Hey guys, so this video is about
what to do when she starts pulling away
and it's a question from a viewer.
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So, the question is or came in as hey,
this girl was constantly pursuing me.
When I was the alpha and more emotionless,
but the second one I opened up and became
the emotional one she has slowly
started to put in less effort
and show less interest.
How do I get back to being the alpha
and get her to chase me again when I've already
put myself into the better emotional spot.
And then he edits a little bit saying
she used to always be the one to pursue me
until I opened up and became the one
who pursued her.
But I need to get back to where I was in the beginning.
So, I'll read you my reply
then I'll fill in some of the blanks.
Number one, Stop chasing,
do not initiate communication.
So, replying and engaging in conversation
when she starts whether it's by text, phone
I am whatever,
is completely okay,
and it's encouraged in fact,
that brings me to number two,
don't be cold an aloof.
When she reaches out you want
to make her feel welcome.
So, that she'll want to come back again,
so you want to be charming
and charismatic and playful,
and teasing and sexy,
and keep the sexual tension in there.
And don't make like
she's done anything wrong.
You just want her to think that you're busy
which brings me into number three,
be busy.
So, you want to...
Oh, and then actually number three, was uhh...
Which one, if she says
where did you go don't be a chicken,
be like oh, well I thought you didn't like me
so I'm just giving you space.
No, be busy, you're busy you have a life
and you want to make sure
that she knows that you have a life.
And here's the reason why,
because if she's your end-all and be-all
then that devalues you.
If she sees you as being
so into her that
you have no life outside of her
or that you're always
Johnny-on-the-spot
to you know text back
and to be available for her.
Then it shows that you don't have
high value in other women's eyes.
And whether or not, this is
like what we like.
It's just our biology so you need to
raise your own value
by being attractive
to other women
and to actually have
potential competition for her
Like for example,
if you're out in the world when you have friends,
you're taking care of your health,
you're looking at your purpose in life,
your career is on track,
you've got friends and a social life.
Then that puts you in her eyes
at risk to meeting somebody else
that could be potentially better than her.
Now, nobody's better or worse,
but what...
You kind of get where I'm going.
You're understanding what I'm going for here is that
if you're out in the world
and you've got all of these high-value traits
because you've got a life
in every aspect and you're a cool guy
that means that other women
are going to see you as cool as well.
And she stands
the chance to lose you,
but if you're always there for her
and you always see her
and treat her
as the highest value of anything in your life.
if you put her on a pedestal
then she's going to know
that you're not opening yourself
up to other people
and that even if you
kind are all over the world
then no one's going to see you as having any value.
Anyway, because your...
Your body language and your attitude
everything’s going to be put towards
this particular person that you're interested in.
So, you always want to leave them
wanting more, right.
So, that's the model we have them come to you.
So, stop chasing, right.
Like, stop chasing.
And the thing about
opening up the emotional thing,
we don't want men to not be emotional,
we don't want men to have no feelings.
We just
truly, this is the truth of it
we want you to
sort of ration your feelings
and still not be
all in.
You have to have
like a solid groundedness
within yourself in your own life.
You need to be able to walk away from the deal.
So, if you're needy
and she feels that
then she's not going
to want to chase you.
And she’s going to know that you're always
going to be there to chase her.
So, you need to go out and have a life.
Start working on things in your own worlds
that need to be improved.
Whether it's your health, your finances, your work,
your social life,
giving back in the community, whatever.
There's somewhere in your world
that needs improvement
and you should be focusing on
so that she's not the entire focus of your world.
And the reality is that if she doesn't come to you
if she doesn't come to you
she doesn’t come back.
Then she wasn't really that into you
and so what, move on.
When you go out in the world
and you're dating other people
or at least being open
to dating other people
then that gives you more
self-worth
so that you don't act
insecure needy around this person.
And the reality is that
you should be dating other people
unless you have a solid
commitment with this person
and you're you've advanced to a stage
where you're both equally into each other
then you need to be playing the field
and I don't mean using people.
Be honest if it comes up
for me personally the boundary
as far as how much to discuss
and disclose as far as how many people
or who you're dating.
It's really about how intimate you've been with a person.
For me, if you've had sex that's when
you need to actually have a conversation
and say okay, are we seeing other people,
are we like, in a relationship
are we in an open relationship
where, what are we at this point in time?
Yes, I completely think
that if you're having sex with someone
then you need to have those conversations.
But up until that point,
you should be playing the field,
you should be trying out the ice cream flavors
so you know which one is really the one you like the most.
And if.. And it's not using people
because the women that you're dating
should be doing the same thing.
And if it doesn't work out
between you and any one of those ones
they shouldn't feel bad.
Because they have the same opportunity
and truly the people who are
the rightest for each other
will come together
and if that's not you for them.
Then great, there's someone else better for them
and same thing with you.
If this girl doesn't come back to you
there's someone better out there for you.
You need to get over that
it's just your own insecurity
telling you that this person is the one.
If she doesn't come back she's not the one
that's pretty straight forward.
So, remember the motto
always leave them wanting more,
be engaging, be charismatic,
be teasing, be playful,
make them want to come back to you.
And also, be out there in the world having life
where there is potential to meet other people
both for you to know that
but also for her to know that
and she knows that and she doesn't give a crap
that you might be dating someone else,
she don't want you.
And you just have to get over it.
Sorry, but you just have to get over it
the best way to get over it
is actually to do all those same things
get out in the world and have a life.
So, I hope this helped
if you didn't gives me a thumbs up
and if you have
other questions write it in the comments.
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bing!
And yeah, I think that's it.
So,
yeah, I'll see you in the next video.
Thanks for watching, thanks for comments
put out.
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