Republicans are already signaling their intent
to stonewall President Biden's agenda
while dismissing the need for an impeachment trial
for former President Trump.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
[ Theme music plays ]
Our political system
is currently overloaded way beyond its capacity.
It's like a power strip with way too many things plugged in.
We already got the TV, Roku, printer, modem,
iPad, InstaPod, immersion blender,
Christmas tree, and toaster plugged in,
and now we need to find room for the sleep-apnea machine.
And because I live in New York, there's only one other outlet,
and it was drywalled over
during the Coolidge administration,
on top of a deadly pandemic that has overwhelmed hospitals,
an unprecedented economic collapse
that has plunged millions into joblessness
and food scarcity and a botched vaccine rollout
that has states saying they're about to run out of doses,
we also have a violent authoritarian movement
that tried to overthrow democracy,
led by a former president facing an impeachment trial
for, um -- What was it for, again?
-There will be a trial, and when that trial ends,
Senators will have to decide if they believe
Donald John Trump incited the erection --
insurrection against the United States.
-Well, if erection is the charge,
then we certainly don't want him to beat it.
-♪ Yeah ♪
[ Laughter ]
-And they thought we were gonna run out of material.
They should do a "CSI: Mar-a-Lago."
Shut up!
[ Laughter ]
Who needs you rolling your eyes at me?
[ Laughter ]
The only bummer about Schumer's gaffe was
it happened on a Friday, when we were dark,
so the only person I could tell my "beat it" joke to
was my wife, but she bought
noise-canceling headphones
on our honeymoon seven years ago.
Anyway, today the White House officially sent --
excuse me -- today the House officially sent --
still not as bad as "erection"/"insurrection."
[ Laughter ]
But a reminder, we all make mistakes, Chuck.
[ Laughter ]
Anyway, today the House officially sent
its article of impeachment over to the Senate,
setting up a trial in two weeks.
-The Historic second impeachment of President Trump
that takes a big step forward.
The one article brought against him,
incitement of insurrection,
will be delivered to the Senate.
That triggers a Senate trial,
now set to begin in about two weeks.
-Monday is that day that Pelosi and the House
will formally transmit that one article of impeachmemt
to the Senate, kicking off Tuesday
as the day where Senators will be sworn in
as members of the trial.
But then it will be another two weeks
until we see that trial formally begin.
McConnell actually arguing
he actually wanted three weeks
so that the president could actually begin
to create his defense team
and also strengthen his argument against impeachment.
-So, Trump's lawyers will have two weeks
to prepare for their defense, which I guess will be --
what? -- when he told the violent mob of unhinged rioters
to march down to the Capitol and fight to stop Democrats
from stealing the election, he was joking?
"Your Honor, when he whipped the insurrectionists into a frenzy,
he was being sarcastic.
That's why he turned to the camera,
and made a freeze-frame sitcom face,
the classic Mr. Roper Defense.
Not to be confused with Furley's Gambit.
Or maybe they'll say it was a different guy.
"Ya got the wrong Donald Trump. You want this guy."
-You have an opportunity today!
You can be a hero, or you can be a zero!
-This is like where you're in a conference room
at a Radisson, listening to a life coach
tell you how to pick up women.
"You can be a hero, or you can be a zero!
You could be a single guy, or you can be the mingle guy!
You can be a dud and a chump, or you can be a stud on a stump!
Yeah, I posed for that picture!"
[ Laughter ]
Don Jr. has so much confidence onstage.
But I bet if you'd try to find him after,
and tell him he did a great job,
he'll be leaning against the wall, smoking and crying.
"Do you think my dad just narked me out to the feds?!"
Of course, Trump has had a little trouble
assembling a defense team for his impeachment,
because his usual lawyer is busy getting sued
for over a billion dollars.
-"The New York Times" reports that Dominion Voting Systems
has filed a defamation lawsuit this morning
against Rudy Giuliani.
According to the paper, the 107-page lawsuit
accuses Mr. Giuliani of carrying out
a viral disinformation campaign about Dominion,
made up of demonstrably false allegations,
in part, to enrich himself
through legal fees and his podcast.
The suit seeks damages of more than $1.3 billion.
