[ Organ plays ]
-Thank you for being here at the 19th Street Baptist Church.
Ain't it a blessed Sunday, y'all?
-Amen! -Alright.
And joining me today in sermon as always
is Brother Jonathan.
Here, come on in, sir.
[ Applause ]
-Isn't it a beautiful day to worship?
-Uh-huh. Now the subject of today's sermon is giving.
-'Cause remember, y'all, Jesus was a giver.
-Amen! -Preach that!
-And the Good Book tells us if you want to live like Jesus...
-Mm-hmm! -[ Organ chord plays ]
-...we have to give like Jesus.
-So let's start filling up those baskets, y'all.
-Right, alright.
'Cause the church is in need, brothers and sisters --
in need of a new roof.
-In need of a new robe for the choir.
-In need of an outdoor pizza oven!
[ Laughter ]
-Wait, what's that?
-Uh, he said we should all try to live like Jesus.
That's what he said. -Right, after that.
-I said the church need a new roof!
-After that. -New choir robes.
-After that.
-I said welcome to the 19th Street Baptist Church.
-You know that was way earlier.
-Yeah, you said the church needs a pizza oven.
-A pizza oven! [ Organ plays ]
-Um, now why does the church need a new pizza oven?
-Tell 'em about what you saw, Pastor Wilson.
-The Lord appeared to me in a dream.
-Amen!
-And in that dream, there was a pizza oven.
-Praise Jesus!
-And the Lord said, "You know what would be fun?"
-You tell 'em what would be fun!
-He said, "Pizza Tuesdays!" -Pizza Wednesdays!
-Oh, and Looord, that pizza oven was built!
And we nourished our bodies with the crispy crust.
For He is always right.
-He was always right!
-And Pizza Tuesdays was bussin'.
-Woo!
-Let's get this pizza going, y'all!
-Pizza Tuesday! -Pizza Tuesday!
-Fill them baskets, y'all! Fill the baskets.
-Stop that.
[ Organ music stops ]
Stop doing that dance.
[ Laughter ]
We got to fix the hole in the roof, man.
-Amen, brother, amen.
Always work to do in the Lord's house.
-Mm-hmm. Work like clothing the poor.
Feeding the hungry.
Touching up Mama's roots. -Ooh, touch 'em!
-Touching up Mama's roots?
-Yes, have you seen them? Mama look crazy as hell.
It ain't right. No, it's not.
-Um, we not paying for your mama hair to get done.
-Mm, that's right. That's right.
We paying the church to do God's will,
and God sees everything.
-Including Mama's roots.
-Whew! Make some noise for Mama's roots, y'all.
[ Organ playing ]
-Y'all just a bunch of con men!
-Con men?
-Oh, you mean confident Black men?
Yes, we are. Yes, sister. Praise the Lord for that.
Praise the Lord for that.
-You made me false promises.
Now y'all know I got an ugly nephew, right?
-Mm-hmm! -Crazy ugly.
-Yeah, that fool Pastor Wilson sold me a blessed handkerchief
and told me to rub it on my nephew's ugly little head
three times a day.
Which I did, and three months later,
that boy is still ugly.
-He sure don't look good, have mercy.
-Maybe you didn't rub it hard enough.
-'Cause you gotta rub it!
[ Organ plays chord ] Like you mean it!
[ Organ plays chord ] -Or your nephew...
-Gon' stay ugly!
♪♪
-Stop it!
Stop doing the dance!
[ Laughter ]
Y'all also said that the church needed
$5,000 to fix your daughter's attitude.
Well, last time I checked, she's still acting stanky.
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah, well, the Lord ain't freed up my time
to do that yet, so...
-Yes, well, you also said
that the church needed $600 for candles,
and then you immediately bought a PS5 on Facebook Market
for $600.
-Because the Lord appeared to me in a vision.
-Brothers and sisters, now, would you look at that?
God's light is shining on us right this very moment.
-That's just the sun
shining through the damn hole in the roof.
-Yes, the Lord appeared to me in a vision.
-Praise Him! -And in that vision,
I had a dual shock controller in my hands.
-Ooh, that controller was rumbling!
-Mm, and the load times was faster.
And the graphics was crispier.
And I knew that if it could not only be a PS4,
it could only be a brand new PS5.
-Woo, and not a refurbished one. It was a new one!
-Keep up now!
♪♪
-Y'all crazy. We're leaving.
-Oh, no, no. Don't be like that.
-Give us one good reason why we should stay.
-We'll let you come over for Pizza Tuesdays.
-Is it Neapolitan pizza?
-Yes, it is.
-Little -- little basil leaf on the top of it?
-Mm-hmm. -Of course.
-With the little cup pepperonis that be
catching the grease like a little chalice?
-Just like you like it. -Mm-hmm.
-Alright, I'm putting my money in.
-Henry! -Oh, come on, now!
I want some pizza. Let's hear it for Pizza Tuesdays, y'all.
-♪ Pizza Tuesdays ♪
♪ Pizza Tuesdays ♪