From Logan. Hey Tripp, love your podcast. I actually ended up getting to talk to a girl
while she was working and she seemed kind of interested in me.
We were going in for coffee every morning for coffee. That's an interesting sentence there.
And she seemed kind of interested in me. We were going in for coffee every morning for coffee.
After I got her number after about a month or so, I talked to her while we were both at work.
When I asked her if she wanted to go out some time and walk the dogs or get some food, she told me
she "has no idea what she is looking for or what she wants" and asked if it's okay if we can just
be friends and see where it goes and if that's okay. This was over text. And now I don't know
what I should do or text her. She seemed really cool when I was talking to her while she was
working. She always comes up to me and talks to me first, it seems like. But now I'm kind of stumped.
I wasn't looking for a girl but I said screw it and tried it out again. I haven't had a
girlfriend since high school and I'm kind of out of the game. Thanks for everything, Logan. Logan,
basically you're in a situation where you met a girl and she put you in the friend-zone. Bottom
line is she puts you in the friend-zone. She's not sure what she's looking for. Here's what
I would do. In a friend-zone situation like this you have a couple of options
and I'll leave the decision to you. One, if you get friend-zoned where you went for it,
which is great, you went for it and she said, no, I don't know what I'm looking for and
can we be friends first. If you get something like that, you can totally reject it and say,
no, sorry, I'm not looking for friends at the moment, I was looking for something more.
All good. Take care and maybe we'll run into each other again in the future. That's option one. And
what will happen from option one is she'll either go okay and you guys would just be done. Or that
might even potentially attract her because you're being assertive, you're being decisive,
and you're basically telling her what you want and those actions and behaviors are
very attractive to women. That's a possibility. That's all option one. Just completely reject it
and be done with it and don't try to sit here and get a girl that is not super interested because we
want to what? Like I always say in the podcast and I say in my programs... we want to go for women
who have a high level of interest. And this is not high level of interest behavior on her end, is it?
Now option two, option two Logan, you can do this. You can just agree with what she's saying and say,
no problem, let's just hang out. Because sometimes women are caught up in the emotions
of the moment. So because she's thinking one way one moment, it doesn't mean she'll be thinking
that way the next moment. That happens a lot of times with women. Even the reverse happens,
where you'll meet a girl out at a bar and you guys will hit it off and maybe you guys even makeout...
have you ever had that situation where you guys are at a bar, you make out and then
you get her number and the next day she doesn't answer? It's a little baffling,
isn't it? You might say to yourself, I don't get it. Why would she make out with me,
spend all night with me at the bar, having a great time, only to not answer my text the next day?
That's because again, same idea. Women live in the temporary emotions of the moment. She's excited,
she's having fun. It's a whole different vibe when you're out and when you're with your friends and
she met this guy. And now it's the next day and some guy that she met at the club
text messages her and she's in a different emotional state so she's not thinking about
it in the same way. Interesting, right? This happens. My point for you is for option two,
is that you can just agree with this and then you guys can hang out. And I wouldn't do some sort of
by the way, walk the dogs get some food. You want to do something that can allow for more intimacy
and be some sort of more of a romantic setting. I'd recommend getting a drink and doing it at
a nice cocktail bar. What I would do is agree with her and say yeah, that's fine.
Let's just be friends or let's just see... just say like yeah, let's see where it goes.
Yeah, no worries let's see where it goes. And then create a date. Even though she thinks you guys are
hanging out as friends and see if you can build attraction in that moment. Now, it's going to be
tough for you because you've already been hanging out with her for so long and it took you this
long to even go for it. You screwed up by making her feel like you guys were friends.
And that's a big problem. But what I'm saying is that it's possible that maybe you guys
go on a date, you display more attractive behavior through my TED formula – tension,
entertainment, and dominance – and for example, by building tension maybe you're
asking questions that will bring you two closer and connect with each other. Those questions are
specifically from the 36 questions study that was done at Stony Brook University. You can look that
up online and get those questions. You can also get my book Magnetic where I put those questions
inside of the book and then I tell you which ones I think are best to use on a first date because
some of them don't seem appropriate to necessarily use when you guys are first hanging out.
You'll know what I'm talking about as you go through the book or through the questions
on the internet. And you can use some of those questions to connect with her and towards the end,
you can try to go for a kiss and see where it goes. Because women live in the temporary
emotions of the moment. Maybe in that moment, she feels more of an attraction towards you. And
what do you know... you go for a kiss and then the feelings just start to come out.
Think about what you can do to get her out on a date, or a hangout, and then use that time
to build attraction with her. That is going to help you there. But most importantly, guys...
I love your questions. I will always answer them here on the podcast. You better believe I will.
But we got to start learning here. And I get it. Not everyone listens to all the
different episodes and some people are just fine with the podcast for the first time,
it's fine. But it's really important to understand that we cannot sit here and go
for all these women. When I say all these women, I mean specifically the women that
you find yourself really into that you're trying to strategize over, it's very dangerous.
And it's a waste of time. Let's stop doing that. Let's avoid the friend-zone.
Let's get rejected instead. Don't wait a month again, Logan. Dear God, do not wait a full month
to ever ask a girl out. It should be immediate. You should be immediately doing it. It's like...
if I look at the microcosm of approaching... so let's just take this as an example. I talk to my
clients about this all the time. There's different ways to approach women on the street. You can go
indirect, which means you go up to her and mention something that's going on around you guys, or you
ask her her opinion on something. It's indirect, you're not directly going over to her to,
for lack of a better term, hit on her. And then direct would be going over and saying like,
"Hey, two seconds, I wanted to come meet you. You seemed interesting. I wanted to come meet you."
That's direct. I tell guys, you want to... I believe in going direct, if you can help it.
It's less of a waste of time. I find that a lot of guys who go indirect end up sitting
in a long conversation with a woman only to find out that they have a boyfriend,
or they're just not interested. Whatever it may be. And it seemed like it was going well,
but it doesn't. I'd rather just go up and get rejected. And that's my point here.
I want you to be going for women immediately and either get the rejection or don't. We're filtering
right away for a high level of interest. And that's exactly what you want. Quick filtration.
Lots of women out there. Let's find the ones who are interested right away and yes, they will be.
In fact Logan, maybe this woman would have been interested in you if you asked her out right away.
But instead no, she got that buddy. She became buddies with you. She didn't see you
as a guy who was a more attractive figure. And then you ended up in this situation.
There you go. Good luck. And those are the two options for you.