About a century ago, we needed a way to get from point A to point B
So Daimler and Benz, Maybach and Peugoet, Ford, Olds, and a bunch of engineers and dreamers and ironworkers
came up with cars.
And the universe said, these machines aren't easy to understand for ordinary folks, and
they cost a lot of money. We better get some salespeople quick. And the Universe gave us
car salesmen.
The Universe said "I need someone willing to work bell to bell, six days a week, make a hundred phone calls a day, handle floor
traffic, close four deals on the last day of the month, stay out till last call celebrating
and still make it into the 830AM sales meeting the next day wide awake, ready to kick ass
and take names." So the Universe gave us car salesmen.
The Universe said "I need someone who can charm the pants off a nun, talk business with
executives, football with steelworkers, and knows just enough about just about everything
to have an intelligent conversation with anyone, no matter what their hobbies or line of business.
A fellow who is dropforged from steel, with brass balls the size of grapefruits, the confidence
of a trapeze artist, the bravado of a pool hustler, the memory of an elephant, the skin
of a rhinoceros, the horns of a bull and the polish of a statesman. ." So the Universe
gave us car salesmen.
The Universe said "I need someone to shovel snow in sub-zero cold, to move a minivans
worth of stuff into a new car in boiling heat. I need someone with the patience to teach
your grandmother how to use a factory navigation system and the drive and determination to
do a ninety minute demonstration for every customer, even if they came in ten minutes
after close and can't finance a hot dog. " So the Universe gave us car salesmen.
The Universe said "I need someone who can get things fixed at Service without running
up a bill. I need someone who can entertain kids and shut down third basemen and stand
up to sales managers and close three deals by noon. I need someone who can survive for
fourteen hours on nothing but coffee, adrenaline, and half a slice of pizza inhaled in a three
minute lunch break, dealing with folks that shop prices against every dealer in the tri-state
area and still have to think about it." So the Universe gave us car salesmen.
"I need someone who isn't going to break down when he has three deals unwind in one day.
Someone who is willing to stay five hours over so his teammate can watch their kids'
recital and get the short end of a split deal and not bitch about it. I need someone who
knows the product line inside, outside, and upside down and can still sell what's on the
lot today." So the Universe gave us car salesmen.
"But most of all, I need someone who will study. Learn the craft. Treat the people right.
Train the new guy when you're not playing pranks on him. Take him under your wing. Pass
down everything you've learned. So that one day, after you've sold everyone, and their
families, and their coworkers, you're living out your days puttering around dealerships
doing dealer trades, you can look out at all the young faces in the showroom, and know
that somehow, some way, you made an impact on the world."
And so, the Universe gave us car salesmen.,.