from the studio that nearly destroyed
the x-men franchise with the last and
comes the film that destroyed your
favorite x-men Wolverine journey to
1970s Canada where everyone dresses like
it's 2009 and no one has a Canadian
accent guys whatever this is take it
outside
witness Marvel's most hardcore character
get completely nude in his own extremely
boring movie watch as Wolverine
centuries of war are glossed over in one
montage to instead make time for things
no one wants to see Wolverine do go on
dates chop wood get stuck in traffic
and fumble around in the bathroom you're
right in there and if you thought they
could only ruin Wolverine wait until you
see what they did with Deadpool the Merc
with a mouth gets his mouth removed and
trades his cool costume for 8 minute abs
and magic eye shadow
oh and he also gets a grab bag of random
mutant powers that Deadpool never had
are we sure Brett Ratner didn't direct
this get excited when they introduced
fan favorite gambit then get immediately
disappointed when you realize that he's
only in the movie for five minutes
instead spend time with some of the
lamest mutants you'd never heard of Ray
agent zero bold and Silver Fox Wow
Marvel really scraping the bottom of the
barrel ah
prepare to learn the origin of boring
Wolverine facts like where he got his
jacket and the super boring story behind
his nickname trickster wanted the moon
for himself so he told gigawatts ooh
blah blah blah blah blah means the
Wolverine uh really strap it in for an
action movie with effects so bad it
barely looks better than the linked
rough cut everyone pirated online
featuring this horrible CGI camera trick
this weird CGI letter this awful CGI
facelift
unforgivably terrible cgi clause that
somehow look worse than the first three
x-men movies so dead ready to crank up
the volume and one of the shout is
Phil's
ever
ah this movie sucks starring Hugh
Jackman corn chip nail tips generic evil
Colonel polka who cares holiday worse
than Green Lantern Tim Riggins
William Paul kids and dead Cyclops arm
blades x-men origins Wolverine
why can't you movie studios just get
along America needs to see Wolverine
fight the Hulk right hey screen junkies
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