-It's funny, if you sue someone for a billion dollars,
it sound like a joke.
But when you sue them for $1.3 billion,
you start to think, "Oh, they might have some evidence."
What are you gonna do, sue me for a billion dollars?
Oh, $1.3 billion? What do they know?"
[ Laughter ]
And $1.3 billion from Rudy?!
Good thing vampires are immortal,
because he'll have work the rest of his life
to pay that off.
I mean, he doesn't have any money.
This poor man doesn't have any money.
Do you remember how he couldn't even afford hair dye
and just rubbed a typewriter ribbon on his head?
Plus, he's probably still playing alimony to his cousin.
[ Laughter ]
Trump reportedly won't even pay Rudy
for all those trips he made across the country,
lying to steal the election,
and I'm betting Trump made him fly cheap.
Rudy probably had to buy a wing seat on Spirit Airlines.
[ Lisping ] I talk like this
because my teeth are still full of bugs.
[ Normal voice ] Of course, Trump isn't actually defending --
excuse me -- depending on --
I'm really Schumer-ing it up.
[ Laughter ]
Chuck Schumer -- Chuck Schumer cursed me.
Now who is laughing?
-♪ Yeah ♪
[ Laughter ]
I love when we cut out right before we have to pay The Who.
[ Laughter ]
You know who owns the publishing for The Who?
Ol' Rolex Wally.
-♪ Yeah ♪
-Three seconds. We don't owe you a dime!
[ Laughter ]
Of course, Trump isn't actually depending on a real defense
of his actions, because they're obviously indefensible.
I'm no lawyer, but it's pretty obvious
he tried to commit sedition,
he fomented a violent insurrection
to stop the lawful counting of electoral votes,
nearly installed a crony at the Department of Justice
to overturn the results,
and tried to bully the Secretary of State
in Georgia to commit election fraud.
What Trump is really depending on
is servile, morally bankrupt Republicans falling in line.
And judging from comments they made over the weekend,
the GOP is fully on board.
-This election was not stolen. Do you accept that fact?
-Well, what I would say is that the debate
over whether or not there was fraud should occur.
-The Department of Justice, led by William Barr,
said there is no widespread evidence of fraud.
Can't you just say the words
that the election was not stolen?
-What I would suggest is -- What I would suggest is
that if we want greater confidence in our elections --
and 75% of Republicans agree with me --
is that we do need to look at election integrity.
-If you listen to what the president said at the rally,
he said, "Demonstrate peacefully."
And then I got a question later
about whether did he incite them.
I also think everybody across this country
has some responsibility.
-I think the trial is stupid. I think it's counterproductive.
I think this is gonna be really bad for the country.
It's going take us -- Not just is it going to
keep us from focusing on really important things,
but it's also just going to stir it up even more.
-Man, they're throwing everything at the wall --
impeachment will stir up the country;
the election was stolen; we all bear some responsibility.
It's like getting pulled over
with a giant plume of marijuana smoke in the car
and telling the cop, "I think it's the exhaust pipe.
It is legal in several states.
And I only started smoking when you pulled me over,
because that gave me severe anxiety."
Also, Marco, honestly, do you have any shame at all?
You called Trump an embarrassment
and a con man and implied in public
that he had a tiny [Bleep].
But now you're calling impeachment stupid?
Also, you famously doinked a kid in the head with a football.
You don't get to call anything stupid after that, ever.
And you think impeachment would stir up the country?
It's already stirred.
This is what you call "stirred."
You guys already did the stirring.
You don't get to pretend everything is just fine now.
Violent seditionists and white supremacists
and militia members stormed the Capitol building
and tried to overthrow democracy.
We have to do something about that
so it doesn't happen again.
Instead, Republican leaders are talking about Trump's base
the way park rangers talk about bears on a campground.
"Don't make eye contact, move away slowly,
and if worse comes to worse, let them eat your hot dogs.
They're just hot dogs."
So Republicans have already made it clear
they refuse to hold Trump accountable
for inciting an insurrection or do anything at all
about the violent authoritarian movement
they've cultivated, not to mention the pandemic,
vaccine rollout, and economic crisis.
Suffice it to say, just because Joe Biden is president now
doesn't mean things are normal again.
They're not. At this point,
when I check my phone in the morning,
I just have one news alert from CNN
that says, "Breaking: everything."
Nearly a million people have recently filed for unemployment,
thousands are dying a day,
and the one thing that could be a silver bullet,
distribution of the vaccine,
was left in disarray by the last administration.
In fact, millions of doses are reportedly missing,
and no one knows why or where they are.
For all we know, Trump left the White House
with a bunch of vials stuffed in his coat,
and now he's selling them at the Mar-a-Lago buffet.
I don't even know where to begin
when I check the news in the morning.
I open my "New York Times" app, and all the headlines are bad,
so I check "The Washington Post" app,
and all the headlines are bad.
And then I check the "Pittsburgh Post-Gazette" app,
and the Steelers are still out of the playoff.
Which reminds me, last week, after Ted Cruz said
President Biden was choosing the people of Paris
over the people of Pittsburgh, I favorably compared
my father's hometown of Pittsburgh to Paris,
remarking that, unlike Pittsburgh,
Paris doesn't have an incline.
Well, some French viewers were quick to point out
that Paris does, in fact,
have an incline, or funicular, in Montmartre.
So I would like to retract that statement.
I also called Ted Cruz a jagoff, and I'd like to retract that,
but only so that I can say it again for the first time.
Ted Cruz, you're a jagoff.
On top of everything else that's going on right now,
there are also the crises that preceded Trump,
like our healthcare crisis, the climate crisis,
voter suppression, structural inequality
and institutional racism, not to mention the conditions
that nearly allowed Trump to remain in office
or steal the election,
despite winning 7 million fewer votes.
We need mechanisms in place for bold systemic change
and immediate relief for suffering Americans,
which is why the Biden administration
has started by offering a plan to provide billions of dollars
for vaccine distribution, increased unemployment benefits,
direct payments, and a $15 minimum wage,
among other things. Republicans meanwhile
have responded by announcing their opposition to it.
-President Joe Biden's proposal to boost the U.S. economy
and efforts to fight the COVID-19 pandemic
is facing some Republican opposition.
-While Biden is pushing
for Republican and Democratic lawmakers
to work toward an agreement,
there's some criticism from the GOP.
-Multiple Congressional Republicans,
from Senator Pat Toomey to Congressman Kevin Brady,
top Republican on the House Ways and Means Committee,
have public panned Biden's proposal as a nonstarter.
-Republican Senator Susan Collins,
who was on the call, has reservations,
writing in a statement, "It seems premature
to be considering a package of this size and scope."
-I'm sorry, Susan Collins, it's premature?
You want to wait a little longer
and see how much worse things can get?
This is like if the Steelers waited a couple more weeks
to find a running game. Okay.
Okay, now I get why my wife bought those headphones.
I just heard it.
I just heard it for the first time.
Seriously, when would be the right time
to maybe start thinking about considering
possibly doing something eventually
about the highly infectious virus rapidly spreading
across the country, overwhelming hospitals,
and forcing millions out of work?
When would be a good time for you?
Getting these people to do something
about a national crisis is like
getting Verizon to come set up your Fios.
"We could pencil you in sometime between 9:00 a.m.
and 6:00 p.m. on Saturday, March 37, 2045.
Would that work? Can you give us your address
to the technician can go to a different house?"
The Republican Party has learned nothing,
and it has not changed. It's still the party
that elected Trump and stood by him
as he attempted to foment sedition.
It's the same party that spent eight years
stonewalling President Obama's agenda.
And now, even after a historic, resounding defeat
after losing the House, the Senate, and the presidency,
Republicans are still standing in the way of urgent relief,
systemic change, and accountability
amid multiple simultaneous crises.
If you're asking yourself what their motivation is,
it's possible that they're... -Stupid.
This has been "A Closer Look."
[ Theme music plays ]
God's Love We Deliver cooks and brings
over 2 million meals a year to men, women, and children
living with HIV, AIDS, cancer, and other serious illnesses.
And they need your help now more than ever.
If you're watching this online, you can hit the Donate button.
Stay safe, wash your hands, wear a mask.
We love you.