[Music]
the second night after we got engaged
Jed tells me that he'd been hanging out
with this girl before he left to come on
the show I was like when was this I
remember him saying a week before the
show I was like okay so you broke it off
yes told me it was nothing
it was hard to hear but I tried to let
that go and then a few weeks later I get
news that there was a People magazine
article that was out and I started
reading it and it was not the same story
that I was told the article said that he
didn't really in their relationship
before he came here the extent of that
and what was withheld from me after I've
already said yes it's not okay I don't
even know where to start I don't even
know where to start
like what did she think that first night
what was going through your mind when it
was like Scott has a girlfriend at home
he hung out with her Monday when all
that happened like did it neither like
crossed her mind like maybe say
something to tell like what what cross
did it not I didn't have a girlfriend
though like so to me that didn't feel
like it was a relationship but now when
I look back yeah it was a thing to do
and I should have walked up and said
something right then and there and I did
it I should have said something at the
fantasy suite but once this started
happening I started seeing how I was
feeling about you I couldn't think of
anything else you were it the reason I
held back details that I did was because
I was scared that if I told you you'd
walk away from me and that's the coward
thing to hear I know but that's just the
truth and I'm so not proud of it
and turns me pulling it back has now put
me in this position
uh I feel like it's not just you that's
what I hate because I I know that you
know what else bothered me what when you
got home and I asked you about like time
your friends are like yeah I told him i
won it's makes me mad I got engaged to
someone I love which is a better way of
saying it but I think you howling Saints
worse because now like then I was like
why did you say that people say it
whatever but now it makes me think about
everything and why you came for this and
then saying I wond that's yeah I just
feel like this experience has been taken
away from me because I didn't know all
the details I was being told half-truths
and lies and you and you oh you wanted
me to have clarity and clarity means
truth truth
[Applause]
I need I need some get Grace and
patience though cuz I'm not perfect I
have grace for you I can be mad and I
can be upset but I do have grace for you
but also this doesn't mean the same
thing that's not what I said yes to how
difficult of these last few weeks been
for you they've been really difficult
ah I think I get I have sobbed on the
floor I felt like my whole especially in
that moment like my whole life just like
caved in and everything that I thought
was true and a real wasn't I have been
mad as hell understandably and just
questioning what happened but I've
gotten a lot stronger through it yeah so
where does your relationship stand now I
and not with Jed anymore
the engagements over or not together
it's just that's not what I said yes to
[Music]
you