- [John] We don't drink vodka here all that much -
and if we do, we're seventeen - um, at a bus stop.
- [Angela] Okay!
- [Dermot] Well, no, no, you get... gotta get the aroma first.
- [Patrick] Ugh, that's Smirnoff, anyway.
- [Angela] Tinge of paint stripper.
- [John] Oo-oo-ooh!
- [John] Ow.
- [Dermot] Ahhh!
- [Angela] Tasty!
- [Dermot] *weak voice* It's good, yeah.
- [Peter] I feel cleaner on the inside. - [Patrick] Really?
- [Madi] That's really nice!
- [Dermot] It's the back of my throat being on fire right now. - [Angela] *laughs*
- [John] Little bit scrapy.
- [Madi] But only a little bit.
- [Angela] Oh, I can just feel the burning now!
- [Dermot] Yeah, right!? - [Angela] *laughs*
- [Peter] "Continuing traditions".
- [Patrick] Rumour... - [Peter] Alcoholism.That's the tradition.
- [Patrick] Yeah.
- [Dermot] That's just Smirnoff!? You're shittin' me!?
- [Patrick] First time I had Smirnoff I got a 'naggin' and I put it into a big Coke bottle -
- [Peter] Yeah?
and just downed it.
- [Peter] How did that go for you?
- [Patrick] Got sick everywhere.
- [Dermot] Okay, well, it looks the same.
- [Patrick] That was a lot. *recoils*
- [Madi] Oh no!
It's definitely vodka! - [John] Yeah.
- [Dermot] Ah, yeah!
- [John] That one has teeth.
- [Patrick] Yeah, that was a lot less harsh.
- [John] Did you like that more than the first?
- [Madi] No.
- [John] No?
- [Madi] No.
- [John] Me neither.
- [Patrick] "Stol" - "Stolichna" -
"Stolichnanyinsowazuzen".
- [John] The bottle tells us about himself and his story. - [Madi] Oh!
- [Dermot] "I am Stolichnaya!"
- [Patrick] It looks very cheap.
- [John] "Don't give to pregnant women". - [Madi] I...
- [Peter] It's softer and it's higher alcohol percentage.
You wouldn't realize how destroyed you were getting.
- [Angela] You're a total lightweight!
- [Dermot] I'm so- I haven't eaten today!
I - I have... I literally - -[Angela] Ha!
I'm fine!
- [Madi] It smells like someone I know-
and I need to figure it out. - [John] *laughs*
- [Dermot] Swap!
- [Angela] Now you have the spiked one.
- [Dermot] *laughs*
- [Peter] *exhales*
- [Madi] *exhales* - [John] They're beginning to lose their 'specicifity' -
and I'm beginning to lose my articulation skills. - [Madi] *laughs*
- [Patrick] Oh my god!
- [Dermot] Uh, that didn't burn as much.
- [Madi] Oh! I feel like we're really going to learn about each other.
*bangs hand* Ow.
- [Patrick] That's definitely the harshest one yet.
- [John] Can't really speak Russian, but I'll give it a go.
"Pthraah! Standard".
- [Angela] Can't see the words!
- [Dermot] Can you not see the words!?
Success!
She's hammered!
- [Patrick] F***in' hell!
- [Angela] Considering you're, like -
a functioning alcoholic, you should have a higher tolerance?
- [Dermot] It's so nice that you used the word "functioning" there.
- [Madi] Having a little licorice pang to it.
- [John] And I don't like licorice in my drinks! - [Madi] Me neither.
- [Dermot] Oh god!
- [John] As vodka goes, that was another glass of vodka.
- [Patrick] *exhales* *wheezes*
- [Angela] That was like f***in' rocket fuel!
- [Dermot] *vocalizes*
- [John] They all taste like a funeral.
- [Patrick] I've had more shots of vodka than I have, literally, in my life before.
- [Angela] Oh! I really like this bottle!
- [Dermot] "Jewel of Russia"!
- [John] You liked it?
- [Madi] Mmm!
- [John] Cool.
- [Patrick] *coughs* When you... *gags*
*sniffles*
- [Angela] Do you know why it's the best one?
- [Dermot] Why?
- [Angela] 'Cause I can't remember the other three! - [Dermot] *laughs*
- [John] The best before date is, I don't know if you can read that -
is the third of the fifth of the twelfth of the twenty-seventh!
- [Angela] It smells expensive. - [Dermot] *laughs*
- [Madi] There has been no difference between any of these vodkas.
- [Dermot] *mumbles*
- [John] Oh! - [Madi] *laughs*
- [John] No?
No!
- [Peter] Very mild aftertaste.
- [Dermot] *gags* - [Angela] Oh, that's actually really nice!
- [John] It's still kind of active around the mouth.
- [Madi] Myself also.
- [Dermot] I've got - I've got a little bit left. I'll sip - I'll sip that.
- [Peter] Beluga is probably my favourite, have to say.
- [Angela] "Noble Russian".
- [Dermot] Well, the Beluga is the most noble whale! - [Angela] "Vodka".
- [Patrick] *gasps* It's a cork!
- [Madi] It has the whale face that whales have.
- [John] *imitates whale call*
- [Dermot] "Best consumed with caviar". Where the f*** is our caviar!?
- [Patrick] Aw, I got loads of vodka on my penis!
- [Dermot] You know, usually when there's a black spot on something, it's - it's a sign of danger?
Why is there a black spot in this bottle?
- [Patrick] Oh my God! F***in' hell! It hits ya like a ton of bricks!
- [John] Once you go whale, you never -
- [Madi] Moby Dick.
- [John] Yep.
- [Dermot] You know what would really cheer me up right now?
- [Angela] What?
- [Dermot] Like, a t-shirt with "Facts." on it -
just so I could show how much I love "Facts.".
- [Angela] Oh my god! Declan!
- [O.S.] *laughs* - [Dermot] My name's Dermot, but go on.
- [Angela] Dermot!
- [Dermot] Oh my god!
You mean you can get "Facts." t-shirts!?
- [Angela] Yea-a-ah!
- [Dermot] You can just go to that - that link in the thing, down below -
and you can just get them?
- [Angela] You can!
- [Dermot] *vocalizes* Good!