If anyone knows what crazy crippling fear is when it comes to approaching women, one
hundred percent, that is me.
I'd say about 10, 11, maybe 12 years ago, I was trying to learn how to meet women and
I struggled really bad.
It didn't matter if I was attracted to the girl or not.
It didn't matter if I was intoxicated with alcohol.
When I saw a girl and I wanted to go over and say hi to her, it was extremely difficult.
And I didn't really know why.
I thought to myself, why is this scary?
I don't even think I'm scared that much of rejection.
Who cares if she rejects me?
What's the deal?
I really couldn't get to the bottom of why I was feeling what I was feeling.
But then later I learned that it's some sort of primal fear where we are scared to get
rejected because we didn't have access to that many women a long time ago.
Getting rejected by woman was a pretty big deal when we were back in the caveman days.
But I digress.
Right now, you're probably watching this video because you want to learn how you can get
over your approach anxiety just like I did.
I'm gonna give you little step by step plan on how to do it.
Just understand that you're going to need at least a good month, a consistent month
of working on this to defeat your approach anxiety.
It's going to take a little bit of time.
But then again, if you look at the span of life, what is one month out of the many many
years you're going to be alive being able to approach women?
If you can take one month out of your life and just really focus on getting rid of this
approach anxiety, it's going to be worth it to you.
I'm gonna give you a few rules.
When you're going out and you're trying to meet women, don't focus on every girl you
talk to is going to have to be this big conversation where you're going to have to use all these
techniques that you might be learning on this channel and try to get her attracted to you.
Don't think about it like that.
That's what a lot of guys do.
They think every girl they talked to has to be this extraordinary conversation and get
her attracted.
Right now you need to focus on one thing and one thing only, going over to a woman saying
hi and that's it.
You need to take a baby step approach to get over the anxiety.
Right now you're thinking you got to do all this stuff, but you don't.
You need to take it a step at a time.
And step one is just going over to a girl and saying hello.
Saying hello and then maybe even walking away.
If you can do that, you have gotten to step one.
How do you even do that?
The thing you have to understand is, once you see a girl (and I don't think you should
just wait for the most attractive girl, I think you should do this to anybody) any girl
that you see, you have to go up to her right away.
This is called the 3 second rule.
Actually, this was not invented by myself but Mystery from the Mystery Method, an old
pickup artist.
He said, go up to a girl as fast as you can.
And the reason why he says this (at least what I think he said, or maybe I'm coming
up with this) is that in those 3 seconds, you go over there and do it because if it
takes you too long, you will psych yourself out and will build it up so much that you
eventually won't do it.
The longer you take, the harder it's going to get.
So you have to train yourself to go over there as fast as possible so you don't have your
brain tell you not to do it.
This is the 3 second rule.
That's step one here.
But along with this is make it easy.
Make the initial barrier of entry just really simple.
Instead of thinking I got to talk to this girl forever, just say hi and walk away.
Here's a really good one, this is a little bit more difficult, but at least it's a little
bit low pressure.
Go up to a girl and say "Hey, I just want to say you look very nice today.
Have a good day" and literally just walk off.
That's it.
You're gonna make her day and that's gonna be scary to do.
But if you do that once, it's going to be like, whoa, that was a rush.
And then if you do it again and again and again, let's say you do that 5 times, within
1 hour, you're approaching anxiety is gonna start to go away.
It's kind of magical.
The way you got to work approach anxiety is the way you're working out a muscle.
The more and more that you go and approach, the less and less anxiety becomes.
Right now you have crippling anxiety because you're coming up with all these things in
your head that you think are going to happen when you go over and talk to a girl.
And that's what's keeping you from doing it.
You're creating these stories in your head.
To get rid of these false stories, you need to go and do the thing that scares you.
If you're scared of heights, you should go bungee jumping, which is really hard to do.
But once you do that, you realize, hey, I'm alive, that wasn't a big deal.
Same here is just make it really simple 3 second rule, go up to a girl, say "hello,
I saw you over here, you look very nice today, have a good day" walk away.
Do that a few times, you're going to start to train your brain, rewiring some of the
circuits in your brain that's going to be showing you wait a minute, this is not so
bad.
Then you're going to start to go and talk to more women, then you might end up getting
rejected once you start more conversation.
And then this is going to show you wait a minute, rejections not so bad.
Wait a minute, when I run out of things to say, it's not so bad.
It might be at first are going to get that emotional spike of fear, anxiety or embarrassment.
But the more and more and more you do it with this little baby step approach, the easier
it becomes.
And I'd say if you do it consistently takes a month, maybe two.
This is how I defeated my approach anxiety.
I threw everything out the window and I said, okay, here's the deal, I am just going to
go to girls say hi and see what happens.
And that got me over that initial fear and it was much easier to take the next step.
What's the next step?
You can say a conversation continuer like, hey, are you from, and then the city that
you're in.
Let's say you're in Chicago like I am.
You can say, hey, what's going on?
You look nice, are you from Chicago, and then continue conversation that way.
But that's the second part.
You add that on after you've done maybe 30, 50, 100 approaches where you're just saying
hello.
You take this baby step approach where it gets a little bit and a little bit easier.
I break this all down in a part of my Hooked program.
In my Hooked program, there is a section called The Date Machine where I teach you how to
do this on a more practical level and how to start making this part of your schedule.
You should check that out.
If you go to www.getherhooked.com, I talk more about approach anxiety, how to defeat
it and give you the exact precise schedule on how to go out and make this all happen
and break it down into these baby steps.
And that's going to help you tremendously.
I can't go over that all here now because it would take hours and hours but you're going
to like the Hooked program anyways because that entire program teaches you how to build
attraction with beautiful women, how to get dates, how to have sex, and more.
Check that out at www.getherhooked.com.
Or at the very least, you can use this video to get started to defeat the approach anxiety.
Good luck.
Let us know what happens in the comments.
I'll be there saying hello and I'll see you on the next video.