So do you hit your head?
In this video I'm going to talk about autism and self-harm all that coming up.
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Oh yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
So I wanted to do this video for a long time, but I didn't
know how to do this video.
And I was trying to, I was planning on thinking about all of that and
thinking, Oh, you know, should I do you know this type of video?
I talk about this and do studies and I thought, well, look, why
don't I do a sit down video, just like this talk directly for you.
And.
Basically, uh, you know, tell you my personal experience with, you know,
self-harm autism self-harm and yeah.
Hitting myself in the head and all that kind of stuff.
So I'm going to get into that right now.
But before I do that, I'm going to ask you to go to my Instagram, Twitter,
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Okay.
So hitting your head.
Now, there is a name for hitting your head and I can't for the life of me.
Remember what it's called, but there is a technical term for someone
who hits himself in the head.
And I remember when I was going through my autism assessment
diagnosis process, one of the things that the assessors asked is if I.
Did anything like self harm or hit myself?
And I said, yeah, you know, I hit myself in the head all the time and it said all
how, and then I said, well, look, this, I hit myself in the head with my hand.
My arm was like this, like punch my head.
And they, they wanted to know the specific of how I did it, which was
really interesting because like, th there's a difference when you hit your
head like this and hit your head like that in terms of where that stems from,
I'm guessing in, in, in, in their eyes.
So I was like really taken by this and I found that really fascinating.
So yeah.
I thought it's time to do a video on it.
Okay.
So way before I had medicaion for my anger management and other things, which
come delightfully with having an autism spectrum condition, I was, um, uh, uh,
susceptible to, uh, huge, huge meltdowns.
And I used to get huge meltdowns quite often.
I mean, get maybe one or two a week, which was horrible.
It's even more horrible for my girlfriend at the time to see
me go through those as well.
And yeah.
Then anybody who relates to it meltdowns, they really hit home and they're really
hard and it's hard to, you know, it's distressing to have them out down, and
it's hard to come back from them outbound.
And then you feel like you let yourself down and there's a whole
bunch of stuff that goes with it.
Give me a thumbs up if you know exactly what I mean.
I love ya'.
I feel ya'.
I'm with ya'.
So I used to get so involved in, in, in the, in a meltdown that like my body
would just kind of like, just lash out.
Like everything was just, you know, I'd read just like an emotional of rage
and I'd like hit myself on the head.
And like, but constantly I just hit myself in the head and this would be horrendous.
I'd had like loads of lumps and bumps on my head.
And, um, I actually had a, uh, You know, different kinds of like
headaches and lumps and stuff.
Cause if I hit myself on the head, which isn't good and it's really distressing
to talk about, um, And I despise it.
You know, every time it happened, I would always feel really, really bad.
Like I try my best to not do, but it's almost like an impulse.
Like I just, it just it's like a knee-jerk reaction.
I just hit myself don't know.
And I was always feeling really, really down about that.
But, you know, apparently this is something yeah.
And that is potentially common with people on the autism spectrum.
Now, if you're relating to all the stuff I'm talking about so far, pop me a comment
in the comment section below in line.
Let me know if you do this.
Yes or no.
Do you hit yourself in the head.
I want to know, because I want to know how.
How common or not, this is, you know, it'd be really
interesting to see that feedback.
And I read and respond to every single one.
So it's valuable.
Everything you say to me is valuable and I take it on board a hundred percent,
everything you guys say, I read every one.
So you never missed.
You're awesome.
And I read every one.
I'm not like those other YouTubers who ignore their comments, but you
know, when I'm thinking about this, this whole, like, Um, this whole
thing, myself and a head thing.
Do I see it as self-harm now, when I think of the word self-harm I
feel like, you know, people cutting themselves or, or like, you know,
using knives or self-inflicted torture, um, with like knives or something
or burning themselves or something.
Um, which is an interesting thing to.
Talk about because self-harm is quite a destructive and sensitive topic.
I know there's a bunch of charities like, you know, to write love on the
rounds and things like that who are helping people through self harm.
And I'm going to try and include links to self-harm help websites down below
if you are suffering from self harm.
Um, uh, you know, I, I, I want to be able to make sure that you
guys are being looked after and you have good access to resources.
And so basically.
I would never really classify myself in the head of a self hound.
But then when you think about it, if you think about self harm, self
harm is the act of self kind of like.
Almost like self destruction, you know, you're going to self destruction mode and
you're doing those things to yourself.
Now, there are different driving triggers for, for self harm.
Like, you know, if you think about self harm, it's usually a mental health
issue that people are going through.
And you know, it stems from a mental health condition and they're doing
it to express themselves emotionally.
Uh, through a mental health, you know, episode, when you think of
hitting yourself in the head during not in the meltdown, this is almost
like an emotional knee-jerk reaction.
That's outside of the control of the person who's doing it.
And so it's kind of like, I w I would, I don't want to.
Hit myself in the head.
That's not what I want to do.
I don't want to inflict harm on myself.
So that is technically you mean not wanting to do it, but
it's kind of like automatic.
It just happens.
But with self-harm a lot of the time that people do that to have some sort
of release, I know it's a difficult topic and sensitive topic to talk about.
So I'm not, I don't know the ins and outs because I don't know many
people who've gone through that.
And the people that do, you know, who've gone through that actual self harm.
I.
I give them my support and my friendship, and I don't ask them
any questions cause it's none of my business at the end of the day.
So, um, I, I, you know, I'm not going to.
Go ins and outs because I don't know the answers to be totally honest with you.
I don't know.
And I don't want to say something that maybe offensive to somebody.
I don't want to say something that would be difficult for people to understand.
And so I am going to not really go into the details about the reasons for
self harm, but what I'm trying to think about hitting yourself in the head.
Do I think that is self harm?
I don't know.
And the question is kind of out in the open, I would say on one hand, no,
because hit myself in the head is a, is a meltdown kind of reaction and it's this
outburst and it's horrible because I'm left feeling with like a throbbing head
and I feel let down, like I let myself down by actually doing this and then yeah.
You think, well, how did I, how did it come to this?
How have I done this?
You know, and then on the other hand, you go, well, it's actually
afflicting it's self-inflicting pain, uh, on harm to oneself.
And so that in itself is self-harm.
And so it does beg that question.
Is it self harm?
I don't know.
And you know, I want to be totally honest.
I have been taking medication now since, uh, February March time, uh, to help with
my anger management, to help with my sleep to help with my ADHD, with my moods as
well, because my moods were quite erratic.
They were up and down, and this is very, very common.
And especially at the time of year and especially in winter, um, my
moods dip a lot because I get the seasonal affective disorder for winter.
I kind of start getting a bit more depressed than winter and my
anxiety levels are actually higher.
So I'm more susceptible to meltdowns, but since taking my medication, it's
actually done a lot for me where.
Uh, I haven't had any, um, meltdowns where I hit myself in the head.
No, actually I've had one, I've had one month that, where he was off in the
head, considering that this has happened twice a week and it's now August.
So from February to August, I've only done it like once, which
is just absolutely remarkable.
So I'm really happy that the medication, uh, is going well and that my
body's responding really well to it.
Um, Even though I'm kind of one of these people, I would
rather not have medication.
I'd rather figure out an alternative because I'm like, you know, like a
vegan and I take supplements and I'm like a health guy, but at the end
of the day, If it works, it works, you know, and nobody should ever
be shamed for taking medication.
Cause at the end of the day, you got to look after your health.
And if medication is the answer and medication is the answer.
So for me right now, I'm not currently experiencing too much of
hitting myself in the head anymore.
And it's been like, 30 years of hitting myself to, to coming out
the other end, like, Whoa, this is what it's like to, you know, have a
meltdown and not actually hit myself.
Or this is what it's like to experience.
That part of, of life and, and not actually hit myself.
So I'm really happy that I don't hit myself, but at the same time, it's
still a potential, you know, the potential is still a still has happened.
I'm not saying it's completely gone.
Um, but, but I'd love to know.
Do you have any tactics?
Do you have any techniques, any frameworks that you work with to.
Overcome hitting yourself or self-harm.
And if you are wanting to reach out to anybody and talk to this community
about self harm, you more than happy to in the comments below, if you feel like
a problem shared is a problem having a situation, but also no pressure.
Don't do it.
If you don't want to, I'm just want to let you know that this community and everyone
watching this video, you guys are amazing and you always have great things to say.
And you're always very supportive of commenters and other people
who have gone through hard times.
So thank you so much for that.
So I want to know, do you guys see yourself going ahead or do you not,
um, do you think itself, how much do you not think it's cell phone.
Pop in a comment down below read and respond to every single one.
That would be dope.
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