUUUCK! I can't - I can - I can't do it, I can't avoid the GOD DAMNED NAILS!
HE FUCKING RUNS TOWARDS THEM!
HE LOVES EM'!
Why did I do that - I just killed myself, I just committed suicide -
Oh yeah, I finished.
Great.
Congratulate MY FUCKING CORPSE!
WHEN YOU PUT ME IN THE GOD DAMNED GROUND.
[Rooster Teeth Outro